Tears of a confused mind
by DarkRaven-04
Summary: Hermione's life is upside down, she has powers she can't control and a fear that won't go away. She just wants to be left alone. Is that too much to ask? rNr!
1. Chapter1: The life she’d like to forget

disclaimer : i wish i owned harry potter! it all belongs to J.K!

****

Chapter one – The life she'd like to forget.

**__**

'AHHHGGGGG'

**'I will take the utter most pleasure in doing this Harry, for to long have you escaped me and now it must come to a end.'**

Withering in pain Harry looked up into the red eyes of Voldermort. He could feel himself slowly losing his strength and all he wanted to do was die, the pain he was too much for him to handle. He watched as the 40 Death Eaters circled him and unconscious Ron.

Someone crept into the room and hid while the Death Eaters closed around them. Watching Harry being threatened, the impostor raised their wand and shouted -

**'STUPEFY!'**

The powerful spell hit 10 Death Eaters in the back, everyone turned to look at where the spell had come from. The intruder raised from the hiding place to face them all. A shrill laugh filled the room.

****

'You are a powerful witch aren't you? But do you think that you can save your precious potter, from the dark lord and my faithful servants? You want to take on 30 Death Eaters, and me?

The Death Eater's laughed which sent a shiver down Harry's spine. With a casual flick of his wand, Voldermort sent a curse flying towards the unknown person. They did nothing to stop it or protect them self, instead their instinct told them to just lift their hand. As they did the curse was deflected onto a wall causing a hole to appear. Voldermort turned to the person with a bewildered look.

Still facing him, the intruder felt something come over them, something waking up in the depths of their body - an energy. Their eyes turned black and hollow, a red light shone around them, the Death Eaters didn't quite no what was happening. Something told the person to raise their head and shout

****

'VOLCA PETRIFICA.'

There was a flash of white light and a violet a beam hit each of the Death Eaters and Voldermort, sending them to the ground screaming, holding their heads in agony. Watching from across the room, Harry was confused and frightened. He could hardly see but who ever it was, was standing there shaking and sweating with this red light surrounding them and their eyes, their eyes black.

The screams and pleads of the Death Eaters subsided. The room was silent. Just before Harry passed out, the person approached him. Harry looked up and whispered

****

'Thank you. You saved me but who are you?'

The person came out of the shadows, just as Harry saw the face he fell unconscious. Walking towards the collapsed Death Eaters, Harry's saviour saw that all of their lips were ice blue, their eyes white and open in shock. A trickle of blood came from the sides of their mouths. Breathing heavily the person approached the figure of Voldermort. Kicking him over to see his red eyes now white. He was dead. They were all dead.

The person didn't know how long they stayed there looking at his body but it seemed like hours when in reality it was only seconds. The red glow had faded and their eyes were back to normal. They could hear footsteps approaching and they panicked. They had just killed 40 Death Eaters and the Dark Lord. Just as they turned to run into a corner, not wanting to be seen, 30 people stormed into the room wands raised, however they stopped when they saw the scene infront of them. All of their expressions were shocked, only one person saw the shaking figure in the corner. Silence. Finally a female witch spoke –

**'Oh my goodness. Albus –'**

She was cut short by a wave of Dumbledore's hand, never taking his eyes of the trembling person in the corner.

**'Find Harry and Ron.'**

Just as some of them were about to leave the room, a voice came from the corner.

**'They are over by the window.'** With their hand they pointed towards where the unconscious bodies of Harry and Ron were.

They all jumped at the voice, they didn't realise any one else was in the room. Several of the wizards went to Harry and Ron. The rest went to the Death Eaters. But Dumbledore stood still watching the quivering figure. By now the figure had pulled themselves up to the wall and hugged their knees and spoke to the ones by the Death Eaters.

**'There's no point. They are all dead,'** paused for a second **'including Voldermort.'**

Gasping, all of the wizards turned to look at Dumbledore, shocked and confused. Never did he take his eyes off of the now violently shaking figure. A few seconds passed then he spoke.

****

'She's right. Take Harry and Ron back to the school, I need to talk to Miss Granger and find out what happened here.'

At the mention of her name, Minerva McGonagal, Tonks, Lupin and Mad Eye Moody rushed to her side to check if she was ok. However they got within 2 feet of her and they were sent flying back. They all watched in amazement as a red glow surrounded Hermione. She was still shaking and crying.

**'Take the boys back, now. I must speak with Miss Granger immediately.'**

They all turned to leave, levitating Ron and Harry infront of them. Minerva McGonagal gave a backward glance to Hermione and Albus, confused and continued with the rest of the order. After a few minutes of silence Dumbledore could hear sobbing. He went over to her and sat down beside her. The red glow had gone and now all that was left was a vulnerable young witch, to scared to speak.

**'What happened Hermione?'**

She couldn't bring herself to tell him what happened. She continued to cry with her knees in her chest. Finally she took a deep breath and said,

**'I I I did it, I I I killed t t them. The Death Eaters, V v v voldermort. I k k killed them.'**

She put her hand to her face and cried. Dumbledore rubbed her back and tried to comfort her. It was no use, she continued to cry.

****

'I'm a murderer.'

Waking up from her nightmare, Hermione Granger found herself drenched in sweat and shaking. This was a nightly occurrence for the young witch. Ever since that night at the Riddle Mansion 4 weeks ago, when she killed 40 Death Eaters and defeated one of the greatest wizards in history, she had been having nightmares about that night over and over again.

She got up and went to her window. Gazing over the clear night sky, tears began to fall from her amber eyes. She thought about her life over the last year. It had been the worst year of her life. Her parents were murdered by remaining Death Eaters less than 3 weeks ago and had to arrange the funeral alone. Her two best friends had stopped talking to her when they went back to school in September because they were more interested in girls and sex and not 'plain Hermione.' The Slytherin girls had beat her up numerous times throughout the year because she was 'too pretty.' Her so-called best girl friends Lavender, Ginny and Pavatil had ignored her from the start of the year because guys paid more attention to her and not them. She didn't understand why they were ignoring her or why the guys paid more attention to her. She hadn't changed much. She grew taller so she was about 5'9, she wasn't a stick thin girl either but she wasn't fat (a small 12 in English sizes) she wore clothes that complimented her curvy figure. Her hair was toffee coloured, wavy and fell just under her shoulders and she wore little makeup. She consider herself average not at all pretty. Hermione couldn't take having no friends, one night just after the New Year, she tried to take her life.

Running her figures down her scar on her arm, she leaned on her arms on the window and recalled that night and how she felt.

__

She was alone. Nobody to turn to, nobody to talk to. She took a knife from the great hall at dinner and made her way to the room of requirements. She remembers taking the knife across her stomach twice and then across her left forearm down to her wrist. He watched as the blood trickled down her arm and she immediately began to feel faint. The next thing she remembers was waking up in the hospital wing with Madam Pomfrey holding a cold wet towel to her head. She looked around to see if Harry or Ron was there but they weren't. She was alone again. The headmaster visited her and had said that Harry and Ron had found her when they went there with their girlfriends. This made Hermione feel two inches tall. They hadn't gone to look for her, they had found her by chance. The headmaster told her he would keep a close eye on her.

Walking away from the window she wiped away her tears and sat on her bed. Looking at her bedside table she saw a picture of Harry, Ron and her. They had their arms around Hermione and they were all smiling. It pained her to see them like this and angry memories flooded back.

__

The night she came out of the hospital wing, she made her way to Gryffindor tower. She entered the portrait hole to find nobody in the common room. She thought that maybe Harry and Ron would be there to see if she was ok. But they weren't. Nobody was. She went up to her dormitory and to her relief Harry and Ron were sitting on her bed. She smiled and made her way over to them, but seeing the expression on their face she stopped. They turned to her and Harry said in a quiet voice,

****

'How could you?'

'Excuse me?'

Ron jumped in and started shouting at her.

****

'You selfish bitch! How could you do that to us? Did you ever think how that might effect us? We were the ones that found you god dam it!

Startled, Hermionejust stared at them, numb with anger. Shacking in fury and her fists clenched. Ron's face was as red as his hair and his eyes wide. Harry just looked at her in disgust. They just stared at each other for what seemed like minutes. Finally Hermione spoke.

**'How dare you speak to me like that? You haven't said more than two words to me whole term and now, now you concern yourself with my welfare? Well no you don't actually care about me or how I'm doing, I've been in the hospital wing for 3 days and neither of you came to visit me, it's all about you! If you had taken any notice to me then you would no what I had been going through. But your still oblivious to the fact that the Slytherins beat me up when ever they feel like it. None of the girls will talk to me. You never noticed that I was almost raped twice by Blaise-'**

**'Hermione I'm sorry we never new-'**

Tears began to flow from her eyes.

****

'OF CORSE YOU NEVER KNEW, YOU NEVER BOTHERED TO TALK TO ME SINCE YOU GOT SEX HAPPY AND GOT GIRL FRIENDS!'

She stopped to take in some breath while Ron and Harry just continued to look at her. Not quite knowing what to say. Tears formed in all of their eyes, she looked at them and continued.

****

'No girls will talk to me and just when I thought things couldn't get any worse you both stopped talking to me! I'm the selfish one? Ever since you got girlfriends, you never looked at me twice! I never did anything to you, I tried to take my life because I didn't have one any more! I had no friends, nothing! And I no things are only going to get worse! I couldn't give to fucks what it would do to you, because you didn't care any more. It was all about you two. I was always in your shadow. SO FUCK THE BOTH OF YOU. YOU'RE THE SELFISH ONES AND I HOPE YOU BURN IN HELL!

With that she turned and ran from the dormitory.

Hermione looked at the picture again, picked it up and threw it against the wall, smashing the glass. Her anger was getting the best of her, she could feel the red glow forming around her. She had to calm herself down or she would do some damage. Taking deep breaths the glow slowly faded and tears formed again in her eyes. This often happened. She made her way to the bathroom and got a glass of water. She splashed some on her face and looked in the mirror at herself. She didn't recognise the girl staring back at her. She was pail and thin. She had no colour at all in her face and her eyes were grey. Bags formed over bag under her eyes and her hair was matted from the sweat.

Walking back into her bedroom she looked at the clock. It read 05:29am. Sighing she looked around her room once more she came across a picture of her parents. Her dead parents. It was taken just before she went back to school for her sixth year. This was one of the last times that she saw her parents. They had taken her out just before she went back to school because they wouldn't see her in almost a year. Little did they know that, that was one of the last times that Hermione would be smiling happily with them? This was the last straw for Hermione this morning. She dropped to her knees and covered her face with her hands. The tears flowed and she became angry. She looked up at the window and shouted.

****

'Why me! What terrible thing have I done to deserve all this pain? I haven't done anything to justify any of this!'

She continued to cry. She hated what has happened to her. She hated herself. She believed that she was the cause of the problems. She felt as if she was the one the brought trouble to the people around her. She had this power now, and she didn't understand it. She didn't no why she had it. She feared it. It seemed to trigger when she was angry and upset. She was scared for the people around her incase they were on the receiving end of it. That's why after the night at the Riddle Mansion when she sent Tonks, McGonagal, Lupin and Mad Eye flying, she distanced herself from teachers, her school work and her peers. She didn't want to hurt the people she loved. She couldn't go through losing anybody else.

After that night Harry and Ron had tried to thank her for what she had done, for saving them and to apologise for everything. But Hermione ignored them. She ignored all of the people that came up to her and to congratulate her on defeating the dark lord. They called her a hero, their saviour from death. She didn't feel like a hero, to her she was nothing more than a murderer. She should be sent to Azkaban for what she did. She thought it best now if she didn't have any friends. It was her fault her parents her dead and it was her fault that she ruined the lives of other families when she killed the death eaters. Because of her people were motherless, fatherless, and childless. Because of her she was motherless and fatherless. All due to this unknown power she had. If she didn't have any sort of relationship with anyone they wouldn't be put at any sort of risk. Being friends with her they were putting themselves in danger incase she got angry and hurt them. She couldn't do that to anyone.

She missed Harry and Ron, she so badly wanted to accept their apology, wanted to take them back. But she wasn't prepared to take that sort of risk. She couldn't take that risk with anyone. She wanted to shut herself out from the muggle world as well as the wizarding world.

If she returned to the magic world then she would be treated in so many different ways. People would fear her and her new power, they wouldn't want to be on the other end of one of her curses. Some people would constantly question her about that night and how she got her power, she didn't know her self so she couldn't explain it any one else, and just thinking about that night at the Riddle Mansion brought her to tears, she couldn't bare talking about it. The rest of the people would make her famous. She knew this because of how some of the students and teachers treated her when she was at school. She didn't want people to be nice to her and thank her. She didn't deserve it.

This way she could go into the muggle world because they didn't no who she was or what she was, she could pretend that the last year of her life never happened and act as of nothing had ever happened to her. She couldn't do this either. She was scared incase she got angry with a muggle and killed them. She couldn't put innocent people in danger. So she cut her self from both worlds. This way nobody would get hurt.

Getting up from the floor Hermione made her way over to the shards of glass. Clearing it with a wave of her hand the picture was restored. She could do wandless magic now because of her new power, so she hardly ever used her wand. She walked to her bed and thought that she would try and get a few more hours sleep before she faced the day ahead. She pulled the covers up to her neck and whispered

**'I'm sorry'**

She then drifted into a dreamless sleep. The first time in a month.

A.N thanks for reading! please read and review i'd really like to no what you think

dark raven

-x-


	2. Chapter2 Death, destruction and a runawa...

disclaimer: J.K owns harry potter i only wish i did!

**Chapter two – Death, destruction and a runaway**Little did Hermione no that somebody was watching her. Dumbledore had been watching Hermione through a mirror, which allowed the seer to see whom ever they wanted. Dumbledore was worried, he cared for her like she was his own grand daughter. He had been watching her since New Year when Hogwart's most promising student in 50 year (since Voldermort aka Tom Riddle) had tried to take her life. He knew that there had been changes in the student body when they arrived back in September. He noticed that Hermione's appearance had changes, which caught the attention to the males and caused jealously amongst the female. It wasn't his place to interfere with the student's relationships so he hoped things would work out. He thought less of Harry and Ron for shunting Hermione aside as well. He knew of the argument that they had when she came out of the hospital wing, and that her Gryffindor pride got the best of her and ignored them. He was pleased however when he found out that she went and saved Harry and Ron from Voldermort. He thought that this would bring their friendship back together. He remembers that night clearly.

FLASHBACK

There was a smashing at the Headmasters door and a flustered, out of breath witch came in. Dumbledore turned to the witch and she spoke,

'Harry and Ron, taken by Death Eaters'

**'When was this Minerva?' **He stood up and turned to tinker with some instruments in his office.

**'About 20 minutes ago. Dean and Neville said they heard screams from Harry and Ron's bed and the next thing they knew they had walked out of the common room and towards the main gates. They said they looked out the window and saw that there were 20 black clocked figures at the gate and the second Harry and Ron were there they disappeared.'**

Several minutes passed and he was nodding at a sliver instrument on his desk.

**'Indeed'**

Turning to face her he said

**'I think that Voldermort used an ancient magic that takes over the mind of a person and he can control them. Much like the unforgivable imperial curse. We must alert the order.'**

Dumbledore made his way to the fireplace and threw some floo powder in to it.

**'12 Grimmuald place. Lupin? Lupin are you there?'**

'Yes Dumbledore what is it? What's happened?

'Alert the rest of the order and get here immediately, I will explain when you get here. Please hurry.'

Dumbledore took his head out of the fire and turned to McGonagal.

**'When they get here explain what has happened. I must go and inform the staff.'**

With that he turned out of his office. About 10 minutes later he returned to find 30 other members of the Order crammed into his office.

**'Minerva has already explained the situation, and now we must make our way to the Riddle Mansion. My informants have told me that he is keeping them there.'**

'How are we getting there?'

Dumbledore turned to Charlie Weasley. And pulled out an old trophy.

**'With this Charlie, this is a port key, the same one infact the transported Harry to the graveyard in the 4th year. Harry told me that it took him there and on the hill was Voldermort's old Mansion.**

He tapped it three times and said

**'Portus.'**

Everybody placed a finger to the trophy and within a few seconds they felt a pulling sensation around their navel. In a few moments they all landed gracefully in an old graveyard. Dumbledore looked around and then his eyes fell on the Mansion. He stared for a few seconds when he saw a bright white light come from the mansion, then a thick bolt of violet light came from the sky and into one of the back rooms.

**'What was that?' **You could hear that Tonks was nervous and frightened by the sound of her voice.

They all made their way up to the house practically running. They could hear screams as they reached the entrance. They burst through the doors and the screams stopped.

**'Where now?' **Her voice was more confident this time.

**'There's a red light ahead, lets try in there.'**

They all followed Dumbledore down the corridor to the fading red glow. They reached the door and pushed them open, wands raised for battle. As soon as they were threw the doors, they stopped and looked at the scene in front of them. However instead of looking at the mass of fallen people, Dumbledore saw a shaking figure in the corner and watched it. After a few seconds he heard McGonagal behind him.

'Oh my goodness. Albus –'

Dumbledore cut her short with a wave of his hand, never taking his eyes of the person in the corner.

**'Find Harry and Ron.'**

Just as some of the order turned to leave they heard a voice came from the corner which made them all jump.

**'They are over by the window.'** With their hand they pointed towards where the unconscious bodies or Harry and Ron were.

Bill, Charlie, Fred, George and Arthur Weasley went to Harry and Ron. The rest went to the Death Eaters. But Dumbledore stood still watching the quivering figure. Dumbledore saw that the person had pulled themselves up to the wall and hugged their knees and spoke to the wizards by the Death Eaters.

**'There's no point. They are all dead,'** paused for a second **'including Voldermort.'**

They all turned to look at Dumbledore, shocked and confused. Never taking his eyes off of the now violently shaking figure. A few seconds passed then he spoke.

'She's right. Take Harry and Ron back to the school, I need to talk to Miss Granger and find out what happened here.'

At the mention of her name, Minerva McGonagal, Tonks, Lupin and Mad Eye Moody rushed to her side to check if she was ok. He watched as they got within 2 feet of her and they were sent flying back. He noticed that a red glow surrounded Hermione. She was still shaking and crying.

**'Take the boys back, now. I must speak with Miss Granger immediately.'**

They all turned to leave, levitating Ron and Harry infront of them. Minerva McGonagal gave a backward glance to Hermione and Albus, confused and continued with the rest of the order. He continued to watch her, he could hear sobbing. He went over and sat down beside her. The red glow had gone and now all that was left was a vulnerable yet very powerful young witch, to scared and confused to speak.

**'What happened Hermione?'**

Dumbledore was no fool, he knew that ancient magic now flowed through her blood and it had something to do with this house and the fact that she was muggle-born. He knew that she didn't understand what happened and that she was crying too much to bring herself to tell him what happened. She continued to cry with her knees in her chest.

**'I I I did it, I I I killed t t them. The Death Eaters, V v v Voldermort. I k k killed them.'**

She put her hand to her face and cried. He rubbed her back and tried to comfort her. It was no use, she continued to cry.

'I'm a murderer.'

He knew that this was not good, he had to get her to accept that the power she had now acquired was a gift and not a curse. She was a good witch and not a murderer. She had just saved the whole wizarding race and well and the muggle world. Everybody owed her so much. She had also saved her two best friends from death, when they weren't even talking to her. That showed true courage and bravery. She was a hero and should be remembered as one, but now she thought of herself as a murderer she wasn't going to snap out of that thought easily. He had to convince her if it was one of the last things he did. There was no way that he could let one of the most powerful witches of all time, shut her self away from the rest of the world. It would be so much worse for her if she did.

END FLASHBACK

Sighing he turned away from the mirror and was startled to find a women in his office. He chuckled and turned towards her.

**'You've been watching her again haven't you Albus?'**

'Yes Minerva I have. I'm worried about her and afraid for her.'

'I no, as do i. She shouldn't have to deal with this on her own. If only her parents weren't killed a week after that night, then maybe she would be ok now.'

'Give her time. She'll deal with it in her own time. Perhaps if her parent's weren't killed so soon after then yes, she might have accepted her power as a gift and not a curse. But all we can do is watch over her.'

'O, Albus shes been through so much and all on her own, what makes you think she can accept it and return to us?'

'I have faith in her.'

'It's been so hard on her, especially her parent's death. I was there Albus, at the funeral. She had no one. Nobody that really loved her.'

Her eyes began to fill with tears.

**'I watched her Albus, in my cat form. She stood around their graves, her relatives where all muttering 'poor girl' but none of them cared for her, none of them loved her. It started to rain and she was there alone. Again.'**

Tears came down her cheeks

**'I I I saw as she began to cry, sh sh she had two white roses in her hand a a and stood between the two open graves. She d d dropped one in each and fell to her knees. On the floor she began to sob. I I I cried with her, Albus I could feel her pain.'**

She put her face in her hands and continued.

**'It was raining and I could still see her crying.'**

She paused to gather herself and Dumbledore sat down beside her.

**'She blames her self for the deaths you know Albus. When she was crying by the graves, she kept saying _'I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. This is all my fault, if I never went to that school then this would have never happened. You never wanted me to go but I wouldn't listen and I'm sorry. If I had listen to you and done what you wanted then you would still be here with me. I wouldn't be alone. It's not fair. It's my fault and I'm sorry. Mum, I love you so much and you never deserved to have me as a daughter. You should have someone who would have made you proud instead you got someone that has brought shame on the family. I'm sorry. I'll try and make things better I promise. I love you so much, believe me I do. I swear I'm never going to hurt another person as long as I live. I can't loose them to. Mum, I'm sorry, you were there for me through everything and I never thanked you. Dad, daddy, I'm so sorry. I should have listen to you and gone to a regular school and made you proud but I've failed you, I never meant for any of this to happen. I was just trying to save two people I love but instead I loose the two people I love the most in the entire world. I promise I'll always be your little girl. I'll always be Maya daddy I promise. It's my fault, I should be the one that is lying there. I'm sorry. You don't have to worry about me bringing any more shame on the family I promise. God, why did you take them from me? What did they do to deserve death? Why did you have to leave me on my own? I love you both so much, please forgive me.' _Albus this was just too much for me.'**

They both sat in silence with tears coming down their cheeks. Something caught the headmaster's eye in the mirror**_._ **He slowly made his way over to the mirror and was surprised at what he saw

'Shit.'

Dumbledore never swore. Ever.

McGonagal looked up at the headmasters cursing.

**'Albus what is it? Is it Hermione? What's happened?**

She made her way of to the mirror, gasping, she covered her mouth at what she saw.

'**Death Eaters, DEATH EATERS! Albus we have to help her. We must go to her'**

'No,'

McGonagal looked at him confused.

**'No we cannot help her, but yes we will go to her.'**

With that Albus lowered the wards on the school and the two apperated outside Hermione's house.

They could hear screaming. They knew the screams didn't belong to Hermione. McGonagal made her way to the house but Dumbledore stopped her and pulled her behind a wall.

**'No, she must do this alone.'**

'But Albus there are 10 Death Eaters'

No sooner had these words been said 3 of the Death Eaters came running out of the house and apperated. Just before they apperated Dumbledore heard one of them mutter

**'I'm gunna get that mudblood bitch if it the last thing I do.'**

Everything went quiet and the two got up from their hiding place.

**'The ministry will know that Hermione has used her powers and the Death Eater's attack, they will be here any second.'**

Just then 3 ministry officials apperated next to them. They nodded towards Albus as their welcome and the five of them made there way into the house. Turning into the front room they were shocked at what they saw.

SMASH!

'What the fuck was that?'

Slowly getting out of bed, from being woken up by a loud smash, Hermione crept to her bedroom door. She couldn't hear anything but could see figures moving from downstairs. She glanced at her bedroom clock and it read 07:00am. She had only got an hour and a half of peaceful sleep. She made her way down the stairs quietly, she got to the bottom stairs and couldn't see anything. Someone grabbed her from behind. Trying to scream but no sound came out, they covered her mouth and held her arms down.

'**Well well well if it isn't potter's mudblood friend.'**

Beatrix Lengstange came out from the shadows with a murderous glint in her eye.

**'You killed my lord and now we are going to kill you.'**

Lengstange walked up to Hermione, stood before he and tilted her head.

'Pity. For a mudblood your quiet a pretty girl.'

Lengstange pulled her hand back and slapped her hard across her face. A thought struck Hermione that they didn't know about her power so she could use that against them, but for now she had to keep her temper down. Lengstange spat in her face calling her a waste of space and a nothing more that a dirty mudblood. She was thrown into her front room and hit her head on the coffee table making her slightly dazed. The Death Eaters came following in. Hermione laughed

**'What are you laughing at bitch?'**

**'You really have no idea what I'm capable of do you? I didn't kill your lord on a lucky curse! Didn't it even cross your mind that I'm remotely powerful?'**

'You? Powerful? You haven't even finished school! How can you even think that you can survive against 10 of the dark lord's followers?

'What dark lord? I killed him!'

The Death Eaters didn't no what to do. They were confused. They just stared at her.

**'You killed the dark lord in a freak accident!'**

Laughing, Hermione raised her hand and sent Lenstange flying back against a wall knocking over 3 of the death eaters. She screamed but was knocked out unconscious. 3 of them ran for it. Hermione turned to the remaining Death Eaters.

She heard footsteps outside the door and somebody pushed the door open. She took no notice. She could hardly hear somebody shout

'Hermione no!'

But the red glow that surrounded her blocked out that sound. She moved her hand from above her head she brought it down across her chest. Four of the death eaters took in a breath and collapsed on the floor. Now Hermione flicked her hand and sent a curse flying to the death eaters in a red blur. The same curse that Voldermort had sent to her the night at the Mansion. This sent the remaining death eaters against her stone wall, she could see some blood came from their head. She didn't kill them she knew that she had just knocked them out. She looked down at them and had a little smirk on her face.

**'Not powerful, huh?'**

She was breathing heavily and the red glow left. She looked at the people on her floor and tears came down her face. She had attacked 7 Death Eaters. She turned to the doorway when she heard somebody say her name. She saw her Headmaster, her head of house and three official people. They stared at each other. Then it hit her, se had just attacked 7 people and nearly killed them. This realisation must have shown on her face because the second she thought it Dumbledore said

'O god,'

'No. Hermione this wasn't your fault, you were protecting your self.'

He and McGonagal made their way over to her. Tears were coming down Hermione's face.

**'O god, I nearly killed seven people, I'm going to Azkaban for this for sure'**

She sat on her sofa and buried her face in her hands. McGonagal sat down beside her and tried to comfort her while Dumbledore put a charm around the unconscious Death Eaters so they couldn't escape.

'Hermione? You're not going to Azkaban, what makes you think that? You did nothing wrong, you stopped yourself from being killed, right Albus?'

He didn't say anything. He couldn't look at her, he turned to the ministry officials who had grave looks on their faces. They had just watched Hermione Granger attack 7 Death Eaters and they knew the consequences. Their saviour had been warned not to use her wandless magic against anybody, if she did then she would be arrested. That's why they were there. They looked at Albus who turned away.

**'Albus, surly not?'**

'I'm sorry Hermione, I will fight for you at the trial but there is nothing I can do.'

They both turned their tear soaked faces towards him, he had a tear in his eye. Dumbledore has always had an influence over the ministry, he would do everything he could to convince them she was not dangerous, but with the downfall of Voldermort the ministry weren't taking any chances with unexplainable powers. Hermione shook her head.

**'No,'**

The officials made their way over to her with their wands raised. She turned to face them.

**'We're sorry Miss Granger, we wish we didn't have to do this to you.'**

'You think you can use your wands on her? Did you not just see what she did? Idiots!'

Anger spread across her face and her red glow appeared. They back off slightly, frightened.

**'No, I won't go with you. I can't no.'**

She moved her hand, she made a swiping motion across their chests which made the officials become unconscious. Dumbledore and McGonagal made no attempt to stop her.

**'But Hermione, where will you go?'**

'I'm not sure, I'll no when I get there. Use that mirror of yours Dumbledore to watch me if you wish, but I doubt that you'll be able to. Please do not come after me. Do not tell anyone where I am, even if you figure it out. Please?'

There was an urgent plea in her voice, she had to get away before they woke up. It wasn't a powerful curse but it gave her enough time to get away. She looked between McGonagal and Dumbledore waiting her reply.

**'Be safe Hermione.'**

'Thank you.'

With a sigh of relief, she ran from the room and up to hers, she threw all of her clothes in her trunk, she left all of her school supplies behind apart from her potions ingredients. She didn't know whether she would need them. She packed her wand and her Gringgots key. She took basic toiletries and turned to her bedside table. She hesitated about packing the picture of Harry and Ron. Turning away she threw it in her trunk with the one of her mum and dad. She made her trunk feather light and shrank it so it fit in her pocket. He skill in Transfiguration made her able to change her clothes from blue shorts and white tank top to tight black jeans, Pink tank top and Pink hoody. She knew any minute that they would awake and she would have to get out of there fast. She could hear voices as she came down the stairs but they belonged to McGonagal and Dumbledore

'I will not let her go Albus, no, she can't be on her own. You saw how she was this morning. Somebody will recognise her. Then what? The Death Eaters will find her again, shes in a lot of danger.'

'Not if she leaves the country Minerva, shes a smart witch, she can take care of herself, just look at what she did at the Riddle Mansion, and here! If she needs help she can find us. I've already thought of a place she can go.'

Hermione came into the room. It upset her to hear them talk about her, even if it was that they were worried. They mentioned the Riddle Mansion, which pained her to think about.

**'And where's that Dumbledore? I don't want to be found so I can't go anywhere you suggest. I have a place in mind don't worry. I can't tell you whether it is in the country or not but please don't worry. I beg of you also not to tell Harry and Ron that I've left. They will no, I no they will but please say you don't know.**

'Hermione, please don't go! Come back to Hogwart's, we can protect you there.'

'Professor McGonagal –'

'It's Minerva, Hermione please reconsider.

'Minerva, I can't I have to get away. I can't go to Hogwarts, not now not ever.'

People began to stir in the corner. She glanced over to them, then faced her headmaster.

**'I have to go,'**

She pulled out a tiny silver key from her pocket and handed it to Dumbledore.

**'This is my key to my vault, please take everything out and sent it with Fawks, change it to muggle money. He can find me I no he can. I can transfer my muggle account another time. Thank you for this Dumbledore.**

'Call me Albus Hermione.'

She gave him a small smile and turned to give him a brief hug and a kiss on the cheek.

**'Thankyou Albus.'**

She turned to McGonagal, who had tears down her face.

**'Minerva, please don't worry I will be fine.'**

She gave her a brief hug and a kiss as well and ran from the room just as officials woke up. They heard a faint pop and knew she had gone.

**'Where is she Albus?'**

Dumbledore turned to the men standing up. With a chuckle in his voice he answered them.

**'Shes gone, I don't know where and if she doesn't want to be found then trust me she won't. you'll be wasting your time looking.'**

Scowling the left the house and apperated back to the Ministry with the Death Eaters.

**'I'm going to tell the order that she has gone.'**

'No, Minerva she doesn't want people looking for her.'

'She can't be on her own, at least tell the Weasley's and Harry.'

'Yes I am going to do that, but they can not go after her, it will only make things worse.'

After a few minutes of silence Dumbledore heard McGonagal sobbing.

**'S sh shes really gone, hasn't she.'**

'Yes, she has, come now Minerva, did you really think I won't know where she will be? I will find her don't worry and we will keep and close eye on her without her knowing or the ministry and I won't tell Harry or Ron. Come now we better tell Harry and Ron.'

'Will she come back to Hogwarts?'

'I hope so Minerva, I hope so.'

With that they apperated outside the Weasley house.

A.N i hope you liked it. please RnR!


	3. Chapter3 Finding out the truth twice and...

****

Chapter Three – Finding out the truth twice and home again?

'YOU WHAT?'

Both Harry and Ron screamed at Dumbledore.

**'HOW COULD YOU BE SO STUPID TO LET HER GO?'**

'Now Ron, that is no way to speak to your headmaster!'

**'Sorry mum.'**

'Molly it's ok, I understand that Ron and Harry are upset. You need to understand that she had no other option. It was either run or face being arrested by the Ministry.'

'She could have gone back to Hogwarts, it's safe there.'

'Yes Harry we did offer her that, but she doesn't think she can face going back there. It has a lot of bad memories for her.'

The boys looked away. They knew that he meant the bad time they had given her, her being bulliedand her cutting herself amoung other things.

**'We must ask you NOT to go looking for her that's to everyone. Molly, Arthur we know that you're worried about her but please don not look for her or worry about her. She assures me that she will be safe.'**

'BUT YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE SHE IS! HOW CAN SHE BE SAFE IF SHE IS ON HER OWN AND DOESN'T NO ANYBODY!'

Everybody turned to see who had spoken. Bill, Charlie, Fred, George and Ginny were standing in the doorframe. To their surprise it was Bill that had shouted at Dumbledore. They all gave Bill a curious look.

**'She is like out little sister, just like Harry is like our little brother. She has no family now and we look out for her.'**

'Wait, she has no family?'

Bill ignored Harry and Ron's confused comment and continued.

'**When one of us is hurt, we all are. It's just like this. She needs our help. She needs people around her, people that love her and you let her run away to god knows where on her own. Dumbledore you are a wonderful yet strange man, you have pulled some very strange things and they have always worked out in the end, but I fail to see a positive outcome on this. I'm going to the Ministry, see if I can find something to help me find her.'**

With that Bill and Charlie Weasley apperated to the Ministry. Fred and George also left, but they went to find some map, which would help them find any person with magical abilities in the country. Sighing the old man turned back to Harry and Ron.

****

'3 weeks ago, her parents were killed by some of the remaining Death Eaters. She didn't tell anybody what had happened, especially you two. The order knew of corse and I allowed her some time out to arrange and attend the funeral.'

'Why was she on her own? Why weren't we told? Ron, and me we could have helped her!'

'You hurt her pretty bad. I'm surprised you didn't hear about it, it was all around the school. The Slytherin's made sure of that. McGonagal kept an eye on her, she had some relatives there but no one else.'

Harry and his head in his heads, you couldn't tell if she was crying or not. Ron had tears in his eyes and was looking at Dumbledore. Mr Weasley put his arm around Mrs Weasley and she was silently crying. Ginny ran up to her mum and hugged her. McGonagal who had stayed silent through out this spoke up.

**'I no this has come as a shock, it has hit her pretty bad. That's why she has shut her self out from everybody and everything. She doesn't want to cause anybody else any pain or hurt anyone. She says she can't take that risk. It was her wishes that you didn't know a thing, but we thought it best that you knew. She doesn't want to be found, if she did then she would have told us where she went. You know Hermione, if she doesn't want to be found then she won't be. Please convince the others that it's a waste of time. We don't even know if shes in the country-'**

The second she said this she regretted it.

**'YOU WHAT?'**

'SHE COULD BE ANYWHERE IN THE WHOLE BLODDY WORLD!?'

'Ron! Minerva you can't be serious, you let her go and she could be anywhere between here and Australia! She could be in more danger on her own! Minerva you should have insisted that she went to Hogwarts or here, it would have been better than nothing.'

'Molly please, Minerva said that rather harshly, I have an idea where she went, but it's only and idea and before you ask, no I will not tell you. She does NOT want people to look for her, you must respect her wishes.'

The arguments continued and Albus refused to say where he thought that she was. Fred and George came back with lots of old intruments and ignored Dumbledore's attempts to tell them that they shouldn't do it. He left shortly after with Minerva.

Charlie and Bill came back and said that the ministry were also searching for her, they didn't want to arrest her any more they just wanted her back in their world and make sure that se was safe. She has given the magical community quite a scare by upping and leaving. Charlie and Bill were going to scan the continent if they had to, they will find her. At this Fred and George said that they would join them too and left the map searching to Harry and Ron. They wanted to search with them but Mr Weasley insisted that if they search then they must find other means than joining them. Ginny was helplessly trying to comfort her sobbing mother while Mr Weasley was called to the ministry to help with their search.

3 weeks had passed since Hermione Granger had left, she thought about going to stay in her parent's house in Sydney, nobody would be there and not many people new that place existed. The she remembered that her parent's rented it out to people in the summer. She thought about her other relatives. Most of them lived in England but two of her cousins lived in Paris. That's where she wanted to go. She had no other option.

Dumbledore thought that Hermione would go to her parent's summerhouse, but she never went there. He tried several possibilities, but couldn't find her. He was starting to get worried when he hadn't found her or heard from her in 3 weeks. He tried to locate her in his mirror but she had put a charm around herself so all he could see was white fog.

**'Have you tried all of her relatives?'**

'Yes, all that where there at the funeral. Minerva I'm worried.'

'Albus, what are we going to do! How are we going to find her?'

'Wait, her cousins-'

Looking in the bathroom mirror of her cousin's flat, Hermione Granger was getting ready to go out. She changed her appearance somewhat and spent most of her savings on new clothes. She couldn't run the risk of being recognised by anyone. Her hair was the same length but she had coloured it so now it had blonde streaks in it (thanks to some useful charms.) She coloured her eyes so they were blue and wore contact lenses instead of her glasses. (She didn't wear glasses often, just for reading ect.) Her complexion was always flawless and didn't need any foundation or that sort of makeup. She had a nice tan now, which made her eyes shine. She got her original curvy figure back and wore a lot of 'clubbing/beach/summer' clothes. Her wardrobe was now lots of little tight skirts, little clubbing top and well as tank tops. She had a lot of bikinis. She got her belly button pierced and two tattoos. She got one of a lion on her hipbone and the word 'magic' in Latin written on the small of her back.

Hermione now went out at night, clubbing and coming back in the early hours to sleep. She went with her cousin but usually came back alone. Her cousin was 2 years older than she was, so she usually picked up a guy and came back the next day.She got on pretty well with her cousin but she wasn't her 'friend.' She didn't know anything about Hermione's other life or the pain she gone through in the last year.

'**10 minutes Maya and then we're leaving!'**

Her cousin shouted at her through the door in her funky French accent, which made Hermione jump a little. Her cousin told her that Maya was a better name for her, so she got stuck with it.

Maya pulled on her pleated short black skirt and got her red and black FCUK top that read 'FCUK with me and die.' She changed her belly bar to a red and black swirled crystal. She pulled on her black knee high boots and applied some black eye liner, black eye dust and some lip gloss. She shook her head that made her hair fall down to her back and she was ready.

Out side the club 'Black cat' Maya and Lauren (her cousin) were being 'eyed up' by some cute French boys. Lauren was the kind of girl that didn't date a guy. She would 'date and dump,' just having fun with guys. She had been hurt in the past, which made her mate the whole of the male species.

****

'Hey ladies fancy a drink with me and my friend here? We've been looking for some gorgeous girls to have a good time with. Anything grabs your attention?'

'What make you think that you are worthy of me and my cousins attention? Yes, we are gorgeous and no we ain't slag's so run along to your mummy and leave us the hell alone.'

'What's with you bitch?'

Maya walked up to the guy and grabbed his man hood. He looked shocked and her cousin thought it was hilarious.

****

'What with me? Guys like you think you think that every girl is easy and is just going to throw them selves at you. News flash! We aren't all that desperate. So go find some skanky tramp who will have you and leave us the fuck alone?'

She let go of the guy and turned away. Hurt, the guys turned away and Lauren turned to Maya.

**'Maya! I'm impressed, I would have never have thought that you would have said or done anything like that!'**

'Yeah well this is the new me, I'm a bitch with attitude!'

Laughing the girls turned in to the club. She would turn 17 in October but her new look made her a lot older. The club played a lot of R 'n' B music. They parted ways and Maya made her way to the bar. She could Hear 'Usher, Yeah' and watched as the couples grind and wined on each other. A guy about her age noticed her from across the room. He was 6'2 and very toned. He had spiky blonde hair and blue-y grey eyes. Maya didn't notice and turned to the bar man.

**'What can I get such a lovely lady such as yourself?'**

'A freak in the bed.' They bar man's eyebrows were almost hidden by his hair. Laughing at him Maya said

**'It's a shot of vodka, shot of rum, twist of lemon and lime in a citrus glass.'**

'Yes ma'am, you certainly know what you want!'

'That 3Euro please.'

'I'll get that.'

Hermione turned to see who had paid for her drink, but before she could see his face, he told the bartender to keep an eye on their drinks and she was pulled onto the dance floor. He snaked his hands around her waist as she started to mover her hips to the music. A new song came on 'Christina Millian, dip it low.'

She put her hand behind his neck and his rested his chin on her shoulder.

__

'Dip it low, pick it up slow, roll it all around'

Their bodies fitted together perfectly and they knew each other's movements. Then Maya made it interesting. With her back to him she was grinding to the ground. Her arse moving slowly then fast, she got near the ground

__

'I'm gunna show you how to make your man say ooohhh'

Smoothly she wound her self up, everybody in the club was watching them. They'd never seen to people dance like this before. It was like they were communicating their needs through dance. No words were said between the two, the just continued to dance all night. Their drinks lay forgotten. This was the first time in two months that Hermione had totally forgotten about her life, what she was and her past. Neither of them knew each other's names, where they came from, they knew nothing of each other. But there was a connection between them. She turned and put her hands around his neck. They stared into each other's eyes. They both thought the same thing. _There is something familiar about these eyes. What are they? _That thought was soon wiped from both of their minds. They couldn't concentrate on anything but each other. Both their pasts lay forgotten. There were only two people in the world. It was all about her and her mystery partner.

He couldn't believe that this girl could dance like this. Even if she was in this club she was no older than he was. Defiantly no older then 17. He didn't no a girl this age that could dance like this, especially where he came from. He could see that she had two tattoos. One was a lion on her hipbone and the other was the word 'magic' in Latin. They intrigued him, he wanted to know why these particular tattoos. Moving his hand across her tattoo he could feel her shiver slightly.

**'Why these?'**

'I can't hear you'

He pulled her away from the dance floor and away from the crowds, they sat at a table, not noticing a strange couple behind them.

**'Dray.'**

He extended his hand for her to shake, he wanted to know who she was. There was something about her that drew him to her. He introduced himself as 'Dray' but that wasn't his real name. His real name was Draco Malfoy. He didn't tell anybody in France who he was, he just wanted to be alone from the magical community for a while. He still read the paper to keep up with the news but since his father was killed by _her_ he had to get away. His mother wanted nothing to do with him. He didn't care his parent's never really loved him. In a way he was thankful to Hermione Granger for setting him free. He could never admit it. She shook his hand.

**'Maya.'**

'Maya, that's a beautiful name. So Maya, how come you have a lion tattoo and the word 'magic' on your back?'

'You speak Latin?'

'Yeah my father taught me before he died.'

'O, I'm sorry.'

'It's ok, really, but please tell me about those tattoos. What made you get those?'

'I'm not sure really. The lion represents my personality _apparently._ It also represents history of- my erm past.

She was going to say history of her house, but then he would wonder what she meant by house. She looked away from him, she had just brought up Hogwarts. Somewhere she didn't want to go or even remember. It had to many painful memories for her. That part of her life made her miserable and only caused her pain.

**'Magic, well that used to mean something about me. It doesn't any more. It used to represent a part about me, but well lets just say that part of my died along time ago.'**

This was so strange for him. Lion – Gryffindor house. They were all put into the houses closest to their personalities. And Magic, used to be part of her life? Was she a witch? He could tell she didn't want to press it any further so she left it. He looked at her, she was looking at her hands. Something was paining her, he could see it in her pail blue eyes, she was hiding something, perhaps about her past, or about her. He put his finger under her chin and lifted her head so her eyes met his. They stared at each other, he could see that in her eyes there were flickers of amber. He'd never seen eyes like these.

**'There's something about you Maya, something hidden. I think it's got something to do with these tattoo's aswell.'**

'How- what makes you think that?'

He moved closer to her, so now his legs were spread and she was placed in between. She looked down and he grabbed her hands. His thumbs were moving slowly over the tops of her hands.

**'I can feel it, there is something about you that draws me to you, I feel I've known you years and at the same time I don't know you at all.'**

She looked up into his eyes, it felt that his eyes were searching her soul. She felt a shiver down her spin, not a bad shiver but something of excitement. He brought his hand up and brushed a stray piece of hair behind her ear. She tensed up and he chuckled.

**'You seem so familiar but I can't place it, and you don't strike me as the nervous type.'**

'What makes you think I'm nervous?'

With that she ran her hand up his thigh and stopped just centimetres away from his sensitive place. He looked at her and she had a mischievous grin on her face. Two can play at that game he thought and he placed his hands around her waist and moved her so she was sitting sideways on his lap. She put her hands around his neck to steady herself.

**'What did you do –'**

He didn't let her finish. He captured her lips with his. This felt do right, so natural. He lightly bit her bottom lip, asking her for access, She willingly agreed. Their tongues danced in union just like they did on the dancefloor. They knew what each other wanted. He slid one of his hands around her back and up the back of her shirt tracing little circles on her back. His other way slowly making it's way up her thigh. One of her hands moved to behind his neck and pulled him forward to deepen the kiss. The other one was on his chest. She could feel his rock hard muscles beneath his shirt. She could also feel the fastening pace of his heart. He was excited and so was she. Someone then bumped into the back of Dray, causing him knock forward. Maya would have been sent flying if Dray didn't have a tight grip around waist.

**'Thanks.'**

'No problem.'

Her cheeks were flushed and her hair wasn't as perfect as it was at the beginning of the night. He was catching his breath and his cheeks to were flushed. She turned and looked at him and asked him a question ****

**'You never told me if you have any tattoos?'**

'Erm,'

He did have a tattoo, a mark more than a tattoo. The dark mark. He regrets getting it. His father made him a Christmas last year.

**'No.'**

'You hesitated.'

'No I didn't.'

The sleeves of his shirt were pulled up and his eyes flickered towards it. She saw this and her eyes to looked to the mark, she did see a glimpse of it and reached for his arm.

**'Come on show me, it can't be that bad.'**

'Only if you knew' He mumbled.

**'Ok but it doesn't mean anything, my father wanted me to get it for my birthday last year.'**

He showed her his arm. Her eyes widened in shock and put her hand to her mouth. He didn't notice and pulled his arm away.

**'See nothing special.'**

She couldn't believe he was a Wizard. She couldn't believe he was a Death Eater! How did they find her? She had to get away now. She jumped up from his lap and made for the door. Just before she could leave she felt someone grab her wrist.

**'What's wrong?'**

'Erm, nothing I just have to go.'

'You're lying, you have to go suddenly because you saw my tattoo-'

He realised that she knew what the tattoo was.

**'You, you know about the dark mark don't you?'**

'Of corse I fucking well know! It was only a matter of time before you lot found me, so if you want to leave here alive I suggest you let me leave.'

'Are you a witch? What do you mean 'before you lot found me?''

'Yes I'm a witch- you have no idea who I am do you?'

'Maya, what are you talking about?'

'Dray, let go!'

'Not until you tell me what's going on.'

She looked at him confused, He didn't go and look for her, and he found her on the off chance.

**'You weren't sent to look for me?'**

'No, Maya tell me what you're talking about.'

'I'm the most wanted witch in the wizard community for taking down the dark lord.'

'That's ridiculous, the witch that brought down him was Hermione Grang-'

It hit him. It all made more sense. The tattoos and what she said about them. Her eyes and why they were familiar, The fact he knew her but didn't at the same time. She was Hermione. The one that rid the world of the dark lord and his idiot Death Eaters. (He was given the mark but never followed him, his father forced him to get it.) He dropped her wrist and watched her leave the club with tears in her eyes. He was in shock, he couldn't believe what just happened. The person that he felt that connection with, the person that made him forget about his life and his past was the one person that had taken away his family in the first place. He couldn't let her go that easy. He had to explain to her and make her see that he wasn't a Death Eater, but would she run again when she found out who he truly was? The person that he tortured for six years because she was a muggle-born. One third of the 'golden trio.' All these things that his father brought him up to hate. He didn't, he had his own views.

She ran down the street, tears in her eyes. The only person in two months that she was comfortable around was not only a wizard, but also a Death Eater. She couldn't take it all in. She had such a connection with him and he was one of the people that wanted her dead. He made her feel so free, he made her forget her life.

He had to find her again and find out. He had to know her. She was incredible. He did notice that the two people sitting behind him moved seconds after Maya did. He wasn't going to think about it now. He was thinking how he could find her.

She could hear someone call her.

**'Hermione wait!'**

She stopped, only one person in France knew her name was Hermione and that was her cousin Lauren. It defiantly wasn't her calling her. Turning around she saw Dumbledore and McGonagal were behind her

**'How, how did you find me? I could have been anywhere in the world, Anywhere in Paris! But you came to this club? How?'**

'Hermione, I may be old but give me some credit. I figured that you would stay with a relative and these were the only ones that didn't live in England.'

'Shit, does any one else no? Of corse they do what am I saying! They've been searching for the person that attacked 7 Death Eaters and 3 ministry officials, I'm surprised it took them this long. I bet the whole ministry no! I mean if Death Eaters can find me in the middle of Paris then who can't! I should have gone to Sydney. Shit.'

'Hermione breath, I don't know how the Death Eater found you. Back home they have all been caught. This one must have got through some how, I'm not even sure who it was. You're NOT a murderer, you were protecting yourself against those animals and you're a hero. Yes, the ministry are looking for you but they just want you back safe, they are worried about you we all are.'

'No, they're worried about who I might hurt next.'

'Look please can you come back to Hogwarts with us? We can protect you there. Please Hermione.'

She had never seen her headmaster so desperate before. He was right they could protect her there, but did she really want to go back to a place that for the last year only brought her pain? Only bad memories were there. But she couldn't stay here. Not if Death Eathers are here. She could go back to Hogwarts until she thought of something else to do. She turned and faced them.

**'Don't patronise me Albus. I know what I am and what I was. I'm a murderer, I've ruined some many lives and I'm not sure that I can face them yet. I can't face anybody yet. I'm not a good witch, I can't control my curse and that puts many people in danger, including yourselves. The old Hermione has gone. She has gone. Long gone. Dead. I'm nothing anymore, I have nothing and no one. I'm a murderer.'**

Tears where coming down her face. McGonagal was getting angry with her.

****

'**Hermione! You're a hero, you saved the wizard world and the Muggle world. We owe you everything! You will learn to accept your power and control it. You're a very powerful witch. It is NOT a curse, it's a gift. You were meant to have it.'**

She began to glow red, but just before she did, she was pushed into a dark ally way so nobody could see her. They stepped away from her. McGonagal and tears in eyes and Hermione was hysterical. Dumbledore was staying calm and listening to what they were both saying.

****

'I don't want it! I don't want any of this! You should not have followed me here! You should have left me alone, I've been alone for the last year and I handled it fine! I'm a danger to people and a murderer. This is not a gift it's a curse. It's left me with nothing! I'm dead, my Parent's are dead and I no I'm only going to kill more! I I I Don't want this any more, I want my old life back. I want, I want my mum, I want my dad!'

She fell to her knees, tears just fell from her eyes.

**'How is this a gift if all it's brought me if pain? I've hurt to many people and I can't do that anymore. You know what it was like to be on the receiving end of this and that's was before it grew! No I can't, this is a curse and will only bring me pain. It lost me my parents and made me a murderer'**

'O Hermione.'

McGonagal joined her on the floor and put her arm around her. The glow had faded and she began to breathe properly. She turned to McGonagal.

**'Hermione died for good the night her parents did.'**

She continued to cry in her hands and McGonagal turned to Albus.

**'Hermione, if you come back to Hogwarts then you can figure out what you want to do from there. It is far too dangerous for you to stay here. You need to be somewhere safe. I'm not asking you to come back and join the school, I'm not asking you to see anyone from the ministry or Harry and Ron. You can do anything you wish and we will support you in that. If you get back and think you can't stay then we can find you somewhere else, All we are asking you is that you come back to somewhere safe, where you can clear your head.'**

She looked at her headmaster confused.

**'Why are you doing this for me Albus?'**

'You are like a Grand daughter to me Hermione, I want to make sure that you are safe and happy. If you are not then I will try and help you, I want to try and help you to understand your power. You are one of the most talented witches I've seen in 50 years and I do not want you to waste your gift. Hermione if it wasn't for you I could be dead right now, I don't care what you say, you saved thousands of witches, wizards and muggles, to me that is a great thing and should be rewarded.'

She gave him a weak smile and for that moment he thought that he had got through to her. Perhaps changed her opinion on herself.

**'Ok, ill come back to Hogwarts for the time being. I can't promise I will stay for long, or rejoin the school, but I will come back. Thank you both so much, I no I said that I wish you never followed me, but if you didn't then I might have killed somebody else.'**

With that the three of them apperated back to Hermione's flat. Dumbledore wrote her cousin a note to explain that she had gone home and to thank her for taking her in. He left her some money for her hospitality, even though Hermione was insisting that he didn't. McGonagal helped Hermione pack all of her things and make it feather light. She got changed into some tight fitting blue jeans and a white strapless top. When she was ready she took a deep breath and apperated infront of the Hogwarts Gates.


	4. Chapter4: Smiles, voices and Snape

disclaimer: if you dont no by now u shld! i do NOT own harry potter or any character featured in the books.

**Chapter Four – smiles, voices and Snape.**She looked at the gates, all memories good and bad invaded her mind. Dumbledore pushed open them open and the three of them walked through. They walked a few metres and she came to the quidditch pitch. She could hear all the laughing and jokes of all the other students. She could see her self, younger and happier, without a care in the world jumping up and down cheering Gryffindor on. She could remember how happy she was when Harry caught his first snitch, when Gryffindor won the cup. A tear escaped from her eye as she remembered how happy she was. She didn't have to worry about anything, taking a deep breath she continued behind the two.

The approached the Forbidden Forest and Hagrid's cabin. She thought of all the cups of tea and cakes that the trio shared there. All the adventures that they had always seemed to involve Hagrid one way or another. She similed to herself as she remembered the time Harry and her rushed to Hagrid when Ron was bringing up slugs. She turned away, the memory was too painful for her to remember. She didn't want to think of the old Hermione, too many things had changed since then.

Hagrid was watching from his cabin when he saw Dumbledore and McGonagal come through the gates. He saw a young girl behind them, he assumed this was Hermione. He knew that they had gone to rescue her. She had changed a lot, he almost didn't recognise her. He ran out of his cabin and shouted to them.

**'Hermione!'**

She turned to see that Hagrid called her. She saw him approaching, and an odd sense of relief and happiness spread through her.

**'Hagrid!'**

He came towards her ad scooped her up and in a bone-crushing hug.

**'O, you're back 'mione, good ta see ya! I'm so 'appy you're safe. Been so worried see, thank god your back!'**

'Hagrid, I can't breathe!'

'O, sorry 'mione. I'm jus' so 'appy to see ya.

She let a tear escape from her eyes, these were tears of happiness. She had missed Hagrid so much and was glad to see him.

**'Don' cry 'mione, I'm sorry didn't mean to hurt ya.'**

'No, it's not that. I'm just so happy to see you.'

She jumped up and gave him a hug. He was surprised by this, but responded. Dumbledore and McGonagal smiled behind her, this was the first time that they saw her happy. This was a good sign thought Dumbledore. If she saw all the people that loved her then maybe, just maybe this could bring her back.

**'Hermione we must get back up to the castle.'**

Coming out of the hug, she smiled at Hagrid.

**'Ok, Hagrid are you coming to dinner tonight?'**

'O, yes I am, I will see ya then 'mione. I'm so 'appy you're back.'

'I'll see you later Hagrid.'

They made their way back up to the castle. Hermione wiped away her tears and smiled. Seeing Hagrid made her happy. He had been there for her last year when nobody would talk to her. He had seen her cry over Harry and Ron and how they were treating her. He had helped her get rid of bruises after she got beaten up and had just been there for her when she needed someone. She owed Hagrid a lot.

Reaching the castle double doors, Hermione looked around the hall, she be lying if she didn't say she missed being here, but recently she wished that she was never accepted here.

She could hear a voice, it was telling her that she doesn't belong here. She didn't deserve to be around these people, she was a murderer.

'**You are a murderer, you killed people and ruined innocent people's life, you don't deserve to live. You killed your parents.'**

Hermione kept turning around scared, she wanted to know where this voice was coming from. Her breathing got heavier and she started to sweat. McGonagal noticed that she wasn't following them any more. She turned around to she a very distressed Hermione. Hermione put her hand over her ears and closed her eyes.

'Stop, Stop. I didn't mean to. I'm sorry I didn't mean it. Please stop!'

'Hermione, what is it? What's wrong?'

The voices faded and Hermione looked up at a very worried McGonagal and Dumbledore.

'I, I heard voices, I'm not sure where they were coming from, they kept telling me it was my fault my parents were dead.'

**'Hermione, come to the dungeons, we can get some dreamless sleep potion for you, then you can get settled in your new room and if you want we can send a house elf with your dinner, unless you want to join us in the great hall?'**

She didn't give a response, she just nodded. They helped her up, leaving her bags behind so a house elf could take them up for her. They lead her down a familiar path to her potion classroom. They stopped outside and Dumbledore knocked and walked in.

'Aahhh Albus, Minerva. I was just coming to find you, I wanted to talk –'

He stopped when she noticed that there were four people in the room instead of three, He stared at the young girl, something about her was familiar but he couldn't place it.

**'Er, I'm sorry Dumbledore was there something that you wanted?'**

'O, yes. Do you have any dreamless sleep potion in storage? If not I will check with madam Pomfrey.'

'Yes, I have some here. Can I ask why you want it?'

'Well Miss Granger has been quite distressed lately and I think it best for her to have a full nights sleep.'

'Miss Granger?'

Then it clicked, it was Hermione he saw. That's why the girl looked familiar because it was his saviour. She had changed a lot. But it didn't matter, she had saved him. She didn't know it but the night she came to the Riddle mansion, he was there. Under his masked he watched her enter the room and deflect the curse. He was impressed, He knew she would be powerful but never knew how much. When she sent a curse to all of the death eaters he was effected but he never died. It caused him great pain but it didn't kill him. He told Dumbledore this and he was told that it was probably because he was wasn't evil, and was a death eater for a good cause, to fight against evil not with it. His dark mark had vanished after the curse and it was his second chance. He owed her everything. He turned to face Hermione. He didn't no how long her stared at her, Dumbledore cleared his throat to get his attention.

**'O, I'm sorry headmaster, I was lost in thought. Yes I'll get you that potion right away. How much do you want.'**

He hadn't addressed the question to the headmaster or Hermione. But it was Dumbledore that answered.

**'A week for now, but is it ok if Hermione comes and gets some more if she needs it?'**

He turned to face Hermione.

**'Yes of course, anything I can do to help, feel free to ask.'**

He handed her the potions and they both smiled weakly.

**'Thank you professor.'**

'School hasn't started yet Hermione, feel free to call me Serveres.'

She didn't like the way he was treating her, This was the special treatement she didn't want. He had tortured her for six years and all of a sudden he was being nice.

**'Why?'**

'I'm sorry?'

**'Why are you being so nice to me? I don't understand? After six years of misery why the sudden personality change?'**

He looked at her and she had a confused expression on her face. She knew that it was rude but she was sick of being polite to people. She was sick of people being nice to her.

**'Because Hermione, that night at the Riddle Mansion, instead of killing me, you released me. You saved me.'**

She rolled her eyes, She was sick of this. She wasn't a hero, she was a murderer and then sooner people realised that the better.

**'I only saved Ron and Harry that night. I killed 40 people.'**

'Yes Hermione you did kill 40 people, I'm not doubting that fact. However what you do not know is that you killed 39 Death Eaters and the dark lord. I survived. You helped me survive. You saved me.'

Hermione thought about this, what if it was true. She did save him, but she had no proof, how would she know? Then as if he read her mind he pulled up sleeve where his mark used to be and now there was nothing, nothing that could prove that he was ever a Death Eater, it was like his past had been washed away. Hermione looked up at him. She did save him. An odd feeling came across her, she wasn't sure what it was but it was good. She thought to herself that maybe she wasn't as evil as she thought. A tear formed in her eye. It wasn't a tear of pain or sorrow, it was a happiness tear again.

**'I, I'm not to sure what to say.'**

'There is no need to say anything, I just want to tell you that I'm forever in your debt. Hermione once you get the dark mark you are bound to the dark lord forever. You have got me out of that and saved me from a life of prejudice. I can't always explain to people that I was a spy, and now you saved me I don't have to. You have given me a new start, a new life, and I thank you.'

That happiness faded away and she snapped back to reality, the reality where she was a murderer.

'Thank you prof- Serveres, it was very kind of you to say that. Even if I do not believe it my

self. I can not explain what happened that night and I can not explain what happened to you. One thing however I can explain is, I killed 40 people that night and that makes me evil. Anybody who kills another human is evil, regardless. Even if I did save you it doesn't change the fact 40 other people died. It doesn't make it anymore acceptable. I do not wish for people to think of me as their saviour or a hero because I am far from that. Thank you for the potion Professor Snape. Professor Dumbledore I will join you and the staff at dinner, I would like to discuss with you and Professor McGonagal what I would like to do next. Now if you will excuse me.

She turned and left the room, She didn't quite no where she was going to go, she thought about sitting by the lake to think, but it was cold out and she didn't have a cloak with her. She thought about the library. That used to be her sanctuary, it was also part of Hermione. She wasn't that person any more. She decided on the Gryffindor common room. She didn't realise that anyone was following her.

Dumbledore and McGonagal turned to Snape. Snape was confused, he hadn't seen Hermione like this and didn't understand.

**'Did I say something wrong?'**

'No Serveres you didn't. Hermione has been through a lot lately and is finding it hard to accept it all. A death eater found her yesterday in a club in Paris and she freaked out.'

'Do you know who it was?'

'Yes I do, He told her his name was Dray, and that his father made him get the dark mark. He told her that his father was dead. Serveres there is only one person it can be.'

'Malfoy? Really? Does she no?'

'No she doesn't, I don't think that she would take it very well. She is blaming her self for her parent's death and is telling herself that she is a murderer. He took her away from all her pain that night and made her forget everything, funny thing is they only knew each other 10 minutes.'

'Teenagers. You don't think that this is linked do you? I mean her power and Malfoy?'

'It is a possibility I dare say. She does not know of this Serveres and she cannot find out. Not yet. She won't accept the fact that she has a gift and has saved the wizard and muggle world. She is shutting herself out from everybody. I'm not sure what she is going to do next. Minerva she will probably go to Gryffindor tower, please show her her room and I will be there shortly, I need to talk to Serveres.'

With that McGonagal left the room and followed Hermione up to Gryffindor tower.

Hermione reached the portrait of the fat lady.

'O, Hermione! How good it is to see you! Welcome back! Are you back for good? You'll be famous you no, more that Harry Potter!'

'Shh, fairy wings.'

Hermione turned around to see an annoyed McGonagal. She pushed her through the portrait hole and into the common room.

**'I'm sorry about that, portraits never no when to shut up. Well Hermione, Albus and I thought it best you have your own room, Its away from all of the people because you said you didn't want to face everyone. Is that ok?'**

'You mean, so I'm not putting people in danger.'

'No Hermione that's not what I mean, I meant so you could have some privacy away from all the people asking you questions.'

'Ok, so where is my room?'

'O, it's just here actually, it's a hidden room, behind the picture of the Gryffindor Lion. I'll be back in a few minutes. Albus and I would like to talk to you before dinner, is that ok?'

'Yes that's fine, thank you.'

McGonagal turned and left the room, leaving Hermione in her thoughts. She looked around the room, this room was where she laughed and joked with her friends, she had her first kiss, and she cried and comforted people in this room. So many emotions flooded back. The arguments she had with Harry and Ron, the makeup's with them. She would never experience these again. She saw a picture of her in the corner of the room. She walked over and saw a note beneath it. _Hermione Granger our true Gryffindor. We will always love you. With love - the Gryffindor's._ They were acting as if she was dead. It was true though, she was acting as if she was dead to them, but then again Harry, Ron, Ginny, Lavender and Pavitil acted as if she didn't exists. Sighing she turned back to her portrait. Muttering to herself

**'Now what will life throw at me this year? I'm sure ill get through it like I've got through all the other shit. Maybe just maybe I can have a little happiness? But I don't deserve to, so why should I? I just need to be on my own.'**

The portrait swung open with her last words. She entered and saw that her room was very plain and her things had already been brought up. Closing the portrait she saw a note on the door.

Hermione, I wasn't sure of your tastes, so I charmed them. You just look at the piece of furniture you want to change and saw exactly what you want. Once you have finished I would like you to come back into the common room. Minerva will be waiting for you. – Albus.

Clever she thought. She put down the letter and looked around. She had a queen size four poster bed with drapes, next to her bed was a bedside table with a lamp. On the other side were two French windows that led onto a balcony, which overlooked the lake, Forbidden Forest and the Quidditch pitch. It was a beautiful site. She also had a chest-of-draws and a wardrobe. Next to the windows was a vanity table. Across the room was another door. She walked over and entered. It was a magnificent site, white and black marble tops. She had a shower and a huge bathtub. You could fit 10 people in it easily. After about 15minutes of changing the colours of the furniture, she admired her work. She had made all of her furniture black oak wood, with pink walls. Her drapes, curtains and bed spread were also pink, she had also put a black and pink fur rug on the floor. She put away all of her clothes and makeup away and sat and looked in the mirror. She looked healthier than she had done 3 weeks ago. Her tan was still there and her hair was looking very shiny. She decided to change, she had been in those clothes all day and night, she felt she had to change because she didn't have time for a shower. Pulling out a pair of tight black ¾ jeans and a white hoody and trainers, she quickly changed and took off her old makeup and lightly applied some 'natural look' eye shadow and lip-gloss. She left her room to find McGonagal waiting for her.

**'Hermione, settled in ok?'**

'Yes thank you, but it's too much, I don't deserve any of it. It's too much, honestly, I'd rather be in my old dorm room. It's not fair on everybody else.'

'Don't be silly. Now come, Dumbledore wants to see you in his office.'

They were making their way to the portrait hole when they heard shouting. They stopped in their tracks and faced each other. Hermione was scared.

A.N hey please tell me what you think! RnR

dark raven

-x-


	5. Chapter5: Letters from an old friend

****

Chapter Five – letters from an old friend.

He walked out of the club, hoping he still might be able to find her. He heard some shouting across the road. There he saw Maya and two elder people. He recognised these people immediately as His Headmaster – Albus Dumbledore and Deputy Headmistress - Minerva McGonagal. He watched from a distance as Maya screamed at them.

**'Don't patronise me Albus. I know what I am and what I was. I'm a murderer, I've ruined some many lives and I'm not sure that I can face them yet. I can't face anybody yet. I'm not a good witch, I can't control my curse and that puts many people in danger, including yourselves. The old Hermione has gone. She has gone. Long gone. Dead. I'm nothing anymore, I have nothing and no one. I'm a murderer.'**

He never knew that Hermione thought of herself like this, all he wanted to do was protect her now. He wasn't sure why he just had the urge to walk up to her was never let her feel pain again. He watched as she began to glow red, But just as he was going to walk up to her they pushed her into an ally way and he couldn't see her. He was trying to get over there but crowds of people got in his way. He finally reached the ally way and heard more screams

'**This is not a gift it's a curse. It's left me with nothing! I'm dead, my Parent's are dead and I no I'm only going to kill more! I I I Don't want this any more, I want my old life back. I want, I want my mum, I want my dad!'**

He saw her fall and cry. He knew that she had lost her parents. Pansy and Blaise were spreading it around the school. He had to admit at that time he did feel sorry for her. He knew how it felt to loose your parents, But he could understand that it must of hurt more for her as she loved them. The next thing he knew the three of them had apperated. He had lost her, he wasn't sure if he was over going to see her again. Sighing He to apperated, but to his won flat in the heart of Paris.

He apperated just I front of his sofa and collapsed back. He didn't know what he was going to do. He wanted to find her but he had to admit that he was afraid. Afraid of how she would react to him. But when they danced he felt something, a connection no doubt but he felt something that drew him to her. He was positive that she felt it too, or did she?

He got up and went into his kitchen. Once in there he went to a small cabinet and pulled out two bottles. One of vodka and the other firewiskey. He went to another cabinet a pulled out a small glass. Moving back into his living room and sat on the sofa. He poured himself a glass of Firwiskey and laid back. He closed his eyes and many images invaded his head. He saw his father in a backhooded cloak with blood up the front. He knew not to ask where he had been. His mind flashed again and saw himself lying on a cold hard floor with his father towering over him. He remembers this, his father had crucioed him because he said he didn't want to take the dark mark. This was about a year ago. The he saw himself again getting the dark mark. The room was full off hooded people. He could hear his mother's distant sobs. She didn't want him to get the mark, she knew he didn't want it. His mind flashed again. He was in the hospital wing and he saw Harry and Ron coming in with a very limp Hermione in their arms. They didn't look too concerned. The put her on a bed and called for the nurse. They left not seconds after. He felt raged by this. How could her 'so called best friends' leave her like that? Again his mind flashed a he was in a graveyard, it was raining and he was walking away from a grave. His father's. He didn't grieve for him. He had no feelings towards him whatsoever. He could see another funeral persession in progress. There weren't many people in this on. Very few in fact. His eye caught a girl, a young girl. He watched as she dropped to her knees and was muttering to the open graves before her. He turned away, he actually had a tear in his eye. Not for his father, but for the young girl, it seemed she had just lost her parents and nobody deserved that sort of pain. His mind flashed one last time. He saw Hermione's smiling face, they were in the club. He saw her becoming quiet reserved about the tattoo questions, then her confidence in rubbing his leg and then the shock when he lifted her up onto his lap. He leaned in to kiss her and he jerked awake. He still could feel her breath on his neck and the taste of her lips gloss on his lips.

**'Shit'**

He got up and realised that he had split the bottle of firewiskey on the floor. He left it, he couldn't be bothered to clear it up now. He looked out the window and saw that it was morning, about 10 o'clock he'd say. He went to his room and changed. He put on a pair of black jogging bottoms and decided against putting on a top. Going back down stairs he saw an owl swoop into his living room. Nobody knew he was here. Who would be owling him?

He picked the letter and read it.

_Draco,_

I have just been informed you had a run in with Miss Granger in a nightclub. Dumbledore and McGonagal have told me that you got quite close with Hermione before she found out about your mark. You must understand that it is difficult for her-

What? He was trying to explain her actions, this was very un-Snape like. He knew he changed after the night in the riddle mansion but he never knew how much.__

To face anybody at the moment, let alone a death eater. I know that you didn't want to take the mark, but that is not the point. I saw her myself not 30minutes ago and she has changed, as you fully are aware. I don't just mean her appearance Draco but her whole attitude. At the moment she is fixed on shutting herself out from the world and never having contact with the wizarding community. There is something you should know about her Draco, something of great importance. I cannot explain in this letter as I'm positive that the risks of it being intercepted have not totally gone. There is no need to worry about anything at the moment I assure you.

So there is something to worry about, thanks! It's going to bug me now until I find out.

__

Attached to my own letter is one from Dumbledore about school Hopefully you will be pleasantly surprised.

Be safe

S.Snape

Putting the letter aside he picked up his Hogwarts letter.

__

Mr Malfoy,

I'm pleased to inform you that I have appointed you headboy. You will have many responsibilities this year and will be a role model to the younger years in all the houses. Inside of returning to Hogwarts with the rest of the school you will return in 3 weeks and spend a few days here getting used to your knew living quarters and Headgirl. There will be to staff meeting before term in which you are to attend in which I will explain your duties and responsibilities as well as privileges of being Headboy. You will also meet the new Headgirl. Attached to this letter are you schooling supplies and a return slip stating you are accepting the position of headboy. Please return this ASAP.

If you do accept this position I will send you a port key that will transport you here in 3 weeks time.

Albus Dumbledore

Headmaster

Woah, he was head boy, he wondered who the Headgirl would be. He was hoping that it would be Hermione, her grades her certainly up to scratch but with all she has been through, he doubted it. He decided to send his replies back.

_Serveres,_

Thankyou, I am very happy to be headboy. It did come as a surprise as I was sure boy-wonder would get it, or his side-kick, however this is a good thing to rub in the stupid Gryffindor's faces. You wouldn't happen to know who the Head Girl is by anychance? In reply to your letter I did indeed have a run in with Maya, It came as a very unexpected surprise I can tell you. I can understand that it must be hard for her, but all the same she did kill my father that night as well as 40 other people. I was in total shock when I found out that I had just 'got off' with my father's killer. You need to understand Severes that I will not under any circumstances let Maya loose contact with our world. I can not explain it but tonight something happened to me, I felt as if a wave of relief comfort and escape washed over me at the same time. When I was around her nothing else mattered, it seemed as the whole world just disappeared and there was only us left. She made me forget about my past and I must find her again. She made me see that there is a possibility of another life instead of one of the son of a Death Eater. I never thought that I could feel like this towards anybody, let alone Hermione Granger –Maya. I do believe that this has something to do with what you need to tell me. Telling me that there is something you need to tell me of great importance and then telling me there is no need to worry yet. Serveres you really need to re-phrase things better. Especially her location! I will try not to worry about it but all I can think about his her.

__

D. Malfoy

He sent the letter back, it was good that he had told someone about how he felt. At least he knew that she was somewhat safe at Hogwarts. He was pretty sure that Harry and Ron would catch up with her sooner or later and semi-convince her back to their world. He knew, he didn't know how, but he knew that she wouldn't be totally back. There would always be that doubt in her mind and he also knew that it would grow. He had to find her and make sure that it didn't grow and help her wash away those doubts for good. But what if she never wanted to see him? What if she didn't feel that spark between them, that force that brought them together. What if he never made her forget about her past? It was no good dwelling on 'what ifs' he would talk to her again.

He gradually fell asleep thinking about Maya. He muttered something in his sleep.

****

'I will bring you back Maya'


	6. Chapter6: Finding Hermione

Disclaimer: i wish i owned it! but it all belongs to J.K

A.N thank you pinapplecube! you're reviews made my day! plese get you mate to read it and anyone else you no here. it's my first fanfic so id really like to no what ppl think of it.

**Chapter Six – Finding Hermione.****'What are we going to do Harry, It's been three weeks and still no sign. I'm so worried about her.'**

**'I no Ron, but we've been going over this dam map hoping to find her and nothing! Why can't Dumbledore just tell us where she is? All we want to do is talk to her.'**The boys sat down at the Weasley table and looked at the map again. Still nothing.

**'Still no luck then?'**

Ginny sat down next to Harry, he looked up at her, her eyes were red a swollen, she'd been crying again. She and her mother did this often. They both were sick with worry and couldn't do anything to help. Sighing Harry took her hand and answered her.

**'No Gin, nothing. Why can't we find her. We just want to no she's ok.'**

'I no, But Bill, Charlie Fred and George said that the ministry thinks shes in Europe.'

Right on cue, the four of them apperated into the kitchen next to them.

**'They've narrowed it down to France.'**

They all sat down at the table and buried their faces in their hands. They sat in silence.

'Three bloody weeks! She could be dead for all we no!'

This outburst was from Fred. They were all frustrated. Three weeks and had made little progress. Ginny was just staring at the map, hoping the pointer would move. It did. Ginny blinked. She thought that it was just her imagination. She looked around to see if anyone had seen it. Nobody did. She turned again to the map. The pointer was moving north.

**'Guys.'**

'Ugh, why can't we just find her.'

'Guys'

'We just want to no that shes alive and well.'

'Guys'

'I want her to no that we care.'

'GUYS!'

Ginny stood up, the guys all looked at her like she was crazy.

**'She's back.'**

The six of them answered together.

**'WHAT?'**

Jumping up and down Ginny was pointing at the map.

**'She's back, she's in Scotland, Hermione, she's at Hogwarts!'**

They all turned to look at the map. All of their eyes grew wide, and excited, they were all relived she was alive.

**'Get mum and dad, we're going to Hogwarts.'**

All of the guys got themselves together and Ron went to get his parents.

**'We can't go to her, she doesn't want to see us. We know shes safe that's all that matters. You know she won't talk to us if we go there and demand to talk to her. She been through a lot and needs time on her own.'**

'No Gin, shes been on her own for to long, she needs people around her that love her.'

It was Mrs Weasley that spoke from the doorframe. She tried to argue with her mum, but failed. Look we're going to apperate into Hogsmead and Ginny was going to go by floo powder. They were all in the three broomsticks waiting for Ginny to appear. When she arrived they made their way up to the castle.

'I can't wait to see her.'

'Me either.'

'Now boys, please this will overwhelm her no doubt so take it slow with her ok?'

They assumed that she would be in Gryffindor tower so they all made their way there.

**'I still don't think this is a good idea, this is going to upset her! You're going to make things worse. Please can we just go back?'**

'No, we've come to far now just to turn back. Gin don't you want to see her?'

'Of corse I do, but she's not going to forgive and forget what we did to her Ron, we treated her like crap and you no it. I wouldn't be surprised if she slams the door in our faces, it's only what we deserve.'

They continued to walk down the corridors until they reached the portrait that gave the entrance to Gryffindor tower.

**'May I ask why you are in my castle?'**

'Dumbledore you gave us quiet a fright. –'

'We know she's here let us see her,'

'Yes, Charlie she is here, but I'm not going to let you see her, She asked me not to tell you where she was, she doesn't want to face anyone at the moment you must respect her wishes.'

'WHAT ABOUT OUR WISHES? WE WISH TO SEE HER. CHECK THAT SHE'S OK!'

'Bill, will you please keep your voice down, you will wake up the whole castle. I can tell you that shes fine. She had quite a scare yesterday and she is resting.'

'WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'QUITE A SCARE?' WHAT HAPPENED DUMBLEDORE? IF SHES HURT THEM I'M BLAMING YOU.'

Just then the portrait swung open to reveal McGonagal, quiet flustered.

Inside Hermione put a charm on the wall so she could see what was going on outside and hear everything that was being said.

**'McGonagal where is she?'**

'Harry shes in the common room, She wasn't expecting to see you all, you've frightened her. The last time she saw this many people angry, she put 3 of them in St Mungo's with severer brain haemorrhages. When she gets upset she looses control of her powers, you know that, you saw. Please just give her time, she will talk to you I'm sure, but she's just having a hard time at the moment.'

'What did Dumbledore mean when he said 'quite a scare?'

'O, a Death Eater found out where she was yesterday and approached her in a club. It frightened her a lot, and she was scared.'

'Why was she in a club? that's not like Hermione. And how did the Death Eater find her, I thought they were all captured?'

'Well were not sure how he found her. He didn't seem harmful at first I'm not just sure, we thought that they were all captured or killed aswell, but one of them must have got through some how. And when and if you see Hermione you will be surprised, She has changed her appearance drastically, We hardly recognised her when we saw her. She said that she went to the clubs because that the only time when her mind isn't on the fact that shes a murderer.'

The conversation was mainly between Harry and McGonagal. She smiled to her self when she heard McGonagal say she hardly recognise her, that meant that her money was well spent, that was what she was hoping for. She went back to listening to the conversation.

**'Ok, so what we don't care if shes changed her appearance, we still love her. And shes not a murderer. She's still the same Hermione. She likes our own little sister and we want to be there for her. We're her family now and we don't care if we have to wait out here all night we will talk to her.'**

She never thought that Bill would say something like that. It was nice of him to say so, but he was wrong. She wasn't the same old Hermione and they weren't her family. She had killed her family and she was on her own. She wouldn't accept them as her family because they would end up getting hurt. She also knew when a Weasley says they'll stay out there all night then they would. This was bad there was nine Weasley's and they all began to sit on the floor out side. What was she going to do now? If she went out there she would have to face them all. Was she ready for that? She would have to do it sooner or later. Just as she was going to leave the common room, that voice came back.

****

Leave now and don't come back, you don't belong here. you're a murderer. You deserve a life of misery and pain for what you've done. Nobody cares for you anymore, all they see you as is a murderer.'

She was turning around trying to find out where the voice was coming from. She felt a pain in her head, a sharp stabbing pain. The voice was screaming at her again.__

'I'M SORRY, I DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT ANYONE, PLEASE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.'

She started to run to her room just as the portrait hole opened, the Weasley's, Harry, Dumbledore and McGonagal came running in. McGonagal caught her arm just as she was going through her room and pulled her back. She looked at her face and saw she was crying.

**'It it was the voice again, it s s said I i had no right to to be here and and I deserve a life of misery and pain. I didn't mean to hurt anyone, I swear I couldn't help it. I I don't know what to do.'**

McGonagal pulled her into a hug, and she sobbed on her shoulder. The Weasley's and Harry just stared at her, they were shocked. Not only how much that she had changed but they had no idea what she was going through. Little did they know that this was only the tip of what shes been through. McGonagal was patting her head and making 'shh' sounds trying to calm her down.

'I think it might be best if you came back another time. I'll talk to her and see what she wants to do ok? But for now I think it's best if you leave her on her own.'

Bill, Charlie, Fred, George, Mr and Mrs Weasley and Ginny all turned to leave, However Ron and Harry just stared at her. They weren't going to leave her that easily.

**'Come on boys, when she's ready to talk to us then she will.'**

They watched as McGonagal motioned her into a private room, she shut the painting behind her and turned to face them all.

**'If it's ok with Albus, then why don't you stay for dinner, and the night?'**

'Yes of corse, unless you have other plans?'

'No, no we don't, we'd love to stay for dinner, but the night? I'm not sure that would be wise in Hermione's state.'

'But mum, -'

'No buts, she'll talk to us when shes ready. I doubt we will see her tonight but at least we no shes safe and as well as she can be ok?'

'She asked me to give you a message actually. She said she will write you all a letter and explain as best she can what's been going on with her. She asks you don't worry about her because shes not worth your worry and she would like it if Harry and Ron would come back here after dinner so she can give you the letters.'

They nodded in agreement, just as they were turning to leave Harry made his way over to her portrait and slipped two letters under her door. They all made there way down to the great hall for dinner with Hagrid, Snape, Madam Pomfrey and a few other teachers. The adults mainly talked about Hermione and her power. Harry and Ron sat in silence through out the whole meal, feeling nervous about seeing her. After dinner they made their way back to the Tower and waited inside that common room for her. Mrs Weasley said they would wait for them before they left for the burrow and to find them in Dumbledore's office.

When McGonagal put her in her room, She dropped to the floor and cried. She kept repeating to herself _why me? What have I done?_

After a few minutes she got up off the floor and started on the letters that she had promised them. The first one she wrote was to Mr and Mrs Weasley. None of her letters were particularly long.

Mr and Mrs Weasley,

From what I've been told by McGonagal and Dumbledore, they told you that I left after the attack. You must understand that I had no choice and didn't mean to cause you any reason to worry. If I did then I'm sorry, you really have no reason to worry over me, It would be best if you forgot that I existed, but knowing you as I do, I no that won't happen. I would like to say thank you for everything you've ever done for me in the past, for letting me stay at your home and letting me into your family. Mr Weasley I would like to thank you for your attempts to find me, You should no that if I don't want to be found that it would be very hard to find me. I'm not even sure how the Death Eater or Dumbledore found me. I'm sorry for any pain or hurt I have caused you or you family, it was not intended, it just seems recently that all I bring is pain. That why I'm writing these letters instead of talking to you face to face. I can't let myself get attached to anyone anymore. I need to block everybody out because that's the only way I can make sure that nobody will be hurt if I get angry and accidentally let my powers get out of control. I'm not the old Hermione that you remember, I've changed and become a person that I never thought I would be. I'm a murderer. You shouldn't worry yourself with somebody that should be in Azkaban. I'm sorry if I have hurt you I love you and your family too much to be around.

Please understand

Maya

P.S. I hope the two of you have a happy life together and never feel any sort of pain.

A few tears fell from her eyes as she finished it. She wiped them away and reminded herself that she can't be like this, that they'd only get hurt. She started to write Bill and Charlie their letter.

Bill and Charlie,

I'd like to 1st say that I'm sorry for all the worry I've put you through. I never meant for you to do that. I'm also sorry if I've caused you any pain, that was one thing I never meant to do either. You have been like brothers to me and I heard you earlier when you said you thought of me as you sister, part of your family. I'm asking you to please not think of me like that, it's not right. It's my own fault that my parents are dead and if I start to care for anybody else in that way then I will only bring them more hurt and pain, I'm not prepared to take the risk of you or any member of you family getting hurt or killed. Especially if it was me to hurt them. You both saw how strong my power was that night and trust me they've grown. I don't understand why I have them, how to control them or anything, The curse that I've been given is my problem and I will find a way to live with it, but I'm not putting the people I love in danger because of it. Please understand that I'm not the Hermione you remember. I've changed appearance wise, which you'd probably never recognise me. My mind has also changed. I'm on my own and that's the way it's got to stay. I'm not the smart boring Hermione anymore. I'm murderer Hermione who should be in Azkaban. You deserve better than to be remotely associated with me.

I'm Sorry please understand

Maya

P.S. I hope that both of you will have happy lives and marry and have children. I hope they never are subjected to any evil or pain.

She took a deep breath. These letters were hurting her to write, she wished that her life could go back to normal but it wasn't possible. There was no way she could let it. She thought about writing Ginny hers next.

Ginny,

You were one of my best girl friends and I'm not sure what happened come September but you, Lav and Patili just stopped talking to me. I don't know if that was because you were with Harry but what ever it was I want you to know that it did hurt and I'm not sure what I did to deserve it. But that's in the past with old Hermione. I'm sorry if I made you worry about me over the last few weeks but you shouldn't. I'm not worth it. I only bring pain and misery to those around me, so maybe it was best we stopped talking because you will never be hurt by me. I'm sure you no about that night so I won't go into detail. I just want you to no that I'm not Hermione your (ex) friend but Hermione the murderer of 40 people in one night and Hermione the girl who attacked 10 people and ran from being arrested. I'm not a good person any more Gin, and I'm sorry. I wish things could be different but they can't, I won't let it because I'll be putting you and your family's lives in danger. No I can't do that.

I hope you understand

Maya.

P.S. I hope you and Harry have a good life together.

She thought that maybe she was a bit harsh in that letter but decided against it. Ginny had hurt her and should no. One more letter left she thought. Harry and Ron's would take a little while longer to write so she would owl them.

Fred and George,

I have heard about you searching for me and you shouldn't have wasted your time. Dumbledore no probably told you that I didn't want to be found and you should have realised that it would be very hard. I'm sorry that you looked and put you through unnecessary worry. I hope that I didn't cause you any sort of pain when I left because I can assure you that, which was never my intention. I wanted to forget the world and be on my own. That is what I am going to do now. I don't want to be around anyone I used to care about because I will only bring them pain. Everything I touch or get attached to seems to be taken away from me and I don't want that to happen to you so I braking the ties between us now so I don't have to face it when it finally comes. I can't be around you because I'm afraid. I'm afraid that I will hurt you. I can't deal with any more pain or suffering that I've caused people. If I don't have contact with anyone then how can I hurt them? Thank you both for being there for me, you two as well as Charlie and Bill were like my big protective brothers and thank you for looking out for me over the years. But now that's not necessary I can take care of myself now. I wish things could go back to normal but they can't. I no that you think of me as family, but it's my own fault that my parents died and I will not under no circumstances, let anyone else fell the pain of what it's like to loose someone you love.

I beg of you to understand

Maya

P.S. I wish you the world of luck with your joke shop.

That was it. She finished the letter. She wrote a note saying she would send on Harry and Ron's on because they weren't finished. She apologised again. As she was about to walk out, she saw two letters on the floor address to her. She knew straight away that they were from Harry and Ron and wasn't going to read them. She would give them back with these. She glanced at her clock it was 11.56PM. She hoped that when she got out there that they'd both be asleep, so she wouldn't have to face them. She didn't no why she told McGonagal to get them to pick the letters up. She took a deep breath and walked out. It was dark in the common room and she couldn't see anything. She waved her hand do a dim light shone through the room. She looked around and found Ron asleep on the sofa, She wondered why Harry wasn't there. He probably didn't want to see her. Some tears fell from her eyes. She walked over to Ron and put the letters on the table, she saw that his eyes were red a puffy, it looked like he had been crying. He put a blanket over him and turned away. She was sure that someone would come and find him soon, so she had to get away. She turned from and faced her portrait hole. He looked up and her eyes met a pair of green ones. She gasped and wiped the fallen tears.

**'H h h arry.'**

**A.N i'm a bitch for the cliffy i no!! hehe please RnR coz i'd like to no what you think please!!!!!**

**dark raven**

**-x-**


	7. Chapter7: One long night

****

Tears of a confused mind.

****

Disclaimer: you no that I don't own Harry Potter.

Ok I want to thank all of you who have reviewed. They mean so much to me!

Angles-faith: Thank you and I am still writing, ive started to other Fanfic's Check em out and tell me what you think.

Luvinganglebaby: Ok I've continued and thank you so much that means a lot to me. I didn't think my writing was any good.

Pinapplecube: Hey thanks for the Reviews and I loved reading them. I'm not saying if they get together in the next chapter or not, you have to review this chapter and find out!

HarpieBird: I've updated now! I'm sorry it took forever but im writing two other stories as well. Ill try and update regular. read on and see if he comes back.

Hawkswell: Thank you for the reviews, ive taken everything into account. Please tell me what you think of this one. Any suggestions are welcome

A.N its been along time since I updated this story so I think ill refresh your memory

__

It was dark in the common room and she couldn't see anything. She waved her hand and a dim light shone through the room. She looked around and found Ron asleep on the sofa. She wondered why Harry wasn't there. He probably didn't want to see her. Some tears fell from her eyes. She walked over to Ron and put the letters on the table, she saw that his eyes where red a puffy, it looked like he had been crying. She put a blanket over him and turned away. She was sure that someone would come and find him soon, so she had to get away. She turned from him and faced her portrait hole. She looked up and her eyes met a pair of green ones. She gasped and wiped the fallen tears.

****

'H-h-harry.'

****

Ok so on with this chapter. This chapter has a lot of dialect in it and may get confusing. Please read and review.

****

Chapter 7: One long night

Part of her wanted to run and give him a hug, but her mind and heart were telling her to run, go away. He hurt you. She listened to this side and turned away from him hoping to escape out of the main portrait hole. Harry wasn't going to let his best friend get away that easy. As she turned around he grabbed her wrist and pulled her back.

**'No 'Mione, please stay and talk.'**

'Harry I can't please let me go.'

''Mione you asked for us to be here, now you are going to run again?'

'I can't do it. Not now Harry please.'

She yanked her arm out of his grip and fled to the other side. Her eyes stung with tears, all she wanted to do was get away from here. But once she got to the portrait hole, she looked up and met a pair of red puffy swollen blue eyes. They shone with tears.

**'Ron.'**

Nobody said anything. Hermione and Ron eyes were locked. Both shone with tears of hurt, anger, fear and confusion.

**'Please Ron, I just-I just want to- I need to. Please just let me go.'**

'No. 'Mione we've waited far to long to talk to you and we are not letting you go that easy. We just want to talk to you. Find out what happened to you 'Mione, please just lets talk.'

'Ron I can't. No now, I will talk to you but just not now. I want to go. I don't want to talk now.'

'No. you are going to stay until we've talked about this. We want our old 'Mione back and we will stay here all night if we have to. We just want our 'Mione back.'

'I'm not your old 'Mione Ron. I haven't been your old 'Mione since you ditched me last year. I haven't been your old 'Mione since I cut my self, or that night at the Riddle Mansion. I'm not 'mione anymore. I'm not Hermione. I'm a murderer.'

Hermione turned again to leave them in the common room, but didn't have anywhere to go. Ron was blocking the main entrance and Harry was at her portrait. She was trapped here and all she wanted to do was run. She didn't want to face them yet. She couldn't face them yet.

Ron was getting really angry at her. She run away and not let them in her life, they were worried about her and spend weeks looking for her. He cried himself to sleep at night, muttering, preying that she would come back to them safe. And now that she was here, she didn't want to see them. He was not giving up that easy. She had to no how he felt.

**'Do you no what we've been through? Looking for you day and night? I-'**

'How dare you? How dare you stand there and shout at me about what you've been through. Have you any idea what I've gone through? Have you?'

''Mione I-'

''Mione he means that he's glad that you're back and that he just wants to talk to you. Hopefully work everything out.'

'O shut up Harry, he didn't mean that at all. When did he say that he was glad I was back? Or that he wants everything to work out? He didn't! He just thinks I'm a selfish bitch. All he thinks about is himself, not what others have been through. I'm sorry Harry but all you do is defend him! That's what I couldn't stand between you to, it would always be Harry and Ron, I also had to fight for you to notice me! Stop defending him Harry, he said what he thinks and nothing else.'

''Mione I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. But you don't no what we've been through-'

'I'm not your 'Mione! stop calling me it. And I don't care for your apologies anymore Ron it's to late. I don't care. I can't care! I would have expected your apology 8 months ago when you totally ignored me because you found girlfriends. Or when you stood me up all those days when we were supposed to go to Hogsmead or do homework. I would have even accepted your apology when you fucked off after new years. You found me in that room after I cut myself, brought me down to the hospital wing and left me. You never came to see me. You never cared if I was ill or not. You only cared about getting laid. But I would have still accepted your apology. But after that your weren't my friends any more. It was just the two of you. It was too late after I saved your arses after the Riddle Mansion, It was to late when I had a curse put on me . And it was defiantly to late when I became a murderer. Don't you see Ron I can't care anymore because you might get hurt. Fair enough you hurt me bad last year but I can't change that. And if I let you back into my life then there's the risk that I will hurt you, worse than you've ever hurt me. I tried to block myself out from the world. Hoping people would find me, but then when the Death Eaters came to my house and tried to kill me I lost it and flipped out, I nearly killed them. That's why I fled again. I can't be around people. Muggle or Wizard because I will hurt them. That's why I came back here. I thought I could be safe here for a bit after that Death Eater in the club. But I'm not because you found me. I'm petrified if you come to close that you might get hurt. Just stay where you are. Please.'

He boys just stared at her. They watched her get angry and a red glow form around her. They watched as her eyes turned black and her hands begin to shake. They listened to every word she said and tears fell from both of their eyes. Hermione wiped away her tears and calmed her self down. There was a tinge of red around her but not as fierce as before and her eyes changed back to the amber colour. Ron still wanted her to try and understand what they had been though. He felt so bad and guilty after what she just said and wanted to make it up to her but she had to no.

**'Hermione I'm sorry you feel like that, believe me I am, but you are not a murder and you are not the only one who has had it hard. Over the last few months when you left we've been frantic. Bill, Charlie, Fred, George and dad have been at the ministry till 12 o'clock most nights helping with the search for you. They'd have a few hours sleep and then leave again at 5. Hermione me and Harry scribed for you day and night, but we found nothing. You obviously weren't in the country but we tried anyway. Mum and Ginny were worried sick. Mum never ate and cried all the time. I cried my self to sleep every night. Hoping that you were ok.'**

There was silence. Hermione was crying so hard. She didn't want to hear this, it was to hard for her. She didn't want anybody to still care about her because they would just get hurt by either her or the Death Eaters. She wished that they would stop. She was a murderer and should be treated like it. She sat on the floor and leaned against the back of the sofa. she hugged her knees and Harry and Ron came and sat down beside her. But they didn't sit to close. She heard Harry start to talk.

**'After the Riddle Mansion we felt so guilty about the way we treated you, that's why we tried to apologies. You saved us Hermione. We could have dies that night but you came on your own and saved us. We are forever in your debt. Hermione you killed the people that would have killed us and that killed hundreds before us. All those wizards and Muggles they killed twice around. Hermione they killed my parents and Sirius. They killed your to. You rid the world of an evil. God knows what we would be doing now if they were still alive. You saved to worlds 'Mione and if you like it or not, you are a hero. Our hero. You see the picture over there with the candles? We put it up. After the Riddle Mansion. People should thank you for everything you do and that's just our way to say thank you. We love you 'Mione and we will bring you back.'**

'No Harry you won't. I won't let it. I never asked for any of this. I never asked for you and the Weasley's to search for me. I told Dumbledore before I left to tell you not to bother to search because you wouldn't find me. I'm sorry if I put you under any stress or anything but I never asked for it and I wish you didn't bother. I wanted to be alone. I still want to be alone and that's the way it's got to be. So I won't kill or hurt anyone else. Harry I'm a murderer if you can accepted that or not. I killed all those Death Eaters. I killed my parents and I almost killed again. I can't put anyone else through that pain again. I'm sorry but I can't. I'm not prepared to take that risk.'

Hermione got up and left the two boys, tear stained and hurt. They wanted their best friend back but she wasn't having any of it. McGonagal was right when she said that she had changed and not just in her appearance. They never realised that she felt this bad about what had happened. They never thought that she blamed her self for her parents murder or that she considered herself a murderer.

Hermione couldn't let herself get attached again. If she did then she might hurt them. No. she couldn't but she preyed that they would understand. They had to. She reached her portrait and looked back at the boys. Harry was still where she left him, on the floor with his head in his hands. Ron had moved to the sofa and he to had his head in his hands. Then Harry looked up and stared at her.

**'But we want to take that risk. We want to be with you. It's our choice. We want to take that risk.'**

'Harry No. I can't let you. I'm sorry.'

'But we want to take that risk!'

She didn't hear him. She heard Something else instead. That o so familiar voice in her head.

__

Go away and don't come back. They don't love you. They never have and never will. No one does. Go leave now before you hurt them. Before you kill them.

Hermione was turning around frantic.

**'I can't. I can't go. I won't, I won't kill them. Please please leave me alone!'**

Harry and Ron's head shot up to see Hermione falling to her knees clutching her head and screaming at someone who wasn't there. Harry ran over to her and shock her shoulders.

**'Hermione, Hermione. Stop. It's me Harry. Look at me.'**

She pulled her head up and looked at Harry. He saw fear in her eyes, he was worried about her. What was she doing, he was frightened. She was shaking and sweating. He wrapped his arms around her and picked her up. She was so light but this was claming her down. He walked over to the sofa where Ron was watching him. He turned her around so she was sitting on his lap and his arms around her waist and her legs were over Ron. She had stopped shaking and The boys where making 'Shh' noises to calm her down. Harry wiped her hair from her face and Ron held onto her hands.

**'I-I-I'm sorry.'**

'It's Ok, what happened?'

'I, well since I've got here I've been hearing voices. In my head I think. And they keep telling me that I should leave and never come back. They say I'm a murderer and that I'm going to kill again. That one just said that you don't love me, no one does and I should leave before I hurt you. Before I kill you.'

'But the thing is 'Mione. We do love you, you're not a murderer and you aren't getting rid of us that easy.'

Harry tightened his grip around her waist. Bringing her closer to him and Ron put his hand on her thigh bringing her closer to him. She linked her hands with Harry and Ron and they sat in silence. Hermione still had her doubts.

**'But I-'**

'No but's 'Mione. We are not going to leave you alone. We are here for you if you like it or not. Look we are really sorry about how we treated you. We really are. We were so consumed in our own lives and girls that we didn't take any notice of you or include you in anything. We should have been there for you when the Slytherin girls were beating you up and what Zambini did. We are so sorry 'Mione. Please forgive us.'

Both boys stared at her and waited for her reply.

**'You really hurt me you no. We came back in September and everything was ok. But then as the weeks went on we stopped hanging out and you would totally ignore me. You ditched me so many times so you could hang out with Lavender and Ginny, and I thought I did something wrong. Then when the girls stopped hanging around with me or even acknowledging me I felt so shitty. They were saying stuff behind me back and you would laugh at them. I wanted you guys around so much and I really wanted to tell you what they were doing to me. But you didn't care about me anymore so why should you care about that?**

'Hermione-'

'No let me finish.'

She stopped to take in some breath while Ron and Harry just continued to look at her. Not quite knowing what to say. Tears formed in all of their eyes, she looked at them and continued.

****

'I was so alone. When I found out that you had gone to the Riddle Mansion without me, I was so mad. It was the three of us on the adventures. Not just the two of you. So I went, I still cared about you even if you didn't care about me. You would have been killed if I didn't show up. I was still alone when my parents died. I arranged and went alone to the funeral. In a way I still had hoped that you to might have been there, but then the other side of me was screaming that they hurt you and don't care for you. I have had no one for the past year, No one to talk to anything. It has been the worst year of my life.'

'But things have changed between us now if you like it or not. I'm still a murderer. I killed all those Death Eaters. Ruined so many family's. Killed my own family and hurt the people I love the most. I can't face hurting any one else, it would kill me to do that. That's why I can't be around you anymore. Please understand.'

Ron and Harry still had tears in their eyes. She had poured her heart out and they felt so bad.

**''Mione you don't understand that it's killing us, you not being around. Me and Ron- we need you. And we don't care how many times you say it, you are not a murderer. To us 'Mione you are still our hero. Why can't you see that?'**

'Because I'm not!'

Ron was getting angry again with her.

**'Hermione Granger! Listen to me! You. Are. MY. Hero! You are Harry's and Dumbledore's and Snape's! You are the Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and in a way the Slytherin's hero! You saved the Muggle and Wizarding world from total death and darkness. Why can't you see that 'Mione?'**

'Because I'm a murderer.'

''Mione you only killed people that would have killed hundreds more! You killed evil and rid the world of the dark lord. 'Mione you only killed the people that would have killed those you loved. They did kill those you love. 'Mione it wasn't your fault, they did it not you!'

Hermione didn't no what to say. She had tears streaming down her face and looking at her hands that were still linked with theirs. Harry then spoke to her.

**''Mione you no that you have us don't you. You've got friends and family that love you. Me, Ron all the Weasley's we're your family now. You've got Dumbledore and McGonagal and even Snape! We all love you and want to bring you back from the shell you've created. Please all we're asking is that you try now. For us. And if you find it to hard or to much to handle then we promise you that we won't pressure you to do anything else. You can do what you want. Please 'Mione?'**

She thought this over. She DID have people around her that were willing to risk getting hurt by her power. SHe DID have people around her that love her and who was she to deny them? they wanted to be around her and it was their choice wasn't it? She took a deep breath and squeezed their hands.

**'Ok. Ok I'll try. But if I can't handle it or hurt any of you with this stupid curse then you'll leave me alone? for good?'**

They nodded and she smiled. Her first genuine happy smile in a long time. Their eyes lit up and they hugged her. They were all crying with happiness now. Something was still nagging at her so she decided to ask them.

**'Wht bot r grilfnd?'**

They pulled away confused

**'What?'**

'What about your girlfriends? won't they be upset that firstly you've made up with me and that your sitting with me like this?'

Harry and Ron looked at each other.

**'Actually 'Mione me and Lavender aren't together anymore.'**

'What why?'

'Well we split up just after the Riddle Mansion. She said that all I talk about is you and how you weren't talking to us. SHe got fed up with it.'

'O I'm sorry Ron.'

'It's not your fault!'

'Yeah but still, I'm sorry. Well what about you and Gin Harry?'

'We broke up at the end of term. Sorta the same reason.'

'O.'

'We're better off without them anyway. Now we can have a three some!'

Ron and Hermione looked at Harry shocked.

'**Excuse me?'**

'Hey I'm kidding! just wanted to make you laugh.'

'Sure Mr Potter.'

The three of them laughed, just like it used to be.

**'So come on 'Mione what's this about some guy in a club?'**

'O well he was a Death Eater. I don't no how he found me. We were just dancing and whatever and I saw the Tattoo on his arm. He said his dad made him get in last year and he hated having it. He didn't no who I was because I went by the name Maya out there. But the thing is I felt like I had a real connection with him. Not just those lust things. It was like electricity ran though us every time we touch and it was so intense when we kissed-'

'Too much info 'Mione! But I like the name Maya. You don't mind if we call you that do you?'

'No.'

'Don't worry Maya we'll find this mystery guy for you. Even if we have to punch him up a bit first. You don't mind do you?'

'Yes i do mind thanks Ron!'

'Don't worry we won't hurt him to much, why don't you describe him.'

'Ok well he's our age-'

'Good I thought for a second it might be Snape.'

The three of them looked at each other and shuddered.

**'Eww. No it wasn't Snape. He's about 16/17 tall about 6'1 ish. He's got shirt spiky blond hair almost white, beautiful grey eyes. So deep and loving. He had these soft pink lips and toned 6 pack.'**

'Maya. We meant his build and such?'

'O right well like I said he's abut 6'1. Not to built like one of those muscle men but built enough to no he works out. Quite strong arms and totally soft skin.-'

'Again kind of getting of the subject here.'

'O sorry and he said his name was Dray. He looked so familiar.'

Harry and Ron stared at each other. They both knew who it was that she was describing, they had been tailing him once term ended. Dumbledore said for them to keep an eye on him because they weren't sure if he was a death eater or not. But then when he left the country they couldn't watch him any more. Harry shook his head at Ron. He wanted to tell her it was Draco Malfoy but Harry was telling him not to.

**'We can't Ron.'**

'She has a right to no.'

'What? What's going on?'

'Ron, no it will crush her.'

'She'll kill us if we don't.'

'Hello! I'm still here.'

Hermione looked between the two boys who continued to have a silent battle with their eyes. Finally Harry gave in.

**'Fine, on your head be it.'**

'Can some one tell me what's going on?'

'Look Maya just before the end of term Dumbledore told us we had to keep an eye on some Death Eaters that weren't put away or anything yet. And the one we were tailing sounds exactly like the one you just described. And we not sure if you are going to like who it is.'

'Well tell me then. Who is it?'

'Draco Malfoy.'

She didn't say anything. She just looked at her hands. Malfoy? Could she really have such a connection with Malfoy? The she thought about what he said in the club. _my father made me get it for my birthday. it doesn't mean anything._ Was he really forced to do it? Does he really want her dead? Was she ever going to see him again?

**'Were sorry Maya.'**

'What for? It's not your fault. And I'm not sure if he is a Death Eater. He told me before he knew who I was that he hates the tattoo and it doesn't mean anything and he was forced to get it.'

'Well if Malfoy's the one you want, we aren't going to stop you. Just be careful that all we ask.'

The three of them soon fell asleep in each others arms. Hermione was still on Harry's Lap and Ron was still holding her legs up. They also had one of her hands each. At about 2.30am the portrait hole swung open and Dumbledore, McGonagal, Bill, Charlie, Fred, George and Snape walked through. They all looked at the sleeping figures on the sofa in front of them. Dumbledore looked at Snape and they both smiled. The Weasley's look relieved while McGonagal was just confused.

**'What's gone on here?'**

'Isn't it obvious McGonagal?'

'Charlie I would much appreciate it if you would just explain.'

'They've brought our 'Mione back.'

The seven of them looked at the sleeping figures with smiles on their faces. If Harry and Ron couldn't bring Hermione back to the folds of the light side then nobody could. They were so relieved that the Golden Trio was now re-united. But for how long nobody knew.

****

A.N That was a long chapter to write! whoo, I'm glad it's over. It shouldn't be too long till I update but I'm also working on two other stories. _I only want to be excepted _ (that's a Harry/Hermione FanFic) and _Nobody ever said love was easy _(a Hermione/Sirius FanFic_)_ Check them out.

Ok tell me what you think about this chapter. Any good?

dark raven

-x-

****


	8. chapter8: dresses, portkey and Seer Scri...

****

Tears of a confused mind

A.N thank you _Paprika90_, you review really brightened my day. I wasn't expecting any reviews because I didn't think it was any good.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Harry Potter characters or anything associated with it. However I do own the rights to the original plot and OC'S.

Chapter 8: dresses portkeys and seer scripts.

It had been a few days since Harry and Ron had visited her and she felt so much better. They had semi convinced her that she could get through all of her troubles and worries with the people that loved her around. She still considered herself a murderer but now she let people around her. For the last few days she also hadn't heard that voice in her head. This was such a relief. One thing she still worried about was Dray. She knew now that he was Draco Malfoy, but did that matter? He too knew who she was now, so did that effect his opinion on her at all? She was so sure she wasn't the only one to feel the connection between them that night in the club. It was far too intense, but what if she was wrong and hates her? She did kill his father but then again he didn't seem to get on with him because he made Dray get the dark mark. She hadn't stopped thinking about him since Harry and Ron had told her it was him. She had to see him again, that connection couldn't be ignored.

Hermione was sitting alone in her private rooms waiting for McGonagal to come. She needed some new things from Diagon Alley like robes, some books and she wanted a dress she had seen. McGonagal had been willing to get these for her because she had been showing signs of recovery. There was a light tapping on her Portrait hole. Hermione turned around and opened it to see McGonagal standing there with a dozen packages wrapped in brown paper.

**'Here you are. I hope it's everything you wanted.'**

'I'm sure it is. And thank you again Minerva, it's very kind of you.'

Hermione put all of the packages on her bed but then picked up one of them.

**'Not a problem Maya, I'm happy to do it. And I must say that dress was absolutely beautiful. That material was so soft. It would look wonderful on you.'**

Hermione looked at the dress she had in her hands and smiled. It really was beautiful. It was a red silk dress that reached the floor and had a slit up to her calf. It had little straps and a plunging neckline. It didn't go to far down but it showed enough cleavage. Along the slit was silver embroidery.

**'It is isn't it? I saw it with my mum before- well I've always been meaning to pick it up.'**

They both admired the dress again. This was one of the last times Hermione and her Mum had been together. It was just before school started and they were shopping for school supplies. They had been wondering down Diagon Alley when Hermione saw the dress in the window. Her mum promised her that they would come and get it at Christmas. She already knew what the dress looked like on, she couldn't just walk past the shop and see such a beautiful dress without trying it on. It fit like a dream. Hugged tight around her breasts giving them more of a rounded look. It wasn't as tight on her middle but it still showed she had a flat stomach, then it flowed, right down to the floor, it had a lace layer underneath with made it a lot softer. It was an amazing dress, and it reminded her of her mum.

**'Well I better be going. Don't forget about your meeting with Dumbledore in half an hour. Have you made your decision?'**

'Yes, and thanks again for these, It's much appreciated.'

'Ok well I'll see you soon. Bye Maya.'

'Bye Minerva, I'll be there shortly.'

Hermione had made her decision and couldn't believe she was even asked. It had come as such a shock to her and needed a few days to think about it.

FLASHBACK

It was the day after Harry and Ron had left and Hermione was sitting at Dinner with most of the staff. Earlier that day Dumbledore had asked her whether she planned on staying at Hogwarts for another year. Hermione had thought about it but never made a firm decision. All the teachers had stared at her waiting for her to answer but she said that she would tell them tonight at dinner...

**'So the Hippogriff said to the sea hag-'**

'Albus this is really not the time or the place and how many times have we heard that one?'

'Yes, I'm sorry Minerva, I wasn't sure if Maya had heard it or not.'

Hermione caught his eye and smiled, she had heard that joke at breakfast this morning but wasn't going to say that to the poor old man.

**'So 'Mione you fort 'bout if your comin' back.'**

All the staff looked up from their plates. This is what they had been waiting for all day. To know whether or not there best student was coming back to Hogwarts for her final year. Hermione looked at Hagrid and replied.

**'Actually Hagrid I have decided.'**

She went back to eating leaving her reply open like that. It was funny to her to play games with them. They got so uptight and impatient. The teachers were confused and annoyed she hadn't giving them a straight answer. Hagrid pressed on.

**'And...'**

'And you must understand that my decision was all my own and is exactly what I want to do. I think that it will benefit all those around me and I have thought long and hard about this. It wasn't an easy decision to make at all-'

'Miss Granger, please stop rambling and tell us if you are staying or not!'

'We want to no if we get our best witch back or not!'

Hermione smiled at her Professors.

**'You know this place would fall apart with out me and I'm going to miss it so much.'**

The whole table held their breath. She picked up her pumpkin juice and had a long sip. She finally put the glass down and said.

**'But I think I will grace you with my presence for another year.'**

The whole table let out their breath. They were so relived.

'Thank god, we thought we would have to lock you in your room and teach you at night!'

'O Professor Sprout do you think that the walls of Hogwarts could keep me here if I really didn't want to be?'

'No I guess not.'

'It's a good thing I'm staying then isn't it!'

The whole table was laughing and telling her how glad they where that she was staying. Once everyone had calmed down and desert was being served, Dumbledore turned to Hermione.

**'It really is good that you are staying Maya, because now I can offer you the position of head girl.'**

The whole table was silent. You could hear a pin dropped. They were all thinking the same thing as well. _What was he playing at! He had just appointed Malfoy head boy!_ All the staff knew now that it was Malfoy in the club, and that it hadn't ended on good terms. They knew Dumbledore would have done thins for a good reason so they just had to trust him.

**'Head girl? I really don't think I'm the person for that Albus. I mean do you want all the younger years looking up as _me_ as their role model? I really don't think that is wise.'**

'Maya, I can't think of a perfect role model than the saviour of the Wizard kind. You saved all of their lives and I can't think of a better way to repay you. I no it isn't much but you are the perfect person and only person I would have considered for the position.'

'O whoa, well that's um. That's defiantly something! Can I think about it?'

'Of course you can. But I must ask you to tell me in a few days.'

END FLASHBACK

Hermione had finally made her decision about being head girl and had to go and tell Dumbledore the news. She stooped outside the gargoyle statue and muttered

**'Haribo.'**

The statue sprang to life and she made her way up the spiralling staircase. She knocked on the door and walked through into his office. She saw that Dumbledore and McGonagal were waiting for her. They didn't have very excited faces on, actually their faces were quite sombre.

**'Good morning Maya, how are you?'**

'I'm fine thank you Albus and your self?'

'Yes absolutely fine. I'm sorry to ask this straight away but have you made your decision?'

'Yes I have and I think I will take you up on your offer.'

'That's excellent Maya that really is. But I must ask you a very serious question. Before the Head boy gets here actually.'

'Ok.'

'Have you ever heard of a Seer Script?'

'Erm, yes I have. They're very rare scriptures made by true Seer's. Much like a prophecy but on parchment. They are usually made on the night of important significance in time. They also cancel out any linking prophecies made about one or all of the people involved. The last one that was made was such along time ago, when Salazar Slytherin was around. Thousands prophecy's have been made but not a Seer Script.'

'You are very true on most of that Maya. You see I have uncovered a seer script that was made about 50 years ago. It was actually made my our very own Divination teacher's grandmother.'

'Really? Who is it about?'

'It's actually about you.'

'But that's impossible I wasn't around 50 years ago.'

'Perhaps if I showed you it would make more sense?'

Dumbledore waved his hand and a very old piece of parchment appeared in front of him. Most of the words were very old and unreadable. Hermione was very confused. Who would right a Seer Script about her? 50years ago? What happened 50years ago that is of great importance? Dumbledore waved his hand again and the words appeared in front of Hermione.

Tonight an evil shall rise.

An evil never seen before.

Massacre and murder this evil will cause to worlds not just his own, to clean the world of impurity.

Tonight when he sacrificed a curse be placed upon him and land.

As kin he killed his father, because of blood not as pure.

His blood now sown in the land will bring power to an equal.

Not of blood but of ability.

Where he rest no harm can come to those of a lesser blood.

'Till 50 years the curse is placed, until a battle will commence, on the resting place where lesser blood is sown.

A witch will be the saviour of those who do good.

Not of age but still the salvation of two worlds.

One of which cannot defend and those of no blood.

The other of mixed and magic is key.

A friend of his foe who setback yet helped his return. And has a third of golden thread.

She is a lesser blood but has the power of a pure.

50years from this eve she comes to save, but calls upon her inner strength and kills the evil blood.

40 followers shall fall with their master but one whose intensions were good will survive.

She cannot control this power without her hearts desire.

She is destined to be the greatest witch of her time, her power will serve her good.

She blames her self for ruining lives, a murderer is seen as a mirror image.

She runs away from her destiny and can only be brought back by a pureblood traitor -'

Again Dumbledore waved his hand and the words disappeared. Hermione was no fool, she knew that wasn't finished.

**'It wasn't finished.'**

'That's all we recovered.'

'I don't believe you. I think there is more to it.'

'Maya that's all we have.'

There was no point pressing the issue, she was sure they'd tell her in their own time. However in her head she was going over and over what it had said. There was silence in the room, Dumbledore and McGonagal watched her closely.

"**Tonight an evil shall rise. An evil never seen before. Massacre and murder this evil will cause to worlds not just his own, to clean the world of impurity.' I take it that this means Voldermort? Evil and wanting a pureblood race?'**

The two Professors nodded and she carried on.

"**Tonight when he sacrificed an curse be placed upon him and land. As kin he killed his father, because of blood not as pure.' Erm he killed his father because he was a Muggle? So a cursed was placed upon him?'**

'Yes that's right.'

'So that's probably the significant night, when it was made?'

Again they nodded at her.

"His blood now sown in the land, will bring power to an equal. Not of blood but of ability. Where he rest no harm can come to those of a lesser blood.' I'm not to sure on this.'

'Where his father's blood has been spilled, it's been marked as a place for an equal in power for Voldermort. We no that it wasn't a pureblood because it says not of blood. So where this blood is no harm can come to a half blood, Muggle born or Muggle.'

'Ok. 'Till 50 years the curse is placed, until a battle will commence, on the resting place where lesser blood is sown.' That obviously meant the night at the Riddle Mansion. I take it that was exactly 50years from the Script?

She didn't let them answer she just carried on

"**A witch will be the saviour of those who do good. Not of age but still the salvation of two worlds.**

One of which cannot defend and those of no blood.

The other of mixed and magic is key.' Ok so about 16 and saved both the Muggle world and the Magic.'

"**She is a lesser blood but has the power of a pure. 50years from this eve she comes to save, but calls upon her inner strength and kills the evil blood.**

40 followers shall fall with their master but one who's intensions were good will survive.' Ok pretty self explanatory apart from her inner strength.'

'That means that the power you posses now has always been inside of you and that night at the Riddle Mansion, his fathers blood help you to uncover it.'

'Ok so what I got from this is that a witch around 16 who's a Muggle born is supposed to be the greatest witch of all time? Ok but how has that got to do with me?'

'It can only be you.'

'I'm sure that there are plenty of 16 year old Muggle born's not just me.'

"A friend of his foe who setback yet helped his return. And has a third of golden thread.' '40 followers shall fall with their master but one who's intensions were good will survive.' 'She blames her self for ruining lives, a murderer is seen as a mirror image.' You are friends with his biggest foe - Harry who set him back AND helped him return. The three of you are called the GOLDEN TRIO, one third of the golden thread? Ok that night at the Riddle Mansion you killed 40 Death Eaters but Professor Snape survived because he was on the light side. And you blame your self for your parent's death and ruining their families. You see your self as a murderer. You see Maya there is nobody else.'

There was silence in the room. Hermione didn't no what to say. All the signs were pointing to her but she didn't want to believe it. Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door and some people walking in. She spun around to see who had entered, she saw Snape and a boy about her age wearing black jeans and suede back shoes, with a black long sleeved stop with a green dragon on the front. She recognised his immediately.

**'You.'**

Draco Malfoy was up early, he hadn't been sleeping well since he met Maya. All he could think about was her and the incredible attraction they had between each other. He was sure he wasn't the only one to feel it, something like that had to be felt on both parts and there was no way in hell that he had imagined it. He had to see her again, just to talk to her. He hoped that she would be coming back to school because he could see her then, she was with Dumbledore and McGonagal so his chances were high of seeing her again. But then with everything that she had been through he wasn't sure if she wanted to come back. And what if she didn't want to see him again because he was a Death Eater? He had to explain to her again that he didn't want the mark and never did.

He went into his kitchen to get himself a glass of water. When he came back he saw two owls sitting on his coffee table with letters attached to their feet. He picked up the black and grey owl he recognised as his potions masters owl and read the letter.

Draco,

Today you should receive your port key to bring you to Hogwarts. Meet me in the Entrance hall and I will escort you up to the Headmasters office. Yes I do know who the Head girl is but I think I will leave that as a surprise. I understand that you want to keep Maya around in our world but she is a very independent women now and will do as she pleases, not what other people tell her. That sort of connection with a person is very rare but not unheard of. Personally I have not experienced it but you and her are in totally different circumstances.

What? What the hell does that mean?

_I am sorry if I phrased anything wrong but I don't beat around the bush, I had to put it straight and clear to you that there are things we must talk about._

S.Snape

That letter had confused him greatly. What was he talking about 'different circumstances?' there was defiantly something's he had to talk about with him, get things straight in his head and between them. He turned to the other owl and read the letter. Upon opening it a golden Gallon fell out.

_Mr Malfoy._

The Gallon you have in your hand is your portkey. At exactly 11.00 it will be activated and bring you to the Hogwarts entrance hall. Make sure you have all your personal belongings with you. Upon arrival Professor Snape will bring you to my office where you will meet the head girl. We will go over you duties and take you to your new dorm.

I expect to see you soon

Headmaster Albus Dumbledore

Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

He looked at his wrist watch and saw he had 45 minutes to pack. Dam. He ran around grabbing everything - clothes, books, potions ect. And throwing it all in his trunk. He didn't care about folding, as long as it all fit he didn't care. He looked at his watch again and saw he had two minutes. He locked his truck and held the handle. He put the coin in his hand and waited for that familiar feeling.

His watch beeped 11 and he felt that sickening feeling in his stomach and that familiar tug around his navel. It took a few seconds but he felt ground beneath him.

He tried to get his balance but feel backwards over his trunk and landed on his backside. He heard someone snigger in front of him. He looked up to see the amused face of Severus Snape.

'**Nice entrance.'**

'Shut up and help me.'

He held out his hand and Snape pulled him up.

**'I hate those bloody things. Anyway can you tell me who the head girl is now?'**

'No, come on you can see for your self.'

'Ok what about this thing you want to talk to me about?'

'No it can wait till later.'

They walked the familiar root to Dumbledore's office. Once at the statue Snape gave the password

**'Haribo.'**

Draco looked at him questionably.

**'Some Muggle sweet.'**

Draco nodded and they made their way up the staircase. Snape knocked and they walked into the office. In front of him he saw Dumbledore sitting at his desk, McGonagal sitting beside him and a girl about his age standing. She wore a tight v-neck black t-shirt with a pink heart on the front and 'love me or hate me. I don't give a FCUK' on the back. She also wore a black knee length denim skirt and black and pink flip-flops. You could see her belly button which had a pink crystal bar. He recognised her immediately, but before he could say anything she said.

**'You.'**

A.N ok that's chapter 8. For those of you that wanted him back, well he's baaacckk! he he. But for how long?

If you review then I might update sooner!


	9. Chapter9: The letter from no one

****

Tears of a confused mind

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

A.N Thank you to my reviewers

Emma: Thanks and now I have!

****

PinappleCube: Thanks! And you don't have to wait any longer!

****

Spykigurl: Thanks! and yes one of my other reviewers picked up on this, no its not deliberate, it's just when I type I forget, I just want to get the next chapter updated that it doesn't cross my mind. I am now re-reading each and every chapter to make fewer mistakes. "_and let me guess Hermione can tell Draco that she can get rid of the tattoo for him but she wont have the heart to make him go through the pain of the curse ... but I might be wrong . anyways keep writing _!" Nope! nothing to do with the tattoos! The tattoos and the curse aren't connected in any way shape or form!

****

Chapter 9: The letter from no one

He recognised her immediately, but before he could say anything she said.

**'You.'**

They stood there staring at each other for a few seconds. Neither could believe that the person they had been dreaming and thinking about constantly was standing just feet away from them. Draco thought all his Christmas's had come at once. He wanted to run up to her and kiss the life out of her, just to show her how much he wanted her. But what if she didn't want to see him? What if he imagined everything and she was horrified to see him?

Even though she didn't show it Hermione was so happy she had seen him again. She too couldn't believe that he was standing mere feet away from her and she was just standing there. But a second thought struck her. Was this what he wanted as well? He seemed shocked to see her, was that because he was disgusted to be in her presences? McGonagal and Snape smiled at the two teenagers. Hermione turned to Dumbledore.

**'Albus, what are you playing at?'**

Draco's heart plummeted. He was right, she didn't want to see him. She obviously didn't feel that connection between them. He couldn't believe this, he was so sure. He took a deep breath and composed himself. Being a Malfoy he was taught never to let his emotions show or show any humiliation to the Malfoy name. So he didn't

**'Yes Dumbledore I have to agree. If I had known from the beginning that I was to share a dorm with a Mudblood - a murderer at that then I would have refused the position.'**

Slap. Hermione couldn't believe the words that just come out of his mouth. He called her a murderer. Just as she was getting back on track he said something like that. She couldn't understand why he was being so cold towards her either. She was positive she wasn't the only one to feel the intensity between them. She felt as if a bucket of ice cold water was poured over her. She was dam sure that she wasn't the only one to feel that connection though.

**'Excuse me? You weren't saying I was a Mudblood when you had your tongue down my throat in that club.'**

It was true he didn't care if she was Muggle-born then and he didn't care now. His father brought him up to believe that a Muggle-born was inferior, but as he grew up he had his own opinions that contradicted his fathers.

**'Things change. It was before I found out who you were or should I say WHAT your are. How you could appoint a murderer is beyond me Dumbledore.'**

The Professors stood their gobsmacked. What they hell was going on? He had called her a murderer twice now and things weren't going to get any better. They were pretty sure that he would need a hospital bed soon if he pissed her off anymore. Hermione was still in shock at the way he was acting. She wasn't angry, no, she was upset. A tear escaped her eye and she faced him full on.

**'And to think I actually liked you. I didn't care you were a Death Eater! In the club when we touched I actually thought we had some sort of energy or connection between us. I was pretty sure that I wasn't the only one to think or feel it. And I thought it grew when we kissed. O how wrong I was.'**

'You no what? You weren't the only one to think that! I couldn't believe the connection I had with you. I thought I was imagining it! I haven't stopped thinking about you since you ran out that dam club! All I can think about is having you near me! And ever since I walked in this room all I wanted to do was kiss you.'

'Well good because that's what I want you to do!'

'Good.'

With that Draco took two strides across the room and put his arm around Hermione's waist. In one fell swoop he captured her lips in a heated kiss. Hermione wrapped her arms around his neck while his other hand moved to the side of her face. He nibbled on her bottom lip, begging for entrance. She willingly agreed and their tongues communicated their needs and desires to one another. This was the connection they both needed. To be so close that they could feel each others body heat. The both needed the same thing and now they had it. They didn't want each other, no, they needed each other. To be so close that they could feel each other's heart beats. To be so close that they were one. They had dreamed of this for far to long.

The intensity of the kiss grew and Hermione let a moan escape her lips. Her mind was racing. Finally she had him back in her life. She felt so safe and secure around him. Nothing else mattered. Draco felt the same. His past lay forgotten and the only thing that mattered in his life now was the woman in his arms. He never wanted to let her go.

The professors were in shock. Not two seconds ago they were screaming at each other and he had called her a murderer and now they were lip locked in the middle of the room. Dumbledore had a smile on his face, he hoped this would happen, even if they did get off to a rocky start. Snape just shook his head and muttered.

**'Teenagers.'**

The two finally pulled apart for air, but never letting go. Draco rested his forehead against hers and looked into those eyes he loved so much. The blue was so deep and you could get lost in them. He could see that she had flickers of green and amber in them as well. He wiped one of her tears away. She could see the never ending greys and silvers in his eyes. They were so rare and so beautiful.

**'I'm sorry, I never meant to call you a Mudblood or a murderer.'**

'No it doesn't matter.'

McGonagal cleared her throat and the two turned to see the three Professors staring at them with mixed expressions. Dumbledore motioned them to sit down in the chairs in front of him, so they did. Their hands were locked as if they felt if they let go they would loose each other.

**'Ok well now that you've met each other, I hope you can understand why I wanted to keep this a secret. I take it you are happy to see each other? Yes, that's what I thought. Well we don't have time now before lunch to go over your duties so we can do that after lunch. I think we have enough time however for the two of you to see your new dorm. So if you'd like to follow me.'**

Dumbledore rose from his seat and went to the door, he was followed by the two professors and then Hermione and Draco who still had their hands locked.

The walked in silence down the corridor to their dorm room. Hermione and Draco kept steeling glances at one another. Draco however couldn't contain himself any longer. He had to get her alone. Once the Professors had rounded the corridor he pulled her down one of the dark off corridors. She let out a small yelp as he pushed her against the wall and kissed her furiously. She kissed him back in surprise, but pushed him back after a few seconds.

**'What has gotten into you?'**

'I couldn't wait any more, I had to get you alone and this was the best option until after the meeting later.'

'But we won't be able to find our way to our dorm, we'll be lost!'

'So? We'll find it later.'

'What if we get caught?'

'We will cross that bridge when we come to it.'

She smiled at him and he leant back down and kissed her. She let out a small giggle as he ran his hand down the side of her breasts and then let them rest around her waist. She moved her hands so the were up the back of his shirt, pulling him against her.

Further down the corridor. The professors continued to the head dorm unaware that the two had stopped.

**'Albus I understand you want to keep it from them but they have a right to no their destiny.'**

'Yes but they are so happy at the moment and have just found each other-'

'Shh.'

'What is it Severus?'

'Can you hear that?'

'No, I can't hear anything.'

'Exactly.'

The three of them spun around to see an empty corridor. They groaned and rolled their eyes. They heard a faint giggle coming from where they just were. They made their way back.

Draco was now attacking Hermione's neck with little butterfly kisses. Sucking, kissing and biting her neck.

**'Dray come on we better catch up.'**

'In a minute, im busy.'

'Look if we leave now, we could always skip lunch?'

He raised his head and looked at her questionably.

**'Yeah?'**

They then heard someone clear their throat. They looked at the entrance of the corridor and saw three very annoyed looking professors. McGonagal reached out and grabbed Hermione's hand and dragged her away from Draco. She pulled her down the corridor.

**'Hermione-'**

'Amaya.'

'Amaya, you shouldn't behave in such ways when you are head girl. You have responsibilities now and shouldn't be getting caught fooling around with the head boy in corridors. Now you will stay up here with me until we get to the dorm and then I expect you at lunch within 10 minutes where you will sit AWAY from Mr Malfoy. Do you understand?

'Yes.'

Hermione heard a groan from behind her. She knew that Draco had probably gotten the same 'act your age' 'you have responsibilities' talk from Dumbledore and Snape. She let a little smile escape her lips as she realised that he had two of them to deal with and she only had one. They continued to walk down the corridor in silence until they reached a portrait of the three professors. They were sitting on a very large black couch smiling happily at them apart from Snape who had a scowl on his face. Once they stopped outside the picture, Draco came up behind Hermione and ran his hands along her arse and then snake them around her waist. This was cut short by Snape. He saw this and pulled him back by the scruff of his collar. Hermione heard him mutter

**'Spoil sport.'**

'Teenagers.'

The Dumbledore in the picture said to them that the heads must agree on a password and then change it together on the last day of the month every month. McGonagal then turned to them.

**'Ok so what shall your password be?'**

Before Draco even had time to even think of anything Hermione shouted out

**'Freak in the bed.'**

Draco burst out laughing, Snape was trying hard to cover his laughs with coughs, while Dumbledore let a smile creep up on his lips. McGonagal however looked disgusted.

**'Now really I don't think that's quite acceptable-'**

'ACCEPTED!'

McGonagal turned to the portrait with a disgusted look on her face.

'**Now really.'**

The portrait swung open and McGonagal entered pulling Hermione along with her. Hermione looked around her knew common room and was surprised. It was beautiful. It had red walls with silver borders and a silver Hogwarts crest above a fireplace opposite the entrance of their room. Where she stood, either side of her was two tables. One had parchment and quills on it so she assumed that was their desk. The other one had a large bouquet of red and white roses. Around the fireplace was a large grey/silver leather couch and two matching recliners either side of it. There was red cousins thrown around the room. To the left of them was a small kitchen. The furnishings were gold while the Muggle appliances were a pale green to the right of them was another room. She assumed that was their own library. She looked above her a saw the top floor. There were two main staircases either side of the fireplace, which led up to the top level. There was a balcony corridor, which ran through 3 doors above the fireplace and over the library and kitchen.

**'To the left is Mr Malfoy's room and to the right is yours. You share a bathroom in the middle. Ok we expect you down at lunch in 10 minutes and if you are not there we will come and find you.'**

The two of them nodded and went up their respected staircases.

Hermione entered her room and was amazed at its size. Directly in front of her was a maple four poster king size bed. Her sheets were in a gold and had a red lion on them. At the bottom of her bed was a day bed with some gold throw pillows. To the right of her bed were two huge glass windows that led onto a private balcony. Well she thought it was private it actually ran around the side of the tower and connected with Malfoy's. To the left of her bed was a walk in wardrobe. The flooring in her room was wood and matched the colour of her bed. Her walls were a red with gold leaf designs. Also on the left was another door.

As she walked through this door she saw the bathroom. And it was huge and white! To her left was a walk down shower, which could fit about 5 people with the curtain closed. Either side of this was his and her sinks. To her right was a swimming pool. Well it was a size of a swimming pool. It was a round bath/hot tub. It had many different taps and nozzles, which she assumed different bubbles, and scents came out of. You could probably fit about 10 people in this. O she could have some fun in there. Straight in front of her was another door.

Once through this door she saw it was Draco's room and it was dark. It was identical to her room but he had black and green instead of red and gold. His balcony doors were open so she thought she would take a look around. On his chest were a few pictures. She picked one of them up and looked at the person in the picture. She was beautiful, she had long white blond hair which flowed right down her back. Her eyes were blue and shone above anything else in the picture. She looked a lot like Draco. _It must be his mum she_ thought. Hermione was so absorbed in the picture that she never saw somebody sneak up behind her.

**'BOO!'**

She jumped a foot in the air and dropped the picture on the floor. She spun around to see a smirking Draco behind her.

**'O, I'm sorry I'll fix it.'**

She bent down to pick up the shards of glass but Draco stopped her and picked them up himself. He picked up a particularly sharp piece and cut the palm of his hand.

**'Shit.'**

Hermione looked at the small puddle of blood forming in his hand and pulled it towards her. She wasn't sure what made her do it but she placed her hand over his and a faint white glow emitted from her hand. After a few seconds she drew it back and looked at Draco's hand. The cut had gone. Draco looked at her confused.

**'I didn't know you could heal.'**

'Me either.'

Draco could see that she was just as confused as he was, so he decided not to press it.

**'Come on we better go, or we will have the lot of 'em looking for us.'**

She smiled up at him and they made their way out of the common room and down to the great hall.

All the way down she couldn't stop thinking about what she just did. I can heal. I can heal. What? I can heal. This isn't good. My powers are growing. She would have to tell Dumbledore as well. She was pretty sure that when she went in there Draco would tell them what happened and they would question her a thousand a second. She couldn't put up with that just yet. No. She had just got Draco back and they would just confuse her more with her power. She really wanted to be on her own for a while, figure out what was going on with her. They reached the doors and Hermione stopped.

**'What is it?'**

'I, I'm just going to go to the bathroom ok? I'll be in a minute.'

'Ok.'

He gave her a quick kiss and went into the main hall. Hermione turned around and sprinted back to her common room. Once outside the portrait, she stopped and caught her breath. The picture of Dumbledore addressed her.

**'What is it child? Shouldn't you be eating?'**

'Yeah, but I'm a bit cold I want a cloak. Freak in the bed.'

Once in her common room, she relaxed. Maybe a few hours sleep would do her some good. She walked up to her bedroom and flopped down on her bed. She only sat there for a few seconds when an owl flew in through her window. She didn't recognise the owl, but she assumed it was from Harry or Ron, nobody else would be contacting her. She tore the letter open and read it.

__

Think you're safe at Hogwarts? Think again bitch. We can find you and get you wherever you are. That fool Dumbledore can't keep an eye on you all day every day and when he's not around, We will get you. You can't get away from us Mudblood bitch. You will pay for what you've done, rest assured. YOU ARE SAFE NOWHERE. WE WILL GET YOU BITCH AND MAKE YOU PAY FOR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE. WATCH YOUR BACK BITCH, BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY ARE. You are murdering scum and revenge shall be ours. Killing our lord will now result in the death of a filthy Mudblood whore. Don't get to comfortable whore, we are after you.

Hermione dropped the letter and looked around her room. They could see her and she knew it. They were watching her every move. She was so scared and frightened. She wanted it to go away. To leave her alone for good. She ran into her bathroom and locked the door. Alone. That's all she wanted to be.

**__**

Murderer. That's what you are and always will be. Nobody will care for you. Ever. All those you love will die at your hands. Because you are a murderer. You don't deserve to live. Run, don't come back, die. MURDERER. DIE. NOBODY WANTS YOU AROUND. EVER.

Hermione heard this voice again and started to shake. She couldn't find her voice to shout or anything. She was too weak. Her eyes began to droop and she felt dizzy. She collapsed on the floor knocking a vase on the floor. She hit her head on the floor and closed her eyes. She could hear a faint banging and somebody calling her name. Blackness.

Draco walked into the great hall to the head table. He was greeted by Dumbledore and Snape. He sat down and McGonagal instantly asked where Hermione was.

**'I tired her out. Shes sound asleep.'**

The professors all looked at him shocked. He laughed at their expressions.

**'I'm kidding she went to the bathroom, but she should be back by now.'**

Draco let the professors start to eat before he turned to Dumbledore.

**'Sir, did Amaya tell you she can heal?'**

Madam Pomfrey's head shot up.

**'What do you mean heal?'**

'Well I cut myself and Amaya healed it. She put her hand over mine and there was this tingly feeling and then when we looked the cut had totally gone.'

All the teachers looked at him curiously. Madam Pumfrey grabbed his hand and examined it. Nobody said a word until she had finished.

**'Only a faint scare. Not even my potions could have done a better job. Albus they're growing.'**

'I can see yes. And I'm worried to her whereabouts. You said she only went to the bathroom?'

'Yes.'

'Ok, well I think we should look for her, if her powers are growing then, she might be in pain or danger. Check all the corridors, library, and dungeons. Can you check all the bathrooms as well. We'll check the head tower and Gryffindor tower.'

All the teachers rose from their seats and immediately began to search for her. Draco, Dumbledore, Snape and McGonagal made their way to the head tower. Once in they franticly searched the lower level.

****

'Mr Malfoy, please check her room.'

Draco turned white with fear. He raced up the staircase and into her room. He looked around but nothing. Nothing but a letter. He picked it up and showed it to Dumbledore. Dumbledore's face also turned white and handed the letter to the other two professors.

**'We have to find her.'**

'Yes Mr Malfoy-'

That's when they heard a smash coming from the bathroom. Draco spun around and started banging on the bathroom door.

**'Amaya? Amaya are you in there?'**

Nothing

**'AMAYA! ANSWER ME!'**

Dumbledore pulled him back and cast a spell on the door, which made it shoot open, and there they saw Hermione on the bathroom floor sweating and shaking.

A.N. well............. Review please

love you all lots and lots!

Dark raven

-x-


	10. Chapter10: Dreams that uncover the truth

****

Tears of a confused mind

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or anything J.K Rowling has created. I just use some of her characters in my stories.

****

A.N: Thank you to all my reviewers.

Mrs.Drew Malfoy: Thanks I'm glad you like it. And there is lots more to come!

GryffindorBabex13: Thanks it means a lot to me that you like it! thanks a lot!

Paprika90: Glad you like it! you'll find out about the voices in this chapter so i won't ruin it for you! And I'm not saying about the powers because it will spoil it but yes they are growing. Here's the next chapter!

ScreamingChild: Read on and you'll find out about the voice! I'm sorry about the chapters, I'm going as fast as i can! i have three stories!

****

Chapter 10: Dreams that uncover the truth.

Hermione heard this voice again and started to shake. She couldn't find her voice to shout or anything. She was too weak. Her eyes began to droop and she felt dizzy. She collapsed on the floor knocking a vase on the floor. She hit her head on the floor and closed her eyes. She could hear a faint banging and somebody calling her name.

****

'Maya!'

Blackness.

Hermione was by the lake. Lying cold and lifeless on the floor, the wind blowing around her. Her eyes fluttered open and she looked around confused. _Where am I? The lake? How the hell did I get out here? Where is everybody? _ Hermione rubbed her eyes and looked up at the castle. No one. There was nobody around, nobody looking for her, not even Finch and his flea ridden cat. A particularly sharp wind sent shivers down her spin, so she hugged her self. She turned to walk up to the castle to find someone, anyone.

She wasn't sure what made her do it but she turned to the forbidden forest. She saw a figure leaning against one of the trees watching her. When they saw that Hermione had turned around so it moved towards her. Hermione didn't really know what to do, she just stood there and watched the figure approach. It was about her height and was wearing a black robe, she couldn't see it's face, but there was something familiar about it. When it got within a few feet of her she asked who it was.

**'Who are you?'**

'All in good time _Hermione.'_

'How do you know who I am?'

'Because I am you.'

The figure was now standing in front of her. She still couldn't see it's face. _How did it know my name? Because I am you? What the hell?_

****

'I'm sorry, what do you mean _because I am you?'_

Chuckling the figure opened her arms to the surroundings.

**__**

'Hermione, do you know where you are?'

Confused, Hermione gave the figure a curious look. Of course she knew where she was.

****

'Yeah, I'm at Hogwarts.'

'Yes and no. You are at Hogwarts yes, but in the dream world. You are currently dreaming. So you are here and you are not. Do you understand.'

'Yes I think so. But why am I here and who are you?'

'Like I said. I am you. I am your thoughts, your feelings and your emotions. I am your conscience, your mind, your soul. I am you.'

This didn't really help her at all. How can this thing be her soul and feelings when they don't take a solid form. They are a emotion not a person.

****

'I-I-I don't understand.'

'Have you ever heard someone say 'my intuition?' or 'I just have that feeling?''

'Yeah.'

'Well that's their inner self. Their true self.'

This made slightly more sense to her. She was also wondering why she had never read about the 'dream world' before.

****

'Ok. I think I understand. But why are you here? Why am I here?'

'I think I should also tell you, that the voice that you've been hearing is also your inner self. That's how you really feel.'

'That was you? I mean me? I mean us?'

'Yes.

Hermione's anger rose inside her. The voice she was hearing, that was telling her that she should be dead was standing right in front of her. She was trying to process everything in her mind.

**'So th-th-the voice was me?'**

'Yes, what you've been hearing is exactly how you feel. I've been telling you nothing more nor less of exactly how you feel, or what you really think.'

Hermione was taken back by this. She wasn't expecting it. I really do believe that I'm a murderer don't I? Now that she thought about it, it did make some kind of sense. She had been telling everyone that she was a murderer, so why had this come as a shock? She supposed that hearing somebody else say it made sense.

The figure watching her could read every emotion she was going through, confusion, anger, acceptance.

**'I'm a murderer.'**

'Yes, you are. You didn't just kill 40 people that night Hermione no, I want to show you some things that your actions caused.'

Not waiting for a reply from Hermione, The figure placed a hand on her arm. Hermione felt a sick a dizzy sensation in her head and stomach, much like a portkey she thought. To save her self from being sick, Hermione closed her eyes. When she felt solid ground beneath her, she opened her eyes.

She was in somebody's house. She didn't recognise it, but just by looking around she could tell that they were rich and defiantly pureblood wizards. One thing she did notice was that the figure wasn't there with her. Hermione was standing at the bottom of a staircase in front of the main door. She jumped when she heard the door bell. She spun around when she heard footsteps coming from behind her. A woman of about 35 came out of what looked like the living room. She walked straight past Hermione without even battering an eye lid. She went straight to the front door and opened it.

**'Can I help you?'**

There were two men in dress robes at the door. They too didn't seem to acknowledge her either. She figured that she was probably invisible to them.

**'Are you Mrs Ariana Avery?'**

'Yes I am. Is there something wrong?'

The two men took of the hats they were wearing and their faces became solemn.

**'We are from the Ministry. Department of auroras actually. May we come in? It's about Mr Fredrick Avery.'**

'Fredrick? What's happened? Where is he? What's happened?'

'Who is it dear?'

The woman turned her head to face the room she just came from and shouted to somebody in there.

**'It's the Ministry.'**

She opened the door and beckoned the Ministry officials in. Hermione followed the three of them into the living room, where there was two elderly people sitting by the fire.

****

'The Ministry? What do they want?'

'It's about Fredrick pops.'

'My boy? What about him?'

The elderly man turned to the men in the door way.

**'We are not sure if you are aware of Fredrick Avery's activities last night-'**

'He was working at the Ministry, He told us that he had some unfinished business to attend to with his boss.'

'Um, we regret to inform you Mrs Avery, but he wasn't at the Ministry last night. He was at the Riddle Mansion with 39 Death Eaters and He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.'

'Preposterous! My son? A Death Eater? Working with the dark lord? No, I won't believe it. Where is he? Let me talk to him.'

Then it all clicked for Hermione. This was the morning after the attack. And Avery must of been one of the Death Eaters she killed. The ministry must be telling them what happened. She was surprised that his family didn't know he was a Death Eater.

The ministry officials shifted uncomfortably on the spot.

**'Well Mr Avery. We are not sure if you are aware of the attacks the happened last night concerning You-Know-Who?'**

'Yes there was a major attack where lots of his followers were killed-'

'Please tell me it wasn't my Freddie. Tell me he wasn't there.'

The women was now in tears. The elderly man was staring into the fire with disbelief and the elderly woman had silent tears coming down her cheeks.****

'I'm sorry, But Mr Fredrick Avery was a Death Eater and was killed last night in a freak attack, with You-Know-Who and 40 Death Eaters.'

Silence. The woman was crying, she couldn't believe her husband had just been killed. The elderly man was in shock and was consoling his wife who was weeping. Hermione was seeing the effects of her actions, and what it did to a family.

**'I'm sorry, but we are under orders to check any known Death Eaters family for the dark mark.'**

The elderly man shot up and made his way to the men. He was furious. He pulled up his sleeve and shoved it in the men's faces. There was no mark. He pulled his daughter-in-laws arm up as well as well as his wife. None of them had the mark.

**'I'm sorry Mr Avery but we are under orders.'**

'Yeah, we've just lost a son and found out he was a Death Eater. You should take that into account next time. We are grieving. My son! He was a good man. He never did anything wrong, he just worked for a living to support his family. Why would he get into such things?'

'We don't know Mr Avery.'

Then Mrs Avery's head shot up. She still had tears down her face but she looked directly at the men. Hermione was standing against the wall, not really knowing what to do or say. She couldn't really take it all in. She had ruined this family.

**'Can-can you t-t-tell us wh-wh-what hap-happened?'**

'The Ministry are not sure their selves. As far as we are aware, You-Know-Who had Harry Potter and a friend captured and was planning on killing them, when a young witch turned up, we believe a friend of Harry Potter's and sent a freak killing curse on the Death Eaters and You-Know-Who.'

'A y-young wit-witch? How can she kill 40 Death Eaters in one curse?'

'We are not sure our selves. It seems like a freak accident or something.'

'Who was she? Her name?'

'We cannot disclose that information at this time Mrs Avery.'

Mrs Avery nodded her head. The two men turned and left leaving Hermione in the room with a family distraught from loosing a son she had killed. Nobody said anything for ages until a little blond girl of about 6 years old came running into the room and straight for her mum.

'**Whys mummy crying? Where's daddy mummy? Is he coming home?'**

'Baby girl daddy's not coming home. Mummy's crying because shes upset darling.'

The little girl sat on her mums lap confused. She wiped some of her mums tears away. Hermione just stood there, she didn't know what to do.

**'Why isn't daddy coming home? Doesn't he love me anymore?'**

'No, no he loves you baby, he was just taken away from us by a very bad person.'

Hermione had tears falling down her cheeks. A little girl didn't have a father now. And she did that.

****

'He doesn't love me. I was a naughty girl and that's why he's not coming home.'

Hermione couldn't believe that she was blaming herself.

****

'No honey, you were a good girl. He loves you so much and he loves me and pops and grams. But he-'

Mrs Avery couldn't continue. The elderly man stood up and picked the little girl up.

**'Pops-'**

'It's ok sweetheart. Daddy isn't coming home because he was taken to a better place. And don't worry the person that did this to him will be punished for taken your daddy away from us ok? Now go and play hun.'

This was all her fault. To this family they had lost a husband, a son and a father. And she did that. She made this family lose something so important to them. She ruined this family. It was her fault the little girl didn't have a father. It was her fault the wife lost her husband and is now a widow and has to raise a child on her own. It was her fault that the elderly couple has lost their son. No parent should outlive their child. Hermione closed her eyes and let some tears fall.

She felt that familiar sick feeling and knew she was moving somewhere. When she opened her eyes, she knew she was back at Hogwarts. This time the figure was in front of her.

**'Have fun?'**

'I'm sorry, I never meant for that to happen. I never wanted to ruin anybody's family. I'm so sorry.'

'Well that's not all what you did.'

For the second time the figure placed its hand on her arm and yet again Hermione felt like she was going to be sick. Then when she opened her eyes she knew exactly where she was. Her living room. Her house. She looked around and saw her parents sitting in each others arms on the couch. Just seeing that brought tears to her eyes. Her parents were dead and now she was seeing them alive.

**'Mum? Dad?'**

The was about to move closer to her parents when 4 Death Eaters apperated in to the front room. Hermione stood rooted to the spot. This was the night her parents died and she was about to witness it. She saw her father jump up from the couch and stand in front of one of them. He shielded his wife from view.

**'Who are you? Why are you in my house?'**

'Shut up Muggle. We will be the ones to ask questions. You just sit down and shut up.'

He didn't back down. No. He stood his ground.

**'Tell me who you are and why you are here.'**

The Death Eater laughed. Hermione thought there was something oddly familiar about him but she couldn't put her finger on it.

**'Do you know your daughter is a murderer?'**

'My daughter is no such thing! Get out my house! You are trespassing.'

'**You'll find that she is actually. She killed 40 Death Eaters the other night and my Lord. We think that she should be punished for that.'**

'Well I'm glad she got rid of scum like you then! Makes the world a better place!'

She was so proud of her father. He was a brave man and never went out with out a fight. The Death Eater turned around and hit her father. He wasn't a very big man so it sent him to the floor.

**'No! Dad. He didn't do anything to you! I did! I killed them!'**

Hermione really didn't want to witness the deaths of her parents. She was shouting and screaming at them to stop. But they couldn't hear her. She was invisible to them. Her mum jumped up from the sofa and went to her bleeding husband.

**'Leave them alone! It's me you want.'**

'Leave our house. We have done nothing.'

'No, but your daughter has. She took something precious from us, so we will take something precious from her.'

The Death Eater grabbed her mother by her hair and flung her across the room. She smacked her head against the wall. Her dad tried to get up but it resulted in a swift kick in the stomach and another punch in the face.

**'Please leave them alone!'**

Hermione was frantic. She wanted to save her parents, but she couldn't. All she could do was shout and not be heard and watch as the died.

Two of the Death Eaters held back her dad as he tried to get up and the main death eater pulled her mum up.

**'I think I will have a little fun with you first. And I'll make dear husband here watch.'**

'No leave Natalie alone. Take me instead. Kill me.'

'Please stop! Leave them alone.'

'O don't worry we are going to kill you, yes but we are just going to have some fun with her first and then kill her.'

He threw her down on the floor and got one of the Death Eaters to hold her down. Hermione was trying to push his away but nothing. She wasn't about to watch her mother being raped and killed. She couldn't do that. It was all her fault. It was her fault that her parents were being killed. And it was her fault that her mother was about to be raped.

The Death Eater climbed on top of her and with his wand he banished her trousers and top.

**'Dam for a Muggle she's got a good rack.'**

'LEAVE HER ALONE! I'M THE ONE YOU WANT PLEASE!'

The Death Eater slapped her mother across the face after she said he was a filthy piece of work and she was glad the Hermione killed their lord. She saw her mother whimper in pain as he groped her breast. Her father was constantly struggling to get to his wife. Hermione was horrified at what was about to happen. She heard her mum scream with meant that he had obviously forced himself into her. She saw her mothers tears coming down her face, she was looking directly at her husband. She flinched every time he re-entered her. Hermione's eyes were streaming with tears. Her parents locked eyes. Her mother mouthed the words

**'I love you.'**

'I love you too.'

'I'm so sorry. I never meant for this to happen mum. It's all my fault. I'm so sorry!'

Just as she felt the dizzy and sick feeling again she saw a bright green light engulf her whole living room. She knew they were dead.

Hermione collapsed on the floor in tears when she was back at Hogwarts. She just saw her mother and father being killed because of her. It was all her fault.

**'Why? Why are you showing me this?'**

'You need to know. I have one more thing to show you.'

'No, I can't no more. I've seen enough. I know I'm a murderer. I get it. Please don't'

It was to late. She was already somewhere else. This place was cold and had hard tilled floors. She looked around and saw two beds. Hospital beds. She was at St. Mungos. She got up and went to check the names.

MR ANDREW PAUL GRANGER

MRS NATALIE LOUISE GRANGER UNNAMED

****

'Unnamed?'

Hermione was really confused by this. Unnamed? Who or what was that? Two white double doors opened and in walked in Dumbledore, McGonagal and she assumed a healer.

**'Is this the Grangers, Healer Johnson?'**

'Yes Dumbledore it is, the killing curse I'm afraid, we couldn't do anything for them. Death Eaters?'

'Yes. When can they be released?'

'Tomorrow. We need somebody to come down and sign the three death certificates.'

'Three?'

'Yes three. Mr and Mrs Granger and the unborn baby Granger.'

Dumbledore looked at McGonagal. Both had gone as white as a sheet.

**'She was pregnant?'**

Hermione stood there staring at her mother in disbelief. She was pregnant. Now not only had she killed her mother and father, but her little brother or sister.

****

'I take it you didn't know? Yes she was 13 weeks pregnant. A boy I believe.'

She killed her unborn baby brother. Why didn't she know about this?

****

'Is there anyway we can have two death certificates instead of the three. If we tell Hermione her mother was pregnant. God knows what she might do. She already balms herself for her parents death. This was crush her.'

'I understand. Yes we just don't remove the foetus from the womb. Are you sure this is what she will want?'

'It has to be. While she's at Hogwarts she in our care. This is the best option for her.'

They didn't tell her. They weren't going to tell her. How could they not? She killed her baby brother and they weren't going to tell her. How dare they decide what is best for her? The had no right to do that. Hermione stared at Dumbledore and McGonagal, she couldn't believe that they had kept this from her. After everything they had been through, they still hadn't told her. Were they ever going to tell her.

Before Hermione knew it she was back at Hogwarts and staring into the lake. Tears streaming down her face. She was so angry and upset at the same time. She couldn't speak or move. The figure approached her.

**'You did all that you know.'**

'I know.'

'You are a murderer.'

'I'm a murderer I know. I killed my unborn brother. I killed 40 people at the Riddle Mansion. I killed my mother and father. I took their lives away from them. I took a life away from someone who hadn't experienced a natural breath. I should be dead not them. I hurt anyone I get close to'

The figure left Hermione alone. She was thinking about her mum and dad. They must have known she was pregnant. They must hate her for killing their baby.

**'I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. It won't ever happen again. I won't let it. I won't get close to anyone any more. They will only get hurt because of me. I won't let ANYONE feel that kind of pain because of me again. I can't.'**

She was so ashamed of her self. How could she be so evil? So heartless? She was a murderer and didn't care who she hurt in the process. Because of her she killed the people she loved. Because of her, her brother never got to experience life. Hermione continued to cry, watching the lake.

**'I'm a murderer. I'm alone.'**

A.N that was one long chapter!!!!!!!!! my back is killing me! Well tell me what you thought. Any good?

dark raven

-x-


	11. Chapter11: Dream laps

****

Tears of a confused mind

Disclaimer: I own nothing

A.N:

****

Paprika90: thanks a lot, I'm glad you liked it! you don't have to wait any longer! but you might have to for the next one though :s

****

Chapter 11: Dream laps

Draco sat in the hospital wing holding her pale, cold hands as she lay in the bed. He had been with her all night long, the second they found her in the bathroom to this very moment. He hadn't left her side for one second, he wanted to be there for when she woke up. He watched her every moan, turn, sweat bead and cry she let out. He didn't any idea what was going on, all Dumbledore told him is that she would wake up soon. Great comfort that was. He was so worried about this girl. He had only just got her back and now she lay in a hospital bed, unconscious for 18 hours. He didn't want to loose her, it would crush him if she died. He blamed his self for this, if he hadn't left her at the main hall then she wouldn't have gone back to the common room, she wouldn't have found that letter and had to deal with it on her own. She wouldn't be lying here.

It was about 7am and Draco had drifted off to sleep about 30 minutes ago. His head rests on the side of the bed, his hands never leaving hers.

**'I'm a murderer.'**

Draco woke up at the sound of a voice. He looked at Hermione and she was sweating again but this time she was shaking. He shouted out for the nurse and she told him to fetch Dumbledore.

Draco and Dumbledore came rushing back in a few minutes later to see Hermione thrashing around in her bed, shouting and screaming.

****

'Leave them alone! It's me you want.'

She stopped moving and tears began to fall down her face. Draco was worried about her and wanted something done. The nurse kept taking her pulse while Dumbledore just looked at her. He looked in deep thought.

****

'Please leave them alone!'

'Dumbledore do something!'

He put his hand up to silence him. Draco was furious, how can he stand here and watch her go through so much pain and he not do anything.

****

'LEAVE HER ALONE! I'M THE ONE YOU WANT PLEASE!'

There were a few moments of silence where Dumbledore quickly checked her eyes. When Draco got a glimpse of them he saw that the colour of her eye was black and the outside was white. He jumped back in surprise. Dumbledore gave him a sympathetic look. He knew how the boy felt for her and it couldn't be easy for him to see her like this.

****

'I'm so sorry. I never meant for this to happen mum. It's my entire fault. I'm so sorry!'

When Hermione seemed to be calm Dumbledore turned to Draco who still watched Hermione. He never took his eyes off of her.

**'Mr Malfoy, do you know what a dream laps is?'**

He didn't even face the headmaster, he just shook his head in reply.

**'Well a dream laps Mr Malfoy, is a state of consciousness - a potentially fatal one.'**

This is when Draco's head shot up.

**'Fatal? She could die?'**

'Perhaps. A dream laps is when a person becomes unconscious and goes into a state of mind. It basically means that their inner self leaves their body and goes to a place where she feels safe. She is constantly in and out of consciousness - hence the screams. I fear that if she goes too far into her 'safe place' that she will leave us. She might die if we don't save her.'

'Die? DIE? Why aren't you doing anything to save her? Isn't there a way?'

'Yes there is Mr Malfoy, that is what I need you to do. Professor Snape is in his rooms, I need you to go and tell him we need the potion now. We've been waiting for the screams to administer the potion.'

Draco didn't hesitate. He ran from the room and down to the potion masters. Dumbledore watched the boy leave and turned back to Hermione. He hoped that they could bring her back. He really hoped.

****

'I'm a murderer. I'm alone.'

Draco came running back in a few minutes later out of breath and sweating. He raced to her side and asked the headmaster if there was any change. He shook his head and turned to the potions master.

**'Do you have it Severus?'**

'Yes. Minerva should be here any second, do you want me to get Poppy?'

'What? Why do you need so many people?'

'Mr Malfoy, the potion we will be giving her isn't you normal, everyday potion. It forces the person awake. It's actually more like a poison. Most of the ingredients are illegal and it burns the person's throat. One drop can kill you if you are awake. We have to get three drops into her throat. Don't worry it won't kill her because she is in a dream laps. But it's most likely that she will have a fit, and with her powers it could be quite difficult.'

With that McGonagal and Madam Pumfrey came to her bedside. They all looked scared at what they were about to do.

**'Ok, Poppy, Minerva. Can you hold down her legs? Severus pass the potion to Mr Malfoy. We will hold her shoulders down. Mr Malfoy you must put three drops in her mouth, any more will kill her. I'm not sure what will happen now, so lets just hope for the best.'**

The four adults and Draco positioned them selves around her.

**'On three...one...two...three.'**

Draco got one drop in her mouth, when Hermione turned a violent shade of red and the five of them went flying across the ward. Draco was slammed against the wall behind him, The two women were sent across the floor, while Dumbledore and Snape went over beds.

**'Is everyone ok?'**

'Yes Albus, we're fine.'

'Well we've got to try again come on.'

They all got up and went back to the bedside. However Draco was not impressed that they wanted to do this again.

**'I'm sorry but no. We have to stop, it's not fair on her. It's hurting her. We can't do it again. I refuse to.'**

'Draco, you foolish boy. Don't you understand if we don't do this then she will die?'

'Severus, I'll will not stand here and poison her and watch her go through pain we are inflicting. No, I'm sorry but I can't.'

'What would you prefer? To stay by her bedside and watch her die? Or save her? Let her live Draco! She's done so much good, let the girl live. It won't hurt for very long.'

'How would you know? You've never taken the potion! I can't stand to see her like that!'

'Well suck it up boy!'

Draco took a deep breath and looked at her motionless body. He couldn't live without her, he would just have to endure some pain, to save her. He nodded his head and the professors got back into the same position. Draco dropped to more drops into her mouth, but his time she didn't fight, she didn't turn read or scream. She just took it.

****

'Did it work?'

'Lets hope so.'

Draco sat again beside her while the professors remained at the end of her bed. About 30 seconds passed when they heard a groan. McGonagal rushed to her side and Draco stood up still clutching her hand. Hermione opened her eyes to see several people around her.

**'O thank god! Maya I thought I lost you.'**

She turned to Draco who was on her right. She noticed that he held her hand. She snatched it away, remembering that she wasn't allowing herself to get close to anyone, including Draco.

**'How are you feeling? Are you ok?'**

He was trying to feel her forehead. She just brushed his hand away and made a tutting noise.

**'Yes Malfoy I'm fine stop fussing.'**

__

Since when did I become Malfoy? What's wrong with her? Why is she giving me the brush off? Draco was really confused by the way Hermione was acting and he wasn't the only one. McGonagal, Dumbledore and Snape had all noticed the way she had dismissed him. Hermione didn't see the confused glances that she got, because she was trying to sit up. Madam Pumfrey was fussing over her, checking her pulse and temperature. Hermione looked up at the headmaster and felt a rush of anger towards him. She hated him now, the fact that he had never told her about her brother. Dumbledore noticed that Hermione was staring at him, he thanked Madam Pumfrey and looked at the floor. He knew that she would have seen things in her dream laps. What, he wasn't too sure of. He hoped it wasn't St Mungo's.

**'Maya - '**

**'Tell me _Albus_, when you were at my parent's side, their death beds, at what point did you think it was in my best interest for me not to know about my brother?'**

She knew. He feared this. He would have to tell her now. McGonagal was shocked, how did she know? However Snape and Draco looked between Hermione and Dumbledore confused.

**'Were you ever going to tell me?'**

Dumbledore continued to stare at her, he stepped back slightly knowing she would get angry but didn't answer her. He made a mistake not telling her, he knew that. But what could he say now that would keep her calm and make her feel better? Nothing. She was getting more and more annoyed at his silence.

**'ANSWER ME DAM IT.'**

When she started to glow, the others around the bed stepped back. She was breathing heavily. She had tears rolling down her cheeks but never took her eyes of the headmaster.

**'Maya, would it have been easier for you to know? Would you have preferred me to tell you?'**

'I would have preferred to know that I had killed my unborn baby brother yes! I would have never excepted the position of Head girl! I would have never spoke to Harry and Ron and never **come back here at all if I had known! You had absolutely no right to keep that from me!'**

Hermione was fighting back the tears. She had calmed her self down but still there was a tinge of red around her. Dumbledore remained calm in this situation. McGonagal was shocked that she knew and her behaviour towards the headmaster.

**'Yes, I know I had no right to keep that from you, I thought it was for the best -'**

'That is not your decision to make! You are not my guardian to even make that type of decision. You have no idea what I went through seeing that. You betrayed me Dumbledore. I thought that perhaps I could trust you. How wrong I was.'

'Maya! That's quite enough. You should have more respect for your headmaster. He was doing what he thought was best for you. It was a very hard decision to make.'

'Who are you to tell me I have no respect. You were there with him! You could have told me! You could have said 'no Albus the girl has a right to know she killed her unborn brother! Someone who hasn't even taken a breath of fresh natural air yet! Seen the big outside world!' But no, you stood there and let him keep this from me. Now making me feel even worse than what I originally thought.'

Hermione stopped and took in a deep breath, she let the tears flow down her pale cheeks. She brought her knees up and hugged them. Draco came and stood beside her. He tried to put his arm around her.

**'Please don't'**

She looked up at him with sorry eyes. She could see that he was hurt by her actions, but she forced herself not to care. If she did then she would get attached, and then he would end up getting really hurt by her. She looked back at the two professors. McGonagal had tears in her eyes. Dumbledore did look ashamed of himself for hurting her, for making her worse. Snape was in the background. Trying to take it all in and think of a way to keep the peace. Dumbledore still needed to know what else she had seen before he could do anything else.

**'I know you are hurting right now, and I wish that I hadn't made that decision. In time I hope you can forgive Minerva and myself. We were only thinking of you.'**

Hermione just looked at the wall straight ahead of her. She would break down even worse if she looked at someone.

**'Maya, before we leave, I would like to know what else you saw, In your dreams.'**

In a shaky voice she answered him.

**'The Avery family being told that I had killed Fredrick Avery and that he was a Death Eater.'**

Dumbledore nodded. He thought that was all she had seen and was about to turn.

**'I saw my mum and dad. They were being beaten, raped and killed by Death Eaters.'**

Hermione closed her eyes chocked back some tears.

**'I'm sorry.'**

The four of them turned to leave a distraught Hermione on her own. They weren't sure if that was the best decision but she didn't want any one around her. Hermione just cried into her hands.

**'I hope that you are going to stay Hermione. The staff, Mr Malfoy and I will be attending a staff meeting in a few hours. I hope that you can attend. I'm sure Poppy will release you by then.'**

Hermione heard what the headmaster had said and took it in. She looked up at him and met his gaze.

**'I just hope the both of you were happy with your decision because, I think I will be leaving. I'm not sticking around here. I can't anymore. I so t-t-t-tired of hurting the people I love. I'm tired of c-c-c-causing pain to people who d-d-d-don't deserve it. I'm sick and tired of hurting. I need to be alone.'**

'Well I would like you to reconsider, come to the meeting and it can be discussed then if you wish.'

With that they all turned and left.

Draco was really confused. He couldn't understand why she gave him the brush off. He thought that they had a real connection. He was also quite shocked about what she saw. He couldn't even imagine the sort of pain she was going through at the moment. He just hoped she would think about things, come to the meeting and then they could talk.

McGonagal was ashamed of her self. She never wanted to hurt Hermione by the choice to keep it form her. She just thought that they were protecting her. She hoped that she wouldn't leave either. They people at Hogwarts could help her get through things better.

Dumbledore as well was ashamed with himself. He hoped that she wouldn't find out until she was more stable, but finding out now could mean she would leave for good and never come back. He couldn't imagine that, he would feel guilty because he would have caused it.

Snape felt sorry for the poor girl. She had been through so much already and now this. He just hoped that when it came to finding out about _it_ that she would be ok with it. He hated seeing his saviour in such a poor state and wanted to do everything he could now to get her back on track.

Hermione watched them leave. Her head was absolutely buzzing. She didn't want to be around people, no, she couldn't get attached to anyone because they would get hurt. But she couldn't, no, wouldn't spend her time sulking around avoiding everyone. She thought about her attitude in Paris and how she just dressed to impress and quite frankly didn't give a fuck. Perhaps if she went back to that then maybe people wouldn't want to know her. That they would think differently of her and leave her alone. We'll it was worth a try I suppose.

****

A.N well! What do you think? Ok I want to know what my readers think **_it_** is. It's mentioned in that bit about Snape. Have I made it too obvious? I don't know. I'm curious to what you think! So review and give me your opinion on this chapter!

Ok this will be my last update for about 2 weeks. I'm going away for a week, I promise I'll try and do some writing when I'm away. Also on the 26th I get my exam results **_eekk! god i've failed them all!_ **so I'll be celebrating or commiserating for a few days, i've also got to go and enrol at my college on the 27th so I'm quite busy. But don't worry I'm going to try and update before the 30th!

****

Dark Raven

-x-


	12. Chapter12: Staff meeting

****

Tears of a confused mind.

****

Disclaimer: Ok by now you should all no that I DO NOT own any of the Harry Potter characters of anything associated with the series! The only thing I own is the story line that I have created. If you people who do own part of Harry Potter wish to sue me then I'm afraid the only thing you would be able to claim would be a few note pads and my history textbook. I'm sorry but there is no way you will be getting my two baby kittens! They are so sweet!

****

A.N I'm so so so so so sorry my readers! I know I said I would update by the 30th but I have just been so busy! My holiday was shit and I didn't enjoy it one bit! Then when I came back I didn't get the results that I wanted. I got 1a, 5b's 1c, 1d and a U in maths! Go me! So i've had to enrol in maths again at college! So shit. O well. But one thing that lifted my spirits was reading all of your fantastic reviews. My inbox was jammed with reviews from all my stories and i've only just checked them! So here are your responses and thankyou's.

****

Elizabeth Turner: I'm sorry if you feel that this is rushed! If you have any suggestions on how to make it better please let me know! I know Hermione is incredibly intelligent, however she is only human. No normal person could go through everything she's been through to that extent and still live a peachy life. That's just not how the world works. I believe that faced with everything she has that anyone would have outed. She tried to stay but look what happened.

**__**

Dime-piece: Thanks for your review. I'm glad you like it!

**__**

Heavenlybabe145: I'm really happy that you think this is one of the best you've read! I love reviewers praise, it makes me think that maybe my work doesn't suck. And I no that you shouldn't give spoiled brats what they want because it only makes them worse - but o well just this once.

**__**

DuckyGirl121: Thank you! I'm pleased you like my story! keep reading!

**__**

Paprika90: Thanks. Related to Snape? Gods I never thought about that! But no, that wasn't my original idea. :S

So on with the story...

__

**Chapter 12: staff meeting**

Hermione watched them leave. Her head was absolutely buzzing. She didn't want to be around people, no, she couldn't get attached to anyone because they would get hurt. But she couldn't, no, wouldn't spend her time sulking around avoiding everyone. She thought about her attitude in Paris and how she just dressed to impress and quite frankly didn't give a fuck. Perhaps if she went back to that then maybe people wouldn't want to know her. That they would think differently of her and leave her alone. We'll it was worth a try I suppose.

All the staff and Draco were in the great hall waiting for Hermione. They had waited 20 minutes all ready and some people were beginning to be inpatient.

**'Where is she Albus?'**

**'Minerva, she's on her way I'm sure of it.'**

The truth was that he wasn't sure of it. He wasn't sure if she was coming at all. The way they left it in the hospital wing wasn't exactly clear. He hoped, deep down that she had reconsidered and would stay. But where was she? Not even Draco had seen her in their common room.

They waited a few more minutes for Hermione to turn up. Nothing.

**'Ok everybody, she's obviously not coming, lets start.'**

No sooner had he said these words to his staff, the double doors in the great hall burst open revealing a very different Hermione. Many people's mouths dropped.

Draco was surprised to say the least. The Hermione he knew at school was a book-worm-not-it-all, and the Hermione he met in the club was a beautiful, confident girl. But now before him was a sexy, fine, all be it slightly slaggish women.

Snape couldn't believe his eyes. His saviour was dressed like someone you would find in a man's magazine. He had to shake certain thoughts out of his head. What had happened to her?

Dumbledore expected she would do something like this. Something drastic and different, so he didn't even batter an eyelid at her.

McGonagal, as well as many of the other female teachers noticed the change in the men. They were all leaning forward, mouths and eyes wide open. She defiantly didn't expect her prized pupil to be strutting down the middle of the great hall to a staff meeting dressed like that!

As Hermione opened the doors to the meeting, she was nervous to say the least. Her appearance was certainly going to make an impact. When she noticed the male professor's expressions she smirked and looked down at her attire. On her feet she had a pair of knee high leather black boots, with a silver stiletto heel. Moving upwards she had a very short black pleated skirt on with a silver chain across the front. And her top (if you could call it a top) was a black and had spaghetti straps. The cleavage line cut across each breast to meet in the middle creating a v. her breasts were pushed up, showing them that she wasn't a little girl any more. The back of the top did up with a few corset type ribbons. On the front of the top it read _'you wish.'_ Her hair was curled and flowed down her back. Her make up base was mainly natural apart from her eyes. Then had a light dusting of silver eye shadow and a black outline and black eye liner.

The hall was deadly silent as the head girl walked in. Nobody really knew what to say to something like that. They all just watched their old little innocent Hermione approach the head table in what little attire she had on. She made her way to the only vacant seat left, it was between Draco and Snape, opposite Dumbledore and McGonagal. As she sat down she deliberately brushed past the back of Snape, letting him have a full view of what she had to offer up top. Snape smirked but then it was cut short by a stern look from McGonagal. As she sat down she still had a smirk on her face. Draco tried to catch her eye but she blatantly ignored his attempts. When she looked up, everybody was watching her, some with looks of venom and disgust, others of pure lust. (A.N eww!!)

**'What?'**

It was then they all snapped out of their day dreams. Some people turned away with shame and embarrassment on their face, while others gave her a filthy look. Dumbledore cleared his throat.

**'Well now that we are all here, lets start with the meeting. Minerva?'**

McGonagal had not stopped staring at Hermione since she came in. She was absolutely disgusted with the way she was dressed and acting. A chosen head girl should not be acting like that. What sort of example would that set the younger years. There was no excuse for that behaviour. When she heard her name she looked up at Dumbledore.

**'Yes, ok lets start with the knew passwords. I think we agreed at the end of last term that for this term they would be 'Loyalty - Hufflepuff, Cunning - Slytherin, Bravery - Gryffindor and Mindless - Ravenclaw. All agreed?'**

Most people around the room nodded in agreement, one person however was not listening in the slightest. She was opening a lolly and began to suck it seductively, she cast her eyes around the room and occasionally caught a professors eye and winked at them.

McGonagal was still keeping an eye on her and knew she wasn't listening to the meeting, but instead was acting like a slut.

Draco, out the corner of his eye could see Hermione lick the sweet, this sort of suggestive actions made him furious and excited. He was annoyed with the fact she was doing such things to her professors and not him, but he couldn't deny she looked dam good doing that.

Snape had to focus on the meeting, he couldn't watch what she was doing, he wouldn't be responsible for actions from his body. He was only male after all. What male could contain them self's from a 17 year old girl dressed like that and sucking on a lolly pop.

Dumbledore however continued with the meeting.

**'Ok now the knew prefects need to be agreed on. Professor Sprout - who are the two fifth years from Hufflepuff?'**

**'Well I thought Richard Atwood and Annie Sellebs.**

**'A good choice ok, Professor Sinster- Ravenclaw?'**

**'Mayur Dannani and Tyana Mathews.'**

Hermione was getting really bored. She really didn't want to be here, in the meeting, with these professors. She wanted to be away from these traitor and backstabbers. She just wanted out. She began tapping her fingers on the table, to the annoyance of most of the female professors.

**'Professor Snape?'**

**'Cory Taylor and Paige Westhook.'**

**'Minerva?'**

She didn't hear her name being called. She was to busy shooting daggers at Hermione was now cleaning her nails with her quill. Hermione knew she was being watched and by whom. She was doing this to annoy the hell out of them. She lifted her head and smiled at McGonagal. 

**'It's your turn.'**

She turned bright red and faced Dumbledore. Being caught for not listening was not something the deputy headmistress did.

**'Erm yes, Gryffindor prefects? Lets see Dennis Creevy and Nicole Paton?'**

Hermione smirked to herself. She knew that had got to her. So far so good. She had already pissed one person off. Maybe this was going to be easier than she thought.

**'Ok one last thing for today. I thought that Gryffindor could hold a welcome back dance. I think it best if the heads organise it, let them get a feel of what responsibilities they have. Any suggestions? Miss Granger?'**

Now this time Hermione didn't hear her self being addressed. She was busy twirling her hair and looking out the window.

**'Miss Granger?'**

All the staff were now looking at her. McGonagal was fuming.

**'MISS GRANGER!'**

Hermione snapped out of her day dream to face the irritated professor.

**'What?'**

**'You were being asked a question. It is rude to ignore someone Miss Granger and it is even ruder for the head girl not to pay attention in a meeting.'**

Hermione gave her an amused and questioning look. She sat up and faced her.

**'God women, give it a rest. You were the one not paying attention a minute ago, and now your lecturing me on the decorum for a head girl. If you didn't think I was up for the job them you wouldn't have giving me the position. So I suggest you don't start giving me the third degree and get off my back.'**

The room was in shock. The head girl, Hermione Granger had just answered back a teacher. Not only that but she had been rude and offensive. Nobody not even Dumbledore had expected Hermione Granger, the sweet princess or Gryffindor who had just been through hell, their saviour to be that disrespectful her head of house.

Draco sat their stunned, not even he, ice prince of Slytherin would even dare say such things to a professor. He couldn't believe the change in her. So drastic, so not Hermione.

McGonagal stood and slammed her hands down on the table and looked down on Hermione.

**'How dare you. How dare you speak to me in such a manor. I have done nothing but help you and this is how you repay me? You come to a staff meeting dressed as a common prostitute -'**

The whole room gasped. Hermione raised her eyebrow at her, but remained seated.

**'You think that you can sit there and not pay attention or contribute and we will sit here and say nothing. You are the head girl and shall dress and act as a head girl is supposed to. I suggest that you change you ways Hermione and apologise.'**

With that Hermione stood up and faced her professor.

**'Ok I'm only going to say this once so listen good, that goes for everyone. I - NEVER - ASKED - FOR - YOU - TO - HELP - ME. I - NEVER - WANTED - YOUR - HELP. I - WANTED - TO - BE - LEFT - ALONE. But no, you were the one that interfered with my life. I wanted to go away and never be found again. YOU brought me back here when I didn't want to. YOU gave me the head girl position. I never asked for ANY of it. The ONLY thing I asked for was to be left alone. I dress as I please, you cannot tell me what I can and cannot wear. The only people that could have done that were my parents and they are dead.'**

Hermione lowered her head, she never meant to mention her parents. The whole room didn't know where to look, you could sense the tension in the room.

**'YOU are not guardian of mine and never will be. And I don't see any objections to my attire do you?'**

Hermione waved her hand behind her towards Snape was checking out her arse. When he noticed that he was being watched, he cleared his throat and looked at his papers. McGonagal was fuming at this site and Hermione smirked at her. McGonagal opened her mouth but was cut off by Hermione.

**'I didn't think so. And one last thing before I leave. I never asked to be here. Therefore I will not contribute or pay attention if I do not want to. I will not change my ways for a pathetic old women such as your self. And I certainly won't apologise to a backstabbing old bag who kept my baby brother a secret from me.'**

Hermione was fighting back the tears as she blasted the transfiguration professor. The things she said just came out, she wasn't sure if she meant them or not. Hermione turned on her heal as pushed her chair back with such a force that it landed 4 foot away from the table with a loud bang. Before she could even leave the table Draco grabbed her wrist and made her face him.

**'What are you playing at?'**

**'I don't have to justify myself to you.'**

**'Where do you think your going? Apologies.'**

**'I don't have to do what you tell me, so don't think for one second you can order me about.'**

She yanked her wrist free and sent him a cold, evil look. Everyone in the hall was watching her as she brushed past them and went to leave the hall. Draco stood up and called after her.

**'Hermione!'**

She spun around and faced him with the cold black eyes that had covered her once amber ones. There was a tinge of red glowing around her as well.

**'Maya. My name is Maya. The next person to call me Hermione, won't live to see the next day.'**

Again she spun around and waved her had at the door. She slammed open causing everyone in the hall to flinch.

As she left everyone in the hall thinking about what had just happened, nobody even noticed the tears that had escaped her eyes. Nobody except Dumbledore.

Outside the main hall Hermione's mind was racing.

What have I done?

She let the tears of her confused mind fall silently down her cheeks as she went out into the harsh winds of the Hogwarts grounds.

**A.N I can only apologies for the delay! starting college is a lot of hard work and takes up a lot of my time. So what did you think of the chapter? do you think she will stay or go? well press that little review button and let me know.!**

**dark raven**

**-x-**


	13. Chapter13: Confessions of the mind

****

Tears of a confused mind.

Chapter 13: Confessions of the mind

Disclaimer: I own nothing of the Harry Potter series! I wish I did but I don't.

A.N thanks to everyone who reviewed.

Emma Barrows: thank you I'm glad you liked it, I'm sorry I took forever to update coughakicough you don't have to wait any longer.

lee74: You don't have to wait any more. thanks for your review.

paprika90: I can't say that I have watched that film :s. I'm really glad you liked this chapter because you are one of my favourite reviewers! about the class mates... within the next 3 chapters she will and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised! just watch this space!

marsfire2242: You don't have to worry about any of that now because I have a superb beta and she does it all for me! please let me know if this chapter meets your requirements. I promise I will review school show down by my next chapter, I'm just so busy with work and college.

lady-sanctuary: Thank you! you made my day!

asiangrl91: thanks keep reviewing!!

dracolov: ok I'd love to do the challenge. but I've got three stories on the go as it is. but I was reading your requirements and i think mine already fits in!! let me know about the challenge.

Last time...

As she left everyone in the hall thinking about what had just happened, nobody even noticed the tears that had escaped her eyes. Nobody except Dumbledore.

Outside the main hall Hermione's mind was racing.

What have I done?

She let the tears of her confused mind fall silently down her cheeks as she went out into the harsh winds of the Hogwarts grounds.

And on with the chapter...

Why did I have to be so stupid?

Plop

Why did I even go to the meeting?

Plop

I can't do anything right! Everywhere I go I make things a hell of a lot worse!

Plop

People's lives are hell because of me.

Plop

Hermione sighed, taking a seat by the lake on the chilly Hogwarts grounds. Unable to do anything but think about what she had just done. Was she proud of it? She did get the reaction she wanted...but _was _it worth it?

She was so confused.

Transfiguring her clothes into a pair of white Nike jogging bottoms and a navy blue vest top, she sat. Throwing stones into the murky water being the only thing she could think of doing.

Her mind was racing a hundred miles an hour but nothing seemed to make sense.

She couldn't comprehend a single thing in her mind.

Lost. Lost in her own mind. Lost of any reasonable thought. Lost of any straight emotion or feeling. Lost of the world she once knew. Lost of knowing everything and anything. The only thing she knew of now was pain. Pain and confusion.

She tossed the last stone and hugged her knees to her chest. Bringing her cold hands to her eyes, crying just let all the pain out of her body, _what else could she do?_

Hermione didn't hear the crunch of leaves behind her, or the breaking of twigs. She didn't feel the presence of somebody behind her or the gaze from that persons eyes. Hermione didn't hear the person draw their wand and cast a spell, she didn't even hear them sit beside her. She did however feel something wrap around her, a blanket.

She looked to the left where she saw Dumbledore come and sit down beside her.

'Thank you.'

'You are welcome Maya. It's freezing out here, why don't you come inside?'

'Is it? I don't feel the cold much anymore.'

'Why's that?'

'Dunno, I don't know much any more.'

Hermione gazed at her hands. She heard Dumbledore sigh next to her.

'Miss Granger...I can't even begin to imagine what you've been through over the last year. For somebody as young as you, you should never have experienced anything to the extent in which you have. But I however am a very old man and have met and experienced things too. I've always found that talking to someone and letting go of everything in your mind helps to get thoughts, feelings and everything else in order so you have a clear, organised mind.'

Hermione sat silent, slowly turning the words Dumbledore had just said round and round in her head.

Maybe if I do talk to someone...I can figure out what to do. But Dumbledore...? After what happened in the Hospital Wing? After what he kept from me?

But he's here now. Who else can I talk to...?

'Even if I did talk to someone, you for example, I really wouldn't know where to start, or what to say.'

'Well, I'm here now, so you can talk to me. And start from the beginning, before the Riddle Mansion and before you cutting. Tell me anything you want. The way you felt, why you felt like that. Anything you want to share.'

'Ok.'

Hermione was trying to get things into a reasonable order, hopefully she wouldn't have to back track herself. She thought it best to start at the beginning of last term.

Hermione took a deep, rattling breath and began.

'I suppose it all triggered about this time last year. Harry and Ron weren't returning any of my owls, it seemed like they had just forgotten all about me. I figured at first that they were probably at Grimmuald Place and weren't allowed to owl me, so I thought nothing of it. So on the first day of school I thought I'd see them on the train, but I didn't see them the whole journey. It was only when we got off the train when I saw them with Lavender and Ginny that I knew why they hadn't owled me or bothered with me. They had girlfriends now, they didn't need a 'girl friend'(A.N aint that a bitch?). It carried for what seemed like forever, I'd be left out of going out, they'd just forget about me. It seems so trivial now, after everything, that I got mad at that.'

She gave Dumbledore a weak smile, and he too smiled back. He just watched her start to pour her heart out. He just hoped that this would help her.

'I tried not to let it bother me, but at one point I did mention it to them, being the guys they said they were sorry and _that they would _try and include me, but that's when the girlfriends started. Calling me all sorts of names, trying to start fights and generally ganging up on me.

'I couldn't get around the fact that I had just lost all of my friends in the space of about a month. Of course, people started noticing that we weren't the 'Golden Trio' any more, and that all of the girls were using me as a punching bag...and those people questioned me about it...and then the Slytherin's got wind of it and I became their new target.'

Hermione stopped and gathered her breath. Dumbledore was shocked at the way the Gryffindor's had treated one of their own. Especially Hermione. He had _no_ idea that any of this went on.

'The Slytherin's like to play, especially with a mud blood-Gryffindor-bookworm, once part of the golden trio. So they cornered me twice when I was on my rounds. It happened twice and it was always the same people.'

She wasn't sure what to say. Tell him who it was? What happened? She stared out at the open lake, totally oblivious to the fact that it was getting colder. Her mind was reliving the last year and she didn't like it. Just remembering what had happened to her made her feel like shit and worthless. A stray tear escaped her eye, she brushed it away before Dumbledore noticed.

'Who was it Maya?'

'Would it make a difference?'

'It might.'

'Blaise Zambini, Crabbe and Goyle.'

'What did they do?'

'Beat me around a bit and Zambini would try and --and.

She couldn't bare to mention it, but Dumbledore knew what she was trying to say. He just nodded in agreement.**'You don't have to carry on if it's going to upset you.'**

**'No, I might as well.'**

**'If your sure.'**

**'I am.'**

She took a deep breath and continued. 

**'Ok I suppose after the attacks I felt worthless. I had no friends any more and I couldn't walk down a corridor without getting a snide comment from a Slytherin or a former 'friend'. To have no friends left me feeling empty and trapped. I was trapped in a castle with no one. So that's when I had decided to cut. I figured New Year would be the best time because everyone would be partying that night and nobody would miss my presence anyway. I stole the knife from dinner a few nights before and kept it in my room. I just needed an escape from everything. It wasn't even the end of the year and my school life was hell. There was no way I could have kept sane if I had carried on. Well you know what happened next, with Harry and Ron. They accused me of attention seeking and said that I was selfish for doing that to them. I laughed. They had no idea what my life had been like up to that point.**

**'Its funny because even then I still couldn't be mad at them, I still went after them at the Riddle Mansion, even though they had forgotten me and treated me like crap. I still went and saved their lives. I still went and became a murderer for them. I STILL WENT AND KILLED PEOPLE, KILLED MYSELF AND MY FAMILY BECAUSE OF THEM. I GOT CURSED WITH THIS FUCKING 'POWER' BECAUSE OF THEM.'**

Still hugging her knees, Hermione broke down. She couldn't help it anymore. The pain was crushing her chest and stopping her from breathing. The pain and torture were like a pillow over her face, suffocation her ever so slowly.

Dumbledore put his arm around the crying young girl. She was absolutely freezing, it hurt him to see her suffer so much.

**'I-I-I thought th-th-that I'd-d-d never be clean-n aga-a-ain. I-I-I thought th-th-that I was the e-e-evilest p-p-person ever. I _am _the eveilest-t p-p-person ev-ever.'**

**'Hermione Granger, do not talk like that, you are not a evil person and I don't know what I have to say to make you feel differently.'**

**'Albus there is nothing you can say. I know what I am.'**

There was silence between the two of them. He still had his arm around her, something about it was comforting to Hermione. What, she didn't know.

**'Why am I friends with them? I just can't seem to get mad. They treated me like crap and were never there for me, not even when my parents died.'**

**'You miss them don't you?'**

**'Yes, I miss them so much it hurts. When, -when I found out that they died, it was the last straw. My world just collapsed around me. I was alone. No family and no friends. But in a way I still expected Ron and Harry to be there for me, to be there at the funeral. But they weren't. I guess it was then that I realised that I had no life, nothing and the best thing for me to do was to flee the wizarding world where I was a murderer and where I had caused so much misery. And the Death Eater attack was the sheer sign that I had to go. I just knew I didn't belong in your world any more.'**

**'Maya, this is your world, this is where you belong. I don't understand why you can't accept the fact that you are the people's saviour. You saved our world.'**

**'Please just stop, I can't take it any more, you, Minerva, Snape! Everyone telling me and I know its not true! I thought that maybe coming back, finding Dray and talking to Harry and Ron that I might have been able to figure something out, but I just can't! People telling me this just doesn't make it any easier! I'm so confused about who I am, what I am and who I'm supposed to be that I can't think straight. I can't think about Dray and the connection we had, I can't think about being back in this world and wondering if this is where I belong. I just can't!'**

Hermione was getting more and more frustrated with herself. Talking really wasn't helping her, it was just making things more and more confusing for her.

**'I thought, I just thought that when I found Dray and came back here that things might possibly have changed.'**

**'Things have changed-'**

**'NO THEY HAVEN'T. I'm still the same murderer I was before I left, those letters and voices prove that! And it they also prove that I'm not accepted here! I'm always being watched! Whether it be by you or the Death Eaters that are after me. I can't escape from anywhere! I can't escape any pain.'**

**'Hermione! you are not a murderer! You do belong here and people have accepted you into this world, your world as the one who saved it!'**

**'I bet the Avery Family doesn't think so!'**

**'...Avery Family?'**

**'Yes, the family I saw in my dream laps. I bet they think I'm a murderer, I ruined their family. I ruined my own family!'**

**'Maya, Avery was a Death Eater, the second he joined forces with Voldermort he ruined his family's life. You didn't do that, and you didn't ruin your family's life either!'**

Hermione was angry. Her eyes were getting darker and darker, and a tinge of red was circling her. She jumped up and stood by the lake. If she was by Dumbledore, she wouldn't be able to be held responsible for her actions. Dumbledore saw what was happening and felt guilty about getting her angry.

**'You have no idea Albus. You have no idea what's it like to watch your mother and father being beaten and raped, while you stand there and do nothing! To watch as they're being taunted, blaming me. You have no idea what it's like to hear the screams of your parents being beaten because of what you've done. Don't sit there and tell me that's not my fault. Just don't.'**

Tears where streaming down her face again.

**'I can't stand being me. I can't stand being a murderer, the one who killed her mother, father and unborn brother. I can't stand feeling all this pain any more. I just want to be the old me. The person who didn't have a care in the world, who had friends, who had parents. I don't want to be me any more.'**

**'What do you want.'**

Dumbledore got up and stood next to her. (a.n obviously not right next to her. She's still pissed off.)

**'I-I-I want, I want to be alone. I just don't want to be close to anyone any more. I don't trust myself. They'll just get hurt. I, I just want some time to figure out me.'**

She looked up teary eyed at her Headmaster. He looked back at her with concern. There was silence between the two for a long time.

**'What are you going to do?'**

**'About what?'**

**'Mr. Malfoy mainly, but Harry and Ron too. I can tell the staff about what you've told me and about what you want but I think that its best if you tell those three.'**

**'Ok. I suppose yes it would be better from me. I'll erm, I'll talk to Dray today.'**

**'Are you sure this is what you want Maya?'**

**'Yes, yes this is what I want.'**

**'Ok, Maya, then I can't change your mind. I hope that in due time you can rejoin us and accept what we know of you. If you ever wish to speak to someone Maya, you know where my office is.'**

**'Yes sir, and thank you.'**

**'Not a problem Maya. O and I hope to see you at breakfast tomorrow so we can continue the meeting?'**

**'Yes sir.'**

With the end of their conversation, Dumbledore made his way back up to the castle. He hoped deep down that it wouldn't take her long to figure her self out. He wouldn't like to think of what might happen if she ran again. Or if she isolated herself totally. He hoped that maybe Draco could talk some sense into her.

Hermione made her way back up to the heads tower. She was thinking over what she was going to say to him. It wasn't going to be easy and she knew it. But it had to be done. It just had to be. She knew he'd be waiting for her, and most likely be angry. _Just let him get on with it and then you can say what you want._ Hermione reached the portrait and gave the password. She stepped through the portrait hole.

**'Finally.'**

Hermione didn't want to fight with him, it was going to be hard enough as it was.

**'I'm sorry.'**

**'O you're sorry! It's not me you should be apologising to! What the hell got into you?'**

**'I don't know.'**

**'You don't know! Well that's good to know. How could you be so rude Maya! That's not you!'**

**'I know.'**

**'Well, what was your problem?'**

**'Dray, please don't. I don't want to fight. I have to talk to you and it's going to be hard enough as it is without us screaming at each other. _Please_, can we just talk?'**

Draco looked at her with confusion. He knew he wasn't going to like this conversation, he could just feel it.

**'Ok, I don't want to fight with you either. It's just the person at the meeting wasn't the girl I'm crazy about.'**

Hermione couldn't look at him. It was too hard. She sat down on one of the sofas, and Draco sat down next to her. He took her hand in his. She didn't even fight it. What was the point, she was going to crush him now anyway.

**'Look before I start I need you to promise me you aren't going to interruptme. I have to say it and it would be easier if you just waited till the end.'**

**'Ok, sure. But can I just ask what happened in the hospital wing. Why were you so cold with me, McGonagal and Dumbledore?'**

**'Ok, I suppose I can start there. Well, when I was in a dream laps I saw three things. I saw the Avery family being told that Fredrick Avery was killed. That's when I was at the Riddle Mansion. I saw how hurt they were, and their little girl was crushed. I couldn't believe what I had done.'**

**'Maya-'**

**'No you said you'd listen. The next thing I saw was my parents. The night they were killed. I saw the Death Eaters come and beat them, I saw one of them rape my mother and-'**

**'It's ok. You don't have to tell me.'**

**'No you asked. I saw them being killed and there was nothing I could do to save them.'**

She took a deep breath and was fighting back the tears, there was no way she would let herself cry.

'**The last thing I saw which upset me the most was my parents at St.Mungos. Dumbledore was there and McGonagal. The healer told them that my mother was pregnant. I had a brother and I killed him.'**

**'Ma-'**

**'No. I told you, please just let me finish. I was upset when I came around for two reasons. One because Dumbledore and McGonagal had kept that from me, but also because I realised that everyone I was around I hurt. There is not one person that I can get close to and not hurt one way or another. Seeing those things confused me a lot and I just don't know what to do anymore.'**

**'Maya, you know that I'm here. I want to help you, I know it won't be easy but if it means were together then I want to.'**

**'Draco-'**

Hermione couldn't help it, she let some tears escape her eyes. Draco noticed and grabbed her chin, he pulled it up and looked her in the eyes. He wiped away some of her falling tears with his thumb and waited for her to continue.

**'Look, I have to figure out what's going on in my head. I have to figure out what I'm going to do and who the hell I am. And...and I don't think I can do that if I'm around people. I just want to be on my own for a while. Please understand that I can't stand being me anymore. I can't stand feeling all this pain any more, I have to find myself-'**

**'Stop, I don't want to hear anymore. Just don't do this.'**

Draco got up and walked over to the fire place. He scratched the back of his head, fighting the tears. He couldn't believe this.

**'Dray please , you don't understand. If you are around me then you'll end up getting hurt. I know that if you don't know me then you can change the world for the better. You're Head Boy and I can see you in ten years time with a wife and kids working at the ministry-'**

**'Bullshit. Please don't patronise me. Let me tell you a few things Maya. When you left the club, it felt like I had lost you, I barely even knew you! Since you've been back in my life everything's just been going right-'**

**'No, I don't want to hear this.'**

**'I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU WANT.'**

Hermione looked at him with frightened eyes. He never meant to shout. I couldn't bare to loose her.

**'Maya, please listen to me. You don't seem to understand that what you just said, God I just lost everything. You may not think that but I've lost much more than pride. After everything that's happened it just seems now that happiness is getting further away, and I need a miracle now.'**

He walked over to a crying Hermione and knelt in front of her. He had tears in his eyes and it crushed him to see her like this.

**'How-how can I change the world, if I can't even change your mind. Just try and understand that when I walked into Dumbledore's office and we kissed, you gave me heaven, and now you are taking it away from me.'**

**'Dray, I'm so sorry-'**

**'I don't want your apology, please I want you.'**

**'I can't, please. Please don't do this.'**

There was no way he could let her go. He got onto his knees and pushed his lips onto hers. Tears streaming down both their faces. He had to convince her to stay with him. He just had to. Hermione pushed him back with all her strength and jumped up from the sofa.

**'Dray! I can't be who you want me to be.'**

**'You are who I want. You just can't see! Please don't leave to find your self.'**

**'I HAVE TO.'**

Draco was silent. This was it, there was no way of changing her mind now. He failed. He lost he lost her for good.

**'Ok.'**

Draco could only say it in the smallest voice he possibly could. Saying it made it real and he couldn't bare it.

**'Thank you. Please don't be mad at me.'**

**'How can I be mad at someone I love?'**

Hermione didn't know what to say. Did she love him? Yes. Was she going to tell him? No. They both stood on either side of the room just staring at each other. Not knowing that on the other side of the castle there was three people watching the scene.

**'Albus, this is your fault! If you hadn't told her to be alone then they would still be together! Now what are we going to do?'**

**'Minerva calm down, I have faith in the boy!'**

On the other side of the room, Snape was watching the pair closely through the mirror.

**'He just said he loved her.'**

Dumbledore and McGonagal came rushing over to the mirror in time to see Hermione walk up her stair case and into her bedroom. The three of them watched as Draco seemed to battle with his mind. Just watching the space in which she once stood. They watched as Draco closed his eyes and let a tear fall before going to his own room.

**'Well any bright ideas now Albus?!'**

**'Give her time, she'll come around.'**

**'But what if she doesn't. What about the script?'**

**'I trust her and you need to trust my judgement.'**

**'Albus I'm with Minerva on this. What if she doesn't come around and runs again? She saved our world once but if she doesn't figure things out then that's it, bye bye to our world!''I'm aware of the implications Severus, but I have faith in our saviour.'**

**A.N that was long!! I hope you all enjoyed it! big hugs to my reviewers and BIG thanks to aki my beta. so please review and tell me what you think!**

**raven**

**-x-**


	14. Chapter14: Planning

****

Tears of a confused mind.

Chapter 14: Planning.

Disclaimer: I own nothing of the Harry Potter series! I wish I did but I don't.

A.N thanks to everyone who reviewed.

__

Last time:

****

'Albus I'm with Minerva on this. What if she doesn't come around and runs again? She saved our world once but if she doesn't figure things out then that's it, bye bye to our world!'

'I'm aware of the implications Severus, but I have faith in our saviour.'

And on with this chapter...

Hermione woke up with the rays of sunlight streaming through her curtains. To her it was the calm after the storm. Usually when you do something like she did last night you feel as if a weight had been lifted off your shoulders, but not for Hermione, she felt a crushing weight on her chest and had to fight the urge to brake down and cry, as if somebody she _loved _had died.

Confused, she opened her eyes and looked around, everything seemed normal enough, then last nights events came back to her, _did I do the right thing? God I hope so. _She stretched and climbed out of bed, unaware of what today's events have in store for her. She looked over at the clock on her unit; it read 8:33. _Shit i've got less than half-hour before the meeting. _She ran into the bathroom and turned the shower on, oblivious to the fact that in the next room someone else was awaking.

Groan. _Why does it have to be so God dam bright? Don't people know that I feel miserable?_ Draco wished he didn't have to get up today, he felt like shit and he had a mood to match. There was nothing that could cheer him up, nothing that could lighten the mood of a man scorned. He groaned again and rolled out of bed, he decided not to have a shower and went over to his wardrobe and picked out a pair of black karki trousers and a black jumper. _Black the colour of mourning_. That's how he felt, last night a piece of him died when she abandoned him. He only hoped that he could make her change her mind. Let her sleep on it and maybe just maybe she could change her mind for him. Hope. He left his room and went down to the common room.

Hermione stepped out her shower and went into her bedroom. With the towel wrapped around her she made her way to her wardrobe. Today was the first of September. The first day of school. _Great, this is all I need. _She picked out a pair of tight fitting denim blue jeans, a black jumper and a pair of black ballet shoes. She pulled her hair into a messy bun and left the makeup. She glanced at the clock and saw it read 8:53. She ran from her bedroom and into the common room, to notice at the same time the Draco had left his room.

She looked at him and didn't know what to say, he too couldn't bring himself to say anything

The silence was getting too much for Hermione.

**'We have a meeting at nine.' **

'Yeah I know, thanks.'

I can't do this; it's too soon to play it cool. That hurt look in his eyes is just too much. How can I do this?

She turned to the portrait hall and fled.

'Maya wait!'

But it was too late she was gone, from the room, from his life. _No, I'm not letting her go that easily. _He ran from the common room after her.

She didn't turn back, she couldn't. Wouldn't. She carried on walking down the corridor until she reached the main doors. She heard hurried footsteps behind her, she knew they were from Draco but didn't dare look round.

**'Maya, Stop.'**

(New point of view)

'So you're telling me, that when you spoke to her yesterday you didn't even try to change her mind?'

'My dear professor Sprout, what was I supposed to say? 'Child, you must stay with Mr Malfoy, the whole world depends on it?' No I have faith, so should you; she's a smart girl. She'll come around.'

'Albus, you have to _make _her see, today the whole school comes back, that is going to be hard for her, she needs someone -'

' - Shh, she's coming.'

The professors sat at the high table looking out at the double doors; they could see the figure of Hermione and could hear someone calling her name. They watched in anticipation as _her_ saviour grabbed her elbow and spun her round. Groans were heard from the table.

**'That's going to loose him points. **Said Professor Sinster. **Shouldn't have man-handled her.'**

She was right, the second the he pulled her she spun around with a look that said 'fucking-touch-me-like-that-again-I'll-rip-your-balls-off.' He let go and looked at the floor. None of the professors could hear what the pair was saying but it didn't stop them from watching. The two top students in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, saviour to one another were essential in each other's lives, yet only one of them could see it. The other, she was blinded by guilt, shame and suffering to notice the bond between the two former rivals.

They could see from the body language and facial expressions, that Draco was determined to get her to change her mind while she looked at him with eyes that read uninterested and unconcerned, but beneath that she looked at him with longing and desire. She masked her true feelings well but not well enough.

Draco flung his hand towards the professors, which caused Hermione to look towards them; they busied themselves, acting as if they weren't watching them. They caught the last of the 'meeting' between the two. Draco had grabbed her hands, Hermione couldn't meet his eyes, and she simply pulled away, shook her head and walked away into the hall, leaving him to watch her. Her eyes were glistening with tears, but she held her head high and wouldn't let show. The teachers groaned again, they had hoped he could changer her mind, but no feat.

(Normal with Hermione & Draco)

'Maya, Stop.'

Draco caught up with her and grabbed her elbow; he knew straight away that that was a mistake. She spun around and had a look on venom in her eyes. They softened however when she saw the look of sorrow in his eyes.

**'Yes Malfoy?' **

'Since when am I Malfoy?'

'Since I decided I can't be around you.'

'Maya look, I can't stand this. How can I honestly let you go? You have no idea how much you mean to me, and I can't be around you and not be with you, it's to hard.'

'You're going to have to try -'

'- No, I won't. Why can't you just do something for you for a change and not what you think best? Do what your heart tells you not what your head does.'

'Please, I've made my mind up.'

'Then change it. Don't distance your self away from your friends, from your teachers. They all care about you.'

Draco pointed to the head table. Her eyes followed his hands and she saw that the teachers were all watching intently.

**'I care about you, don't distance yourself away from me.'**

Draco reached out for her hands and held them in his.

**'Dray, if I let myself be with you you'll get hurt, is that what you want?' **

'I want you. I love you.'

'No you don't. You think you love me but you don't. If you love me then _they will _get you. If you love me then leave me alone.'

She turned away from him, eyes shimmering with fresh tears. She hoped and prayed that he would understand this time. She just couldn't do this anymore. She entered the hall and was met with disanointed faces. They all wanted the two of them to sort it out but she couldn't, it wasn't the smart thing to do. She sat down next to Dumbledore and was followed in by Draco who sat on the other side of Dumbledore.

**'Great, now that everyone is here, please help your selves to the food.'**

He clapped his hands and the table filled with food. Bacon, eggs, toast, cereal, milk, juice, jams, peanut butter, muffins, tea, coffee, and fruit, everything you could want for breakfast. The professors all filled their plates, but Hermione had lost her appetite. She grabbed a blueberry muffin and some tea and waited for the meeting to begin.

**'OK now that we all have food, shall we proceed? Good, before we begin does anyone want to say anything?'**

This was Hermione's cue to apologise, she raised her hand and Dumbledore nodded to her.

**'I would just like to apologise for my behaviour yesterday, it was totally uncalled for and was not how a head girl should conduct her self. I do not have a justified reason for it, and I'm sorry. Professor McGonagal, I would just like to say personally to you that I am sorry for my rude behaviour, you've been nothing but good to me and I threw it back in your face. I'm sorry and it will not happen again.' **

'That's ok my child, you were upset we can all understand that.'

'Thank you professor McGonagal.'

'Ok, now that that is sorted, I think we left yesterday at the idea of a welcome back ball? Any suggestions?'

Hermione looked around the room and nobody raised their hands, she however did have an idea.

**'What about a masquerade ball?'**

Everyone around the room looked confused. Whispers of '_what's that?' _and _'huh' _were heard. She rolled her eyes; of course they wouldn't have heard of it, it's a Muggle thing.

**'I take it it's a Muggle thing, ok, well a masquerade ball is when all the participants were masks to conceal their identity. You don't have to turn up with a date and when you get there you can dance with whom every you want. It will save the embarrassment of finding dates and it could build house unity and people won't know who they are dancing with until then end when everyone reveals who they are.'**

Murmurs of agreement went around the table. Most people seemed impressed with the idea of that. Dumbledore smiled warmly down at her.

**'I think that's an excellent idea! What about decorations?'**

Again nobody raised their hands. _This is stupid, they're teachers! Do I have to think of everything?_

**'Well it's another Muggle thing, but we could base it on the Ballet swan lake. We could hold it outside and decorate the lake and surrounding area.' **

'Do you know what sort of decorations we would need?'

'Well yeah, I saw the play a few Christmas's ago with my mum-'

She forgot she saw it with her mum. That was one of the last days that they actually spent the day together on their own. That was the day she saw the dress and fell in love with it. That was a painful memory for her.

Everyone in the room shifted uncomfortably, how could they respond to that?

'Yeah well that was along time ago. We could have swan ice sculptures around the lake, fairy lights in the trees and bushes, We'd need a dance area and some secluded benches around the grounds. You could make some ice paths. I'm sure I could find some pictures for you.'

'That is an excellent idea Herm- Maya. I love the house unity idea and just to re-enforce that, I think that the two heads should go together, just to give it a push start. It would look great if a Gryffindor and a Slytherin went together don't you think?'

'Well-'

'Great!'

The Professors smirked at the expression that their faces held. _Dumbledore was a crafty man._ This is great, it will bring them closer._What is he playing at! He knows the deal with Dray, and me I can't believe he would do something like this!_

'**O goodness look at the time, we have to prepare for the student's arrival. Draco, Maya feel free to do as you wish, but make sure you are here at 6 o'clock for the feast. Thank you.'**

All the teachers seemed to rush out of the hall, leaving Hermione and Draco alone.

**'Maya?' **

'Yes Malfoy?'

'Can we talk? Outside?'

'I don't know -'

'- I just want to talk, I promise.'

'Erm, ok.'

The two of them left the great hall together. They didn't say anything to each other until they were outside by the lake._What does he want? I've said everything that needs to be said, nothing else matters._

**'Bit of a shock about the ball huh? I mean us going together-' **

' - Dray, please tell me what you wanted.'

'Ok, look, I can understand where you are coming from about not wanting me to get hurt, but-'

'-No Dray no buts-'

'-Listen to me. We're heads we have to show the younger ones that we are mature and responsible and all of that, and how is it going to look if the head girl is totally ignoring everyone especially head boy? That's why I think, that we should just be friends. Just friends. I support any decision you want to make and I just want to be there for you, boyfriend or friend. Please? I can't loose you completely. I care for you too much to watch you do that. Please just don't shut me out entirely.'

'I-I-I don't k-k-know what to say. Can I think about it?'

'Sure, just don't take to long.'

'Ok.'

With that Draco got up and made his way up to the castle feeling a lot better. Hermione watched him leave and for some reason she felt - happy. She smiled at him and watched out over the lake. _Friends. Maybe that could work. If I can't do it completely might as well have someone I trust around me. But how can I do that to Harry and Ron. They'd never understand. But the Seer Script as well, this is supposed to happen. Maybe just one-step at a time. Please understand._

Well readers what did you think? PLEASE REVIEW! I love to know what people think.

Special thanks to my beta aki! Luv ya aki!

Raven

-x-

seriously thr next chapter will be better


	15. Chapter15: The feast

Tears of a confused mind.

Chapter 15: The Feast.

Disclaimer: I own nothing of the Harry Potter series! I wish I did but I don't.

A.N thanks to everyone who reviewed.

morena-forever: thank you so much for your review. I'm glad that u like it.

crystalna: thanks for the review and I'm glad to say that now i have 2 betas for this story! so there shouldn't be any more grammar or spelling mistakes.

emma burrows: well you don't have to wait no more! thanks for the review!

a special thanks to aki and Chelsea my betas. so any mistakes in this chapter blame them.... just kidding!

**_Last time:_**  
**With that Draco got up and made his way up to the castle feeling a lot better. Hermione watched him leave and for some reason she felt - happy. She smiled at him and watched out over the lake. Friends. Maybe that could work. If I can't do it completely might as well have someone I trust around me. But how can I do that to Harry and Ron. They'd never understand. But the Seer Script as well, this is supposed to happen. Maybe, then, just one step at a time. Please understand.**  
And on with this chapter....

Awaiting the arrival of old and new students, Hermione sat surrounded by her Professors at the festively decorated Head-Table. Her hands clasped tightly together as to stop them from trembling as much, _she-was-petrified_. Today, she was going to see Harry and Ron. Today...she was going to have to explain to them why she couldn't be around them out of fear. Today, she was going to see her old classmates and have them questioning her about - well, everything.

The children whose parents she killed were all going to be sitting beneath her. She couldn't do this.  
Her breathing became shallow and faster, only being noticed by two people: Draco and Dumbledore.  
Dumbledore looked to his right and saw her hyperventilating. She was panicking about seeing everyone; he'd known she would worry.

**'Maya relax, everything is going to be fine.'  
**  
Draco watched her with a worried look in his eyes. He knew she was still profusely blaming herself for everything, as he had found out earlier.

**FLASHBACK  
**  
**'Dray?'  
**  
Draco, who was sitting on top of the astronomy tower ledge, looked around to see Hermione standing nervously at the door. He smiled at her.

**'How did you find me?' **

'Don't know. I just kinda knew.'

'Ok, well come and sit with me.'

'I'm afraid of heights.'

'I promise, I won't let you fall.'

She didn't know what made her do it; she just knew that she could trust him.

She could trust him with her life. She reached out, and grabbing his outstretched hand, climbed up next to him.

The second their fingers touched he felt a familiar jolt go through her. She looked up and met his ice blue eyes.

He felt it too she knew it. She broke the gaze and sat down.

**'So what brought you up here?'  
**  
'Well I was thinking about what you said earlier.'

**'O. And?'  
**  
**'Before I give you my decision, I have to tell you that I'm scared shitless about what might happen.' **

'When?'

**_'Whenever. _Today, tomorrow, next week . . . I'm just really scared of my power and what might happen with it. I couldn't bare to hurt anyone else with it.' **

'I can understand that. It must be hard to have something you can't control.'

'It is, especially since I've killed people with it. And before you say anything to counter that, I have killed with it, and I will always blame myself for that.'

'Ok, well I know I can't change your mind. But you've done great things with it to you know. You've rid the world of an evil, and saved far more than you killed.'

'I don't know. I was thinking over what you said, and you're right. I can't give off that impression to the younger years.  
**It's all about house unity right . . .? And I think that maybe I will need someone there for me. I can't go to Harry and Ron, yes . . .they are my best friends but it's not the same as if you and me are friends.  
I'm not going to deny the connection that you and I have, but I'm not going to do anything about it either. I can't bare to loose you too, and I think that if we started something, it would just kill me.'  
**  
**'But-'  
**  
**'Wait, I'm nearly finished . . . but I think that maybe I can deal with us being friends. Especially as I'll need someone to help me control this. I realize I can't do this on my own. So if the offer still stands, I'd like to be friends?' **

'Of course. But I want you to promise me that whenever you need someone, you'll come to me, and when we have your power under control that maybe we can pick up were we left off?'

**'I can promise to the first bit and we will see about the second bit. I don't want you to hang on to false hope if nothing comes off between us.' **

'Ok. Can we seal with a hug?'

'Sure.'

Hermione leaned into his arms as he wrapped them around her shoulders. She rested her head on his chest and to her it felt so right. His arms fit around her perfectly and she loved sitting like this. He rested his chin on the top of her head and closed his eyes. He was happy now. If he couldn't have her as a girlfriend then at least he had her as a friend.

On the other side of the castle, all the Professors watched the scene unfold from Dumbledore's office. Some of the female Professors had tears in their eyes, and when they hugged, everyone sighed in relief, even Professor Snape looked relieved at the pair.

Dumbledore looked around at his staff with a triumphant look on his face that read I-told-you-so.

**END FLASHBACK **

Draco got up and kneeled next to her, she looked down at him.

**'Dray, I don't think I can do this.'  
**  
**'Shh, you can, you _know_ you can. You're stronger than this. Come on, have a drink and just calm down. There's nothing to be afraid of. They are just going to be happy that you're back.' **

'Okay, I'm fine.'

'You sure?'

'Yeah, go sit back down, they're coming in now.'

Draco sat back down as the double doors swung open and hoards of children came through. Nobody looked up at her or even recognized her; she breathed a sigh of relief, until she saw two very familiar faces.

One, who had flaming red hair, freckles and towered over everyone else.

The other, with jet-black chaotic hair and intense green eyes. They both searched the table until their gaze met Hermione's.

They smiled lovingly at her, but she just dropped her eyes and avoided the confused looks she got from them.

**'What's up with 'Mione?' **

'Dunno, we'll talk to her after.'

The two boys sat down, unaware that Draco had watched their reaction. He knew that shutting herself out from her two best friends was going to be difficult even if they were the-boy-who-never-dies and weasel. It made no difference to him if they were Hermione friends or ex-friends; he never liked them.

**'Welcome to another year at Hogwarts! I'm very delighted to welcome back our old students and, welcome our new ones! So without further ado, let the sorting begin!'  
**  
McGonagal entered the hall followed by many frightened looking first years. They all huddled together as she approached the sorting stool and took out her parchment. (A.N. I can't be bothered to write a sorting song) She cleared her throat and began to read.

**'Appleton, Jessica.'  
**  
A frightened blond girl approached the stool and placed the hat on her head. After a few seconds it shouted out

**'Gryffindor!'  
**  
A roar of applause sounded from the Gryffindor table as she went to sit down. The sorting carried on until McGonagal reached the last name on the list,

**'Zackirri, Taylor.'  
**  
It barely touched the boy's head and shouted out.

**'Slytherin.'  
**  
Now that the sorting had finished, Gryffindor had received 8 first years. Hufflepuff had 10, Ravenclaw had 12 and Slytherin had received 8.

**'Now that the sorting has finished I would like to make a few announcements and beforehand. Firstly, for those who cannot understand the word forbidden, it means do not go in. Dangerous and prohibited.  
So I'm sure you can work out then why the Forbidden Forest is called forbidden? Good. Secondly, I would like to introduce a few new members of staff, our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Professor Lock. I hope you show her the same respect as you show the rest of your Professors. And our new Muggle Studies teacher Professor Jaton. I would also like to introduce our new Head Boy Mr. Draco Malfoy -Please stand.'**

Everybody applauded him and he stood and did a polite bow.

**'And our new Head Girl, Miss Hermione Granger- Please stand.'  
**  
All the Gryffindor's cheered and whooped, she had come home. Harry and Ron sat there with massive grins on their faces. Once they stood so did the whole table. The Hufflepuff's clapped also. The Ravenclaw's were shooting confused glances at each other but clapped anyway. The Slytherin's however just sat there. With looks of disgust and venom.

Hermione nervously stood and the hall all started whispering.

**'Is that Hermione?' **

'God, she looks different.'

'I can't believe she came home.'

'Yeah like 30 people!'

'Got no parents, me dad told me.'

'She's killed _him_.'

'Not even Harry Potter could do that.'

Once she sat down the hall quieted down. She looked relieved. _That wasn't too bad._

**'Yes congratulations the both of you. On to my last announcement, we have decided to hold a welcome back ball!'**

Again every one cheered at the idea.

**'However it won't be like a normal ball, upon suggestion from our head girl we are going to hold a masquerade ball- Hermione, why don't you take over?' **

'I, erm.'

Draco leaned over and reassured her that everything was going to be ok. So she took a deep breath and stood up.  
**  
'Well for those of you who don't know, a masquerade ball is when all the participants where a mask to conceal their identity. It hopes to bring the houses together as you don't know whom you are dancing with until the end of the night. You also don't need a date for the night, as you just dance with whom you want. As it's a Muggle themed idea, if you are still unsure about what it is, please ask either the Head Boy, myself -' **

'What if we don't want to ask you?'

There was silence around the room, everybody turned to face Pansy Parkinson from Slytherin who had interrupted her.  
**  
'Excuse me?' **

'I said what if we don't want to ask a murderer.'

All eyes were on Hermione. She was starting to panic; she didn't know what to say. Dumbledore knew she needed some help and stood.

**'Miss Parkinson, I will not have you calling the head girl a murderer, especially as it is a lie. Miss Granger is not a murderer; she is the wizarding world's salvation from evil. If you or any other member of this school think other wise and voice that opinion then I have no choice to but expel you, for slandering her name. Do I make myself clear?'  
**  
The hall nodded in response and Dumbledore sat down. His eyes were blazing with fury at the Slytherin's.

**'Ok, I'll continue, you can either ask me or a Muggle born, I'm sure they will be happy to oblige.'  
**  
At this point, Blaise Zambini and Pansy as well as a few other Slytherin 7th years stood and faced her. Hermione looked over at them, she recognized Pansy but the other 5 males she couldn't quite place, she knew she had seen them somewhere before, but where?

**'We said we don't want to ask a murderer, and what makes you think we want to ask mudbloods? You can have all the teachers around your little finger Granger . . .they might not think that you're a murderer but we do. You will always be one. Always.' **

'You think you're so special don't you? Got some power so I'm now miss-prissy-ruler-of-the-wizarding-world. Perfect-know-it-all-Queen, who can get anything she wants. With her perfect little life and her perfect little friends. Well I've got news for you, not everyone's going to fall at your feet, darling. To some of us, you are a murdering bitch.'

**'Mr. ZAMBINI, MISS PARKINSON! SIT DOWN.' **

'No, it's ok Professor let them. Go on then, what else have you got to throw at me?'

Neither of them said anything. They were actually surprised at her reaction. They expected her to cry. Everyone sat looking between Hermione and the standing Slytherin's. Even the teachers didn't know what to do.

**'Nothing? Ok well let me tell you something darling; you know nothing about my life or me. You know nothing about what I've been through and what I have to live with. I know I'm a murderer, I killed 39 people that night and don't you think that I regret it? Don't you think that I would go back and change what I had done? You think that I don't know pain or hurt? I've been through a hell of a lot more than any of you, so don't you dare stand there and say that I'm perfect when you know nothing about me.'  
**  
Hermione was surprised at herself. She was able to stand there and say all of that calmly. She didn't raise her voice or get angry.

She saw Blaise Zambini smirk.

**'Oh, that's right I forgot about your summer. Your parents' death, I must say it was quite funny to watch. The way they cried when we told them it was your fault. The way they begged for their lives, pathetic muggles.'  
**  
Gasps were heard all around the hall as Hermione's world crashed around her. That's where she knew them from. The Attack. It was they killed her parents. It was Zambini that raped her mum; she could see it all in flashes in her head. All the screaming and pleading. The hollow laughs of the Death Eaters. The cruel voices of them beating her parents. The whimpers of pain. The begging from her mum. It all fit. Hermione stood there numb from shock. Tears flowed from her eyes. The students and teachers alike sat there trying to take it all in, they couldn't believe what was just said.

Most of the students and Professors eyes were on Hermione and her tears.

Dumbledore couldn't meet her eyes; he knew now that this would crush her, she would find it very difficult to come back from this.

Hagrid who had stayed silent throughout felt like setting his little brother loose in the Slytherin common room for five minutes with them in it. See how they would like it. He couldn't bear to look at the hurting in her eyes. She has been through enough already.

Harry and Ron were numb and couldn't feel their feet to do anything. They just watched as Hermione's silent tears fell onto her porcelain skin. The hurt, pain and realization in her eyes.

Draco felt ashamed, ashamed to be associated with that house, he knew them. Or at least, he _used_ to. He couldn't bring himself to look at her.

McGonagall and Snape were watching the 6 standing students from Slytherin. Both Professors felt like getting their wands and casting a few carefully chosen spells. How dare they stand there looking so smug with themselves? How could they be so arrogant and have no shame for what they had just done.

Hermione couldn't take the silence in the room; she was finding it to hard to breath and had to get out. She turned and walked off the stage, she walked down the centre of the hall with every pair of eyes following her. Her eyes flowed freely and she didn't care, she just had to get out of there.

Draco, Harry, Ron, Hagrid, McGonagall, Dumbledore and Snape rose from their seats and made to follow her. They knew she would do something stupid when she was like this.

A shrill laugh filled the room.

**'Aww is little baby going to cry over mummy and daddy dying?'  
**  
**'I must say Granger your mum was quite a good fuck, never done it with a Muggle before, I thought I'd dirty myself just the once and it turned out pretty good. She has got one hell of a rack on her.'  
**  
That was the last straw for Hermione, she turned the most violent shade of red she'd ever been. Her eyes went midnight black and her skin paled to china white. She turned around to face a very frightened group of Slytherin's.

**'You fucking piece of shit.'  
**  
Her voice was dangerously low and with one wave of her hand the group were thrown back over the Ravenclaw table and landed on a few other students. Hagrid bounded up to her and grabbed her arms before she could do anymore damage.

**'Let me go Hagrid, I'll show him what I can fucking do, I'll make him fucking pay. Let me go.'  
**  
She was kicking and screaming and Hagrid was having a hard time restraining her. He dragged her out the hall and followed the others up to her common room.

**'I'm not done yet, let me go!' **

'Not 'till you calm down 'Mione.'

Once they were at the common room he went through the portrait hole and put her down. She fell to the floor in historical sobs. Hagrid, Harry, Ron, McGonagall, Snape, Dumbledore and Draco stood at the entrance scared.

**'Why d-d-d-didn't y-y-you just l-l-leave me?' **

'You would have killed him Maya.'

'HE KILLED MY FAMILY! HE BEAT MY MUM AND DAD! HE RAPED MY MUM; HE KILLED MY BROTHER. IT'S HIS FAULT I HAVE NO ONE.'

She stood up, still as red as she was when she left the hall, it was so dangerous for them to be this close. She turned away from the and with a wave of her hand she hurled the couch across the room and into the wall; She turned the coffee table over and smashed the windows.

**'I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DRAGGED ME OUT. DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT HE'S DONE TO ME? WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME?' **

'Mione if you just calm down, maybe we can talk about this.'

'I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS RON! I WANT TO KILL HIM! HE KILLED MY UNBORN BROTHER! DO YOU GET THAT?'

Ron fell silent. They all watched, terrified of what she might do.

Hermione stopped.

She looked around at the ground of people by the entrance, at their petrified faces, she looked shocked at their expressions and realization struck her. She looked at her hands and then around the room. Did I just do that? God please no.

She was terrified at herself now. She dropped to the floor and leaned against the back of the other sofa. She brought her knees up to her chest and sobbed her heart out. The red aura around her diminished and left a very frightened little girl crying her heart out.

**'I'm s-s-sorry. D-d-d-did I hurt a-a-a-anyone?'  
**  
She looked up teary eyed at them and they shook their heads. She looked away and continued to weep. Dumbledore told Harry and Ron to go back to the common room, and that he would come and talk to them later on. They nodded and left. He then turned to Snape and Hagrid.

'Can you retrieve those six Slytherin's and make sure they get to the hospital wing. When Poppy's checked them over I'd like them in my office immediately.'

They too nodded and left. Draco looked up at Dumbledore, he nodded and Draco rushed over to Hermione's crumpled figure.

He lifted her up and placed her on his lap on the sofa.

**'Shh you're safe now.' **

'D-D-Dray? I'm S-s-s-sorry.'

'You've got nothing to apologize for. Shh it's ok, you safe now.'

Hermione cried into his chest, as he made calming shushing noises and rocked her back and forth to calm her down. He started to rub her back to make her relax. He looked up at his two Professors and they looked at the couple with little smiles.  
**  
'Make sure she gets some rest; you are both dismissed from lessons tomorrow. I'll come and see you both in the morning.' **

'Thank you sir.'

'You're welcome Mr. Malfoy.

The two Professors left them in the common room. Draco continued to calm her until she could cry no more. Once she had cried herself to sleep, he summoned a blanket for them both and he too fell asleep.

see that little review button.... just there! yep, press it and review!!

raven

-x-


	16. Chapter 16: 1st day

A.N wow its been... a while? I'm sorry I never meant it to be this long until I updated especially this story because I've updated the other two more often.

I'm sorry for all those who follow this! But here it is, after months!

Thanks to everyone who reviewed!

Emma Barrows: It has been a LONG time since I updated this one! But here you go!

Morena-Forever: I'm glad you liked it.

Anarane Anwamane: Thanks!

Midnight Walker: I know you want them getting it on... and I swear you only have to wait a few more chapters!

lady-sanctuary: I'm sorry If it makes you cry! Thanks for your review

NicksterPotter: Thanks

Lionangel: We all want guys like Draco... But I don't think they exsist! **If any of you believe yourselfs like my Draco... let me know! **

Kaylee-Angel: Thanks

: We all want guys like Draco... But I don't think they exsist! Thanks

carlsberg-ice: Yeah! I knew follower! I'm glad you like this and I tried to make that murder scene powerful and by your response I succeeded. I have lots and lots of chapters planned for this about 15 more I think.

Black Rose15: Hey, Thanks! Sure I'd love to read your work, just email me it or the link and I'll be happy to read it.

Mistress-of-Mystery: Thank you so much!

PotterGurl07: Thanks so much! I love reading your review! Brings a smile to my face!

Cats7: I really don't know why Hermione always suffers in my stories, she just does, she's my main character and They are just the ideas I had. But when these are finished I am hopefully going to start another one without Hermy as the main character. And I will finish my stories!

ice-mage2 : Don't worry I will. Thanks for the review.

lovedrher: Thanks for the idea, maybe for the future because I have the next 5 of so chapters already planned out.

Disclaimer: I don't own a thing I promise!

****

Tears of a confused mind

Chapter 16: 1st day.

Hermione's head was thumping. The periodic pulsating in her head felt like a sledgehammer being smashed against her skull over and over and over. The never-ending pain caused white lights in Hermione's minds eye. Flashes.

The white lights soon swirled into coloured blurs. These blurs soon formed solid outlines, outlines of people Hermione knew very well. Outlines of places she spent some happy times. Dray, the great hall, Pansy, Blaise, her - losing her temper, Hagrid, her common room, a red light, Harry, Ron, Dumbledore, a couch, blurred tears.

She jerked awake. Once her eyes managed to focus to her surroundings, she surveyed the damaged _she_ caused last night. Glass scattered the floor, dirt smudges all over the wall, over turned couches and coffee tables. It was a mess.

She closed her eyes and rubbed her head in a vain attempt to ease the forming headache. Sighing, she sat up from her place on the couch and only then noticed the sleeping figure beside her. Dray.

There was know way she could face him now, too many questions, not sure if she could answer then. Instead of facing him, she did the only thing she knew how to do. Run.

As quietly as she good she left the common room and made her way to her bedroom. Grabbing a clean shirt, skirt and underwear, she slipped it all on and made her way into the bathroom. Leaving the bathroom 10mintures later, she found that Dray was still asleep on the couch, he had barely even moved.

I do hope he understands. I lost control again last night; I could have killed them all. I could have killed him. I can't do it, If he gets hurt I will never forgive myself.

Leaving her head dorms, Hermione decided that she might not be able to face Draco, but she wasn't go to run and hide from the Slytherins. Knowing it was only about 7.30, she went to the Great Hall for an early breakfast.

As she thought, there was a few forth year students, and two teachers she didn't know. Settling herself down at the end of Gryffindor table and grabbed a slice of toast.

Time seemed to fly by for Hermione at breakfast, before she knew it, it was 8 o'clock and hordes or students were pouring in from all years and houses. Many of them gave her funny looks or sympathetic looks or looks of utter fear. She just kept her head down and sipped her tea.

'- And now she's going out with Neville!'

Hermione knew that voice all too well. It was Ron, and Harry wouldn't be far behind. Hermione downed the last of her tea, grabbed her bag and shot up out of her seat. She knew Dray would be bad with questions, but it would be nothing compared to what the two of these would ask.

Seconds later the two of them came through the double doors, Hermione brushed straight past them without a single word. Harry went to grab her arm but failed.

'Hermione!'

'Where are you going?'

The shouts that followed her didn't make her stop. She carried on out of the main castle doors and down into the grounds.

For September the weather was surprisingly warm. The sun was beating down on the lake; the early morning heat brought the giant squid out of his murky sanctuary. Hermione watched as he lifted one of his huge tentacles out of the water and caught a low flying blackbird.

The bird withered on the surface for a moment before flying off.

A slight breeze whipped around Hermione as she watched the lake, lost in her own thoughts.

' 'Mione!'

Hermione turned around to see Hagrid coming out of his hut, Fang at his side and a bang in his hand.

No matter how bad she was feeling, she couldn't feel low when Hagrid was around her.

She went over to Hagrid, who was starting to feel some of the thestrals by his hut.

'Hagrid.'

'I wasn' 'pectin' 'o see ya this mornin' didn' ole Dumbledore give ya the week off?'

'I expect so, but I want to be here.'

'How ya feelin'?'

'I have a headache, but other than that I'm fine.'

'Com' on 'mione, I know ya beta than tha' But don' worry you'll be fine. Made o strong stuff you are!'

'Thanks Hagrid.'

'Well I wan' ya to com' see me any time. 'ave a cup o tea.'

'Sure.'

There conversation was cut short by the thundering footsteps of the seventh year Gryffindor and Slytherin Care of Magical Creatures class, coming down the hill to Hagrid's hut.

Hermione saw Harry and Ron in the front, smiling at her as they saw her turn. But her eyes were drawn to the pail blond at the back of the group who smiled softly at her.

I hate what I'm doing to him. It's just not fair.

Draco watch as her two best friends went to stand with her. But they got within 3feet of her and she moved across the circle that was forming and stood next to Hagrid.

He knew something like this would happen after last night. Shed blame herself, distance herself away and not let anyone near her. His thoughts were confirmed when he woke up alone this morning.

'Good mornin' class, today I go' o' special treat for you all. Jus' arrived this mornin' they called snuggles. They are half tiger n' half bears.'

Hermione looked at the cubs in the cage next to Hagrid. They had the head of a baby bear, but the body and colourings of a tiger. They were the cutest little things Hermione had ever seen.

'Can 'nyone tell me wha' they do?'

Hagrid looked around the pen; nobody raised their hands. Hermione rolled her eyes,

'The tears are used in dreamless sleep draughts, they are usually wild in the south African plains but they can be found in parts of China, Australia and New Zealand.'

'Well don'. 10 point' to Gryffindor.'

'Of course the Mudblood would know the answer.'

Hermione didn't even batter an eyelid. The high pitch screech was obviously from the pug faced Slytherin whore.

'Miss Parkinson, 10 point' from Slytherin. Don' use foul language. As I was sayin', you go' one each n' I fort we could make a lil' project out o' em.'

The lesson dragged on for another hour. Hermione zoned in and out, paying attention sometimes, most of the time, just looking at the bundle of fur in her lap. Her snuggle was a lazy little so and so and all it did was sleep.

'Ok so one nigh' a week to fed 'em. I want you to name 'em by next week.'

All the class was raising from their positions on the floor. Draco made his way over to Hermione who was putting her snuggle in the cage.

'So what have you named it?'

Hermione turned and looked in to the pure silver eyes.

'I haven't decided yet. Maybe itch.'

'Cute.'

Hermione gave him a weak smile and turned to leave, but somebody grabbed her hand.

'Can I walk with you?'

'Free country.'

The two of them walked in silence past the lake. Draco kept stealing glances at her, but she kept her eyes fixed on the floor before her. She refused to look at him.

'Why did you leave this morning.'

She knew this was coming. But it didn't mean she was prepared.

'Dray, I don't want to talk about it.'

'Maya, you can't bottle everything up you know.'

'I don't want to talk about it ok?'

Without a final look back at him Hermione walked off, leaving Dray staring at her retreating back.

Why is she so stubborn?

Hermione knew she shouldn't have snapped at him, it wasn't his fault. But he could be so relentless.

Making her way to the kitchen for an early lunch, Hermione passed a group of second years waiting outside McGonagal's classroom.

'Yeah that's her!'

'My dad said not to mess with her, she's scary.'

'I think she's special, not scary.'

Before she knew it she was outside the painting of the bowl of fruit. How she got there so quick she'll never know.

'Well well well, look what we found.'

For the second time that day, Pansy's shrill voice filled her mind. Memories of yesterday in the Great Hall came flooding back.

'The Gryffindor murderer shouldn't be walking these dark halls alone.'

She turned around to face her and was surprised to see Blaise's Crabbe's Goyles and Nott's smirked faces staring back at her. This she didn't expect.

'Look I don't want any trouble.'

A banshee's cry could shatter windows; Pansy's laugh could wake the dead.

'We don't care what you want murderer, we want to make you pay for yesterday.'

'Did you not learn what happens when you piss me off? Just leave me the hell alone.'

The five Slytherins circled her and closed in. She was surrounded.

'Pansy -'

Slap. She had hit Hermione straight across the face.

'Don't you dare speak my name whore.'

Hermione gritted her teeth and raised her hand to her lip. She felt a twinge, there was blood. Pansy had cut her lip.

No Hermione, stay calm, don't rise, that's what she wants. Don't fight back. It will be better if you just take it. Someone will be here in a minute. I hope.

'What? Not fighting back Mudblood?'

Pansy struck her again, this time harder sending Hermione to the floor with the one blow. The other four Slytherin's laughed.

'On the floor where she belongs eh bitch?'

She raised her head and looked Nott square in the eye.

'Fuck you.'

Draco couldn't help but worry about her. She was had been through everything and now back at school she got more shit?

He rounded the corridor towards the kitchens and heard a cry.

'On the floor where she belongs eh bitch?'

He knew exactly who it was. Nott.

He knew exactly whom Pansy just hit. Hermione.

Draco stood horror stuck and Blaise kicked Hermione. The others getting their little digs in when they could.

He knew exactly who was going to feel his wrath. Blaise.

'WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU DOING?'

Pansy turned around and smirked at Draco,

'Just teaching her a lesson.'

'Fuck off traitor' said a venomous Blaise.

Draco pushed passed the group and went to help but a bloody Hermione. His figures barely touched Hermione's when he was yanked back and went flying down the corridor.

'Your helping a Mudblood? You're not who you used to be man.'

'No I'm not and I couldn't be happier. Move.'

Blaise pushed him back down.

'She killed you father.'

'I know.'

Again Draco tried to get up. But Blaise pushed him back with his foot.

'I can't believe you'd choose a Mudblood over us.'

This time Draco succeeded in getting up. He lunged at Blaise and the two of then started rolling on the floor, getting punches and kicks in where and when they could.

'Don't you ever call her a Mudblood.'

Hermione pulled herself away from the remaining Slytherin's who were watching Blaise and Draco.

'Your father would be disappointed in you man, you could have been great.'

She could see Blaise punching Dray, the fight was getting more and more violent. Punches and kicks to the face, ribs, neck, any place that was accessible.

'Stop! Please stop!'

Nobody even battered an eyelid.

The fight was scaring her, she could feel the anger building up inside her.

She saw red.

She screamed.

She saw black.

A.N You know what to do!


	17. Chapter 17: Who's telling who?

A.N there is a slight religious connotation in this chapter, it is very small, but I thought that I would cover my back anyway. I mean no offence to anyone! Sorry if anyone does take offence, I don't mean to cause insult to anyone!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

A.N Thanks to everyone who reviewed.

Emma Barrows: Thanks, I'm glad you liked it.

Morena-Forever: I hope you enjoy this chapter!

mysteriouscharm: The red and black thing was her eyes and her aura, I'm not sure if everyone got it, but it was an increase in her power. More will be revealed about that soon.

Midnight Walker: That's ok, I don't need a puppy... I'm more of a cat person, hehe I'm glad you liked it.

NicksterPotter: If you thought that wasn't cool, then you're probably not going to like the way I've left this one.

goldenlioness1102: Hey I've kinda responded in the emails anyway... but thanks all the same!

Chaos-Ruby: Thanks, I'm glad you like it.

lightning8star: I'm glad I've got you hooked.

I wish your heart was mine: wow, what a review, I'm so glad that you like my story, Thanks for the massive compliments.!

I'm sorry If I've forgotten anyone.

****

Tears of a confused mind.

Chapter 17: Who's telling who?

People say that when you die, you see a bright white light, symbolising that there is god and heaven at the end of this light. That you are going on to a better place. Well if that's true Draco and Hermione would be dead.

Draco brought his arm up to shield his eyes from the piercing white light in his eyes, there was no way that he could even attempt to open his eyes, it was just too intense.

Am I dead? I didn't realise I could be in so much pain when I died. Ow it hurts, where am I? What happened? Mya!

His eyes sprung right open, he didn't care if he went blind, he had to make sure that his Mya was ok.

'Mya?'

His voice was barely a whisper, his throat felt like cheese grater and he, swallowing vinegar. Sighing, he looked at his surroundings; he was in the hospital wing. He could see more occupants in the beds across from him. His blood boiled when he realised who they were.

They are going to pay for what they've done to Mya. I'll make sure of it. They are not getting away with it. Where is she?

12345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567890123456789012324567890

'Dray! Where is he? Tell me! You can't keep him from me! You old witch let me go! I want to see Dray!'

Hermione's eyes sprung open, there was a shooting pain across her chest, like a baby elephant sitting on her, crushing her ribs, lungs collapsing inside of her.

But it wasn't the physical pain making her gasp in pain, it was the severe aching in her heart. Like a part of her was missing, part of her heart. Dray.

Tears welled up in her eyes at the thought of losing Dray. It was her parents all over again. What she didn't quite understand was how she could feel so strongly for him, she barley knew him.

She pushed all of these thoughts out of her mind and sat up in her hospital wing bed. She couldn't see him, just the Slytherin's. Before she had a chance to look for him Poppy came around her curtains.

'Good your awake.'

'Dray! Where is he?'

'Miss Granger, calm down, drink your potion.'

She tried to force a goblet of yellow goo into her hands but Hermione knocked it to the floor in frustration. The nurse jumped back from the flying potion.

'Tell me! You can't keep him from me!'

Hermione jumped out of her bed, ignoring the crushing in her chest and the bandages on her legs. Madam Pomphrey grabbed her arms, trying to get her to sit back onto her bed, but couldn't calm the hysterical girl down.

'You old witch let me go! I want to see Dray!'

'Ok! Ok! Miss Granger, if you drink you potion I will take you to see him.'

Hermione reluctantly agreed. She sat back on her bed and drank the vile goo that the nurse handed to her. It tasted revolting.

'Can I see him now?'

Poppy led Hermione from her bed, past her curtains to the bed next to her. She had no idea that he was actually that close. Poppy pulled the curtain back and they both saw a topless, pail blond sitting on the edge of his bed, smiling at them.

Hermione choked back her tears of relief. He was ok. He was alive. She ran into his outstretched arms and placed her lips fully onto his.

Dray felt her lips descend on to his; he had to be dead, or at least dreaming. The girl of his dreams was in his arms again, kissing him like there was no tomorrow… and he wasn't responding!

He gently pried her lips open with his tongue and intensified one of the best kisses of his life.

Finally, due to lake of oxygen, the couple pulled away for some much needed breath. Hermione rested her forehead against his and let the tears flow.

'You know I wouldn't mind waking up to that every morning.'

Hermione let out a laugh and looked at him straight in the eye. Loving the feeling of Drays hands, drawing circles on her waist.

'I can't believe you're ok.'

He raised his hand and wiped away her falling tear.

'Dray, I thought I'd lost you –'

'Shh.'

'No let me say it. I woke up and I had this horrible feeling of loss. I-I-can't do this anymore. I-I don't like it. Please baby I'm so s-s-sorry for what I've put you through. I-I don't think I can go on without you by my side-'

Hermione's declaration was cut short by Draco's lips.

'I love you.'

'I love you more.'

They were finally together.

12345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567890123456789012345678901234

Two days later, across the other side of the castle, in the headmaster's office, the mood was defiantly different. The headmaster was sitting behind his desk, head in his hands, listening to his deputy headmistress pace and rant at him.

'This is getting ridiculous! They should know! She should know! He should know!'

'My dear women-'

Dumbledore raised his head and looked at the flustered women.

'We cannot tell her anymore! It is too much.'

'She has to know what's to come! I can't stand by and wait! It could happen any day Albus, and how do we know that she'll choose the right path?'

Dumbledore sat back in his chair and waved his wand. Smoke streamed out of the tip, forming words, forming sentences, forming the last part of the seer script.

Two souls separated, now become one,

As strong as they seem, more must they over come.

As much as they try, she will decided to protect than fight,

Taken by someone who stood beside the light.

Unjust, unfair, heartbreaking judgments,

To be ripped from the very foundations she was born.

Trails and tribulations. Restrained by those she's saved.

To over come she must pick,

A road, which must stick,

For acceptance is the only way forward.

For she must realise this on her own,

Not by those who love her so.

Be strong.

All that she seeks, is to be accepted,

But the only way is to choose.

The smoke disappeared, leaving two very troubled professors, worried beyond belief.

I know Minerva wants to tell them, but surly its better they don't know? Then they can face anything that comes to them head on. Make decisions on instinct? I know she wants them to be prepared but what If they know too much and make the wrong decision? The chances are slim, but I can't risk loosing the both of them. Our world as we know it would seize to exist.

'Albus? Albus, what are we going to do about the incident? It's going to be hard to cover from Fudge. I know that no one was seriously hurt, but there's damage to the west wing, and you know the Slytherin's are not going to stay quite.'

'I know I know.'

10 minutes soon passed and McGonagal was trying to search for answers in his eyes. Usually she could read him, know what he was thinking, feeling, but now, it was looking at a brick wall. She couldn't get anything from him, no worry, no fear, no 'what am I going to tell fudge' nothing.

With no words said to his confidant, he rose from his seat and made his way over to his full-length mirror. He hadn't used it since Hermione disappeared. Now that she was here, he didn't need to.

Muttering the incantation, fog started to cover the glass, it soon faded out and solid figures could be seen. Solid figures of Hermione and Draco in the hospital wing.

She was sitting next to him on his bed, what they were conversing about he didn't know, but he could tell that they were more at ease with each other. They were laughing a joking.

What's going to happen if Fudge finds out? Merlin, he'll probably use it to get back at me. The incompetent fool, She can't take much more. She'll crack I know it. Minerva will have my head if anything happens to her. I've got to keep her safe from Fudge, we've just got to protect her.

1234567890123456789012345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567890

Hermione walked over to Draco's bed. It had been three days since the attack and they were finally being allowed to leave.

'Hey, how you feeling?'

She perched on the side of his bed, looking at his pail face. The blood-replenishing potion Poppy had tried to give him, reacted badly with his system, and now he had to take a combination of 4 potions every 4 hours for the last three days.

'I just wanna get out of here. I'm sick of looking at these four white walls.'

'Well when Poppy's been with the last of your potions, we can go back to our common room.'

'Good, I can't stand it in here.'

'Stop being such a baby.'

'You love it.'

He pouted, Hermione rolled her eyes at his pathetic attempts to make her laugh

'Everyone's still talking about it you know, Harry and Ron said that they are reconstructing the west wing.'

'Don't worry about it Mya, It will all blow over in a few days.'

'Yeah your right. Come on a get dressed, I want to take you back to the common room for some proper rest.'

'Yes mum.' He mumbled under his breath.

She slapped his arm and gave him a filthy look.

'Come on! I want to pamper you!'

'Well help me get dressed.'

'No.'

'Why not?'

'Because.'

'Because why?'

'Because I said so.'

'That's not a reason!'

'Drrraaayyyyyyyyy!' Hermione moaned.

He laughed, He liked to wind her up, not because he like seeing her frustrated, just that when she starts to get angry she pulls such a cute face…

Half an hour later, Hermione and Draco found themselves walking the short distance to their common room.

'- No we have to go back to lessons on Monday. Don't worry It's care of magical creatures.'

'Great! An hour and a half of that great oaffffablous teacher?'

He was going to call Hagrid a oaf, but with a scary glare from Hermione, he decided against it.

'Mya!'

The pair turned around to see Harry and Ron running down the corridor after them.

The guys actually hadn't confronted each other since the end of last year. Old habits die-hard with the three males, nobody had made the first move to call a truce for Hermione's sake.

'Hey guys, what's up?'

'We were going to see if you wanna come to the common room. Hang out for a bit.'

'O I don't know guys, I just wanna go back to my common room with Dray.'

Silence fell between the four of them. It annoyed Hermione to no end.

'Look, this is ridiculous. I know the three of you aren't the best of friends, but we're on the same side, Dray's not the same guy, you to know that! You trailed him.'

'What?'

'O, erm, well at the end of last year, Dumbledore told them to follow you, kind of make sure you weren't a rouge death eater.'

'O right.'

'I know you not a Death Eater baby, they were just following orders. So can you please try and get along. For my sake?'

She looked between her boys, Harry, Draco, Ron, Draco, Harry, Ron. Finally and surprisingly Ron stuck his hand out for Draco to shake. She caught Ron's eye and smiled at him. Draco shook his hand and then Harry's.

'You do realise if you hurt a hair on that bushy head of hers me and Harry will kill you.'

'Hey, my hairs not bushy any more!'

The three guys laughed at Hermione's pouting face. Draco leaned down and kissed her moping lips.

'Eww! We don't wanna see that!'

Hermione pulled away and stuck her tongue out at the two Gryffindors.

'I'll catch up with you too later.'

The four of them departed ways, more relaxed than when they began their conversation.

Hermione and Draco reached their dorm, and after saying the password, entered their tidied common room.

'Right you can either lay on the couch and rest or in your room.'

'I don't mind, as long as you're there.'

After Hermione had him settled on the couch, she conjured him a sandwich and a drink and set in on the coffee table in front of him.

'Right, I'll be woow!'

Draco pulled Hermione on top of him.

'What are you doing?'

'Trying to get a kiss out of you.'

'No! You've got to rest.'

She tried to get up from her current position, but Draco just tightened his grip around her waist.

'Ok if you won't kiss me, then at least lay with me for a while?'

'Fine!'

They adjusted their positions on the couch, so that Hermione now lay on her side, back against the back, with Draco on his side facing her.

No words were said between the two of them. Hermione traced Draco's face with her figures, he watched as her eyes wondered curiously over if face. The soothing sensations soon lulled him into a sleep. Hermione slimed at his delicate sleeping features, she adjusted herself once more, so now that his head lay above her chest and she could play with the baby hair on the back of his neck. (A.N I love doing that to guys, its so cute!)

She hadn't felt this happy in a long time.

1234567890123456789012345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567890

Miles and Miles away in a office in London, Minister Fudge sat at his desk going over piles of paper work, signing this decree and that act. Not really bothering to actually look at what he was signing.

He was stopped by an abrupt knock at his door.

'Come in.'

A tall gangly red head appeared at his door.

'Mr Fudge sir, sorry to interrupt you.'

'What is it Weasley?'

'Well this letter just came for you sir, it's marked urgent.'

'They're always marked urgent Weasley. Give it here.'

Percy handed the minister the letter in his hand and left. Fudge opened he parchment letter and looked lazily at it.

His expression going from lazy, to curious, to shock, to anger and outrage.

He screwed the letter up in his hand and shouted

'FUCK! WEASLEY!'

Percy came running into his boss's office.

'Yes Minister?'

'Get me Umbridge…NOW!'

Five minutes of wearing his carpet thin, Umbridge came striding into his office.

'What is it Cornelius?'

'We're going to Hogwarts.'

Well what do you think? review!


	18. Chapter 18: Unwanted visitor in my safe

Tears of a confused mind.

Chapter 18: Unwanted visitor in my safe place.

It was Monday, It was 8.50, there was a cool north easterly breeze across Hogwarts grounds, the sun was shinning down upon the lake, it was perfect early morning conditions for an outside lesson such as Care of Magical Creatures.

That's where we find our head boy and girl, they walk hand in hand down the steps from the main building and begin their trek across the grounds towards their first lesson of the morning.

A short distance in front of them, there was two Gryffindor's standing, talking, waiting for their lesson to begin.

'You still wouldn't think it would you? 'Mione and him?'

'I know, but he makes her happy and that's all that matters. We'll just have to get along for her sake, she doesn't need us bickering with Malfoy every second of the day.'

'Yeah, I mean I don't like the guy that much, but he has changed hasn't he? Since his dad died?'

'Your right he has, but I still think we should be vigilant around him.'

The sound of crunching leaves behind them brought the pair out of their discussion.

'Hey Mya, Malfoy.'

'Guys, he has a name you know.'

'Sorry. Draco.'

'Po-Harry. Ron.'

'See wasn't that hard was it?'

Hermione shook her head at the three-some. They would just have to practice saying each others names and like it.

'Do you know what we've got today?' said Hermione in an lazy tone.

'Those Snuggle things I imagine. They were a project weren't they?'

The three Gryffindor's nodded their heads at the Slytherin.

Hagrid came out of the forest carrying a big cage full of their pet projects. He placed the cage down and told his class to get their snuggles and partner up and see if they can interact with each other.

Hermione and Draco got their snuggles and wandered off a few feet from the rest of the class, Harry and Ron not far behind.

'Shall we work in a four?'

Hermione and Draco nodded their heads and the four students sat down on the grass, letting their snuggles interact with each other.

The four of them watched as Taz (Ron's snuggle) and Leo (Draco's snuggle) jumped Simba (Harry's snuggle) The three snuggles carried on play fighting for a while, whilst Hermione's snuggle who she had yet to name sleeped peacefully in her arms. She hoped that one day Harry, Ron and Draco could interact as easily with one another like their snuggles do.

'A ha! Harry your Snuggle is a wimp! It can't even get out of Leo's tag!'

'Shut up Draco! Simba isn't a wimp!'

'Yeah mate he is, even Taz can beat him, im sure giving the chance Hermione's could beat the crap out of it too.'

' O so siding with Draco now! I get it! Thanks Ron.'

Hermione smiled to herself, this was a start. Just them relaxing around one another.

Across the ground, up the front steps, through the entrance hall and up the grand stair case, through the corridors and up two more flights of stairs, round two corners and half way down this corridor, sat a stone gargoyle. This gargoyle was the entrance to the headmasters office.

In said office at this time was a meeting between Professors Snape, McGonagal and Dumbledore. Their meeting soon to be interrupted.

'I think I've narrowed it down to the next 2 months, but its hard to say.'

'I understand Albus, but we can't just not tell them, it's ridiculous!'

'No, Minerva, Albus is right not to tell them, it will just scare them and it could cause too much tension between them, we should just wait and -'

The headmasters office door was burst open and in strode the current Minister of Magic - Fudge, his undersecretary - Umbridge and 4 arours.

The three professors rose from their positions at the sudden intrusion and interruption of their meeting. Something big was going on and it looked like if a fight was to brake out they would loose, they were outnumbered 2:1.

'Excuse me! What do you think you are doing barging into my office like this unannounced, interrupting a very important meeting with my staff?'

Dumbledore was clam considering the rude intrusion not 10 seconds ago. His two members of staff however held expressions of confusions, shock and anger.

'We have a lot to talk about Dumbledore. I suggest you sit down, excuse your staff and get to explaining. You have a lot to tell me I think.'

Fudge was positively fuming, the letter still fresh in his mind.

'My staff will go no where Fudge. I suggest you sit down and excuse your unnecessary arours from my office.'

The four arours made to leave the headmasters office but stopped when Fudge barked at them

'Stay where you are!'

'What is this all about Cornelius?'

'Minerva, my business here concerns myself and Dumbledore, not you.'

'Cornelius! You will not speak to Minerva in such a manner. We are all adults here. Sit down and tell me what all of this is about.'

Dumbledore conjured two more chairs for Fudge and Umbridge, who had remained silent through this.

'When, Dumbledore, were you going to inform me of what has been going on?'

'Excuse me Cornelius, I'm not sure I understand what you are saying.'

Fudge's fat round face turned red, anger was building and everyone could see that the little man was going to explode out of sheer frustration soon. He reached into his coat pocket and drew out the piece of parchment he had been sent.

'I got a letter. I very interesting letter at that.'

The worried glances between the three professors went unnoticed by the Minister. The same word going through all of their minds...Shit.

The sudden realisation however did show on the headmasters face, which the fat man caught.

'I trust we are on the same page now Albus?'

'Yes, Cornelius I think I know what you are talking about now.'

'Then let me cut straight to it.'

Fudge leaned back into his chair and looked the worried Headmaster in the eye.

'She's going to be detained. She is a risk to the other students, and I must consider the welfare of everyone at this school as well as the magical community. I've ignored this for too long. She will be arrested and detained pending trial.'

The outrage expressed by McGonagal and Snape went unnoticed by Dumbledore. Fudges words echoed in his mind. He ignored the shouts in front of him and looked out of his office window, out on to the grounds below.

His eyes weren't what they used to be so it took a few seconds for him to focus on what he was actually seeing.

Arours dressed in red robes were coming through the gates of his school, he took a double take, thinking his eyes were deceiving him. This group of arours were making their way to the Care of Magical Creatures class, going unnoticed by the actual class.

He knew what class it was. Hermione's class. His breath hitched in his throat, he turned his attention to Hagrid hut, on the outskirts of the Forbidden forest. Again he did a double take. More red robed arours were going out of the forest, making their way to the unsuspecting class.

Anger bubbled up inside the headmaster. He couldn't believe what Fudge had ordered on his school, on one of his pupils.

'THIS IS MY SCHOOL FUDGE, YOU DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO DO THIS.'

His voice rose above the other bickering ones in his office. All of the occupants turned to face a seething Albus Dumbledore. He rose from his chair and strode from behind his desk.

'NO! SHE IS AN INNOCENT CHILD FUDGE AND I WILL MAKE SURE YOU PAY FOR THIS'

Dumbledore flew from his office and down his staircase. Everyone else close behind him.

Hermione was extremely content in her current position, sitting with the three people that loved her most in the world, playing and having fun.

But, but something wasn't right, she could feel it. Like a warning in the air. She looked around her, her other class mates playing with their snuggles, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. She looked up at the school, nothing bad, her eyes scanned the lake and the main entrance to the school. That's when she saw them.

The arours coming threw the gates, towards her.

She spun around trying to find an escape, the forest. But when she looked towards it and saw that even more arours were filling out of it.

She was being surrounded.

Her heart was beating a thousand miles an hour. What was she going to do.

She was panicking. Her breathing becoming chaotic.

She looked at the three guys in front of her, who now noticed something was wrong with her.

She whipped out her wand and pointed it at the three of them.

'Maya -'

'I'm Sorry, I love you all. But I have to do this. I have to make sure you don't do anything stupid.'

She bound the three boys. They couldn't do anything.

She raised from her sitting position and faced her class who were becoming extremely nervous.

'GET IN THE HOUSE NOW!'

They didn't need telling twice, they all scrambled into the house and watched as the arours closed in around her.

''Mione!'

'NO HAGRID. STAY BACK! I DON'T WANT YOU GETTING HURT.'

Hagrid didn't know what to do for the best. He hesitated, which was all the time

Hermione needed. She looked for an escape.

There was nothing.

The arours were getting closer and closer. All had their wands raised pointed straight at her.

One of the ones closest to her, shouted

'Don't do anything rash Miss Granger.'

Hermione only had one option. She cast a blinding white light around her, hoping that it might blur the arours vision enough for her to escape past them.

While the arours were shielding their eyes, Hermione ran to her only source of safety, the school.

There was a buzzing in her ears, the blood pumping so hard into her head. She couldn't hear anything else. She had to concentrate on her escape.

Behind her she knew Hagrid and her class were all screaming.

She couldn't hear them.

She looked up at the castle, many teachers had heard the commotion and now their were teachers and student all hanging out of the class room windows screaming her name, some so scared they were crying.

She couldn't hear them.

It was if somebody pressed a button. A slow motion button. The next 5 seconds were like somebody slowing time.

Hermione spun around after a white light almost hit her.

She saw Dumbledore, McGonagal and Snape running down the front steps towards her, wands raised. Screaming.

Fudge and Umbridge stood at the top looking at her, smug grins on their faces.

20 curses in every direction were coming straight for her.

Her eyes closed at the immense pain that shot through her.

She couldn't hear anything. She couldn't see anything. She couldn't feel anything.

Nothing.


	19. Chapter 19: The Ministry of Magic

Disclaimer: I own nothing of the JK Rowling creation or anything else you may recognise.

A.N No excuse just an apology and a thank you to those who reviewed.

Tears of a confused mind

Chapter: At the ministry

A distant sound of the birds chirping at the brake of dawn; the slow rumble of cars and buses transporting people to work; perhaps an early morning beep of an alarm clock, a vivid shout of a disgruntled postman or even the loud common voices of the bin men. These were the common early morning sounds across central London, but one person, lying on a cold hard metal hospital bed, situated meters beneath ground level, heard none of these, they heard nothing.

A groan of pain could be heard from the occupier of the bed.

_What the hell?_

She tried to open her eyes to see her surroundings to try and figure out where the hell she was. Once she managed to open her eyes, she was forced to close them again. Her surroundings were far too bright. Nothing but a clean white light.

Her mind was suddenly reeling with the last things she could remember. Flashes of coloured images plagued her mind. Care of magical creatures. The animals. Cursing Harry, Ron and Draco. Her screaming at Hagrid. Witches and Wizards wands raised pointing at her. Them coming closer and closer. Running towards the castle. Screams surrounding her. Dumbledore, McGonagal and Snape running down the stairs. 30 curses streaming towards her. Black. Darkness.

Almost as quick as the images filled her head, the pain from the curses flooded every muscle possible. Not one part of her didn't hurt.

Her head felt like it was going to explode, every muscle was on fire, taught and stretched.

She tried to sit up and figure out exactly where she was. She wanted and needed answers.Trying to push herself up on her elbows, she found that she couldn't, she was restrained to the bed. She could just about lift her head.

_What the hell is going on?_

She lifted her head and looked down at herself. She was dressed in dingy grey rough cotton trousers and matching shirt. Her feet were clasped in metal locks and her legs were bound by leather buckled restraints at her shins and again at her calf's. Her middle was bound in a leather buckle, another, across her chest. Her arms - like her ankles - were bound in metal locks. She could barely move.

_Who the hell would do this to me - Fudge! I'll kill him._

'FUDGE!'

She started to struggle against her restraints, trying aimlessly to get free.

'FUDGE, WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE TO ME?'

She pushed, pulled, kicked and screamed, but nothing was moving the restraints. She was starting to sweat - but nothing.

'FUDGE GET YOUR ARSE IN HERE NOW!'

She stopped her struggle and finally took in her surroundings. Other than herself and the bed, there were only two other noticeable things in the room - a black glass window to her left and a door straight in front of her. She let out a frustrated cry and closed her eyes.

_Why am I here? Where's Dumbledore? How can they keep me here like this?_

She was brought out of her thoughts by a loud banging in her room. Her eyes snapped open and for a split second she was filled with hope - somebody was here to rescue her. But all hope was shattered when her eyes landed on a short fat balding man in a violet pinstriped suit and matching bowlers hat.

'Good morning Miss Granger, how are you?'

His voice was annoyingly calm and cheery. He was pleased, she scowled at the idiotic man.

'Fuck you Fudge. Where the hell am I?'

He conjured a chair and sat down beside her bed.

'You are at the ministry my dear. I thought perhaps putting you in St. Mungos but I couldn't risk putting all those others in danger could I?'

She narrowed her eyes at him. He was really pissing her off.

'Why am I here?'

He sighed heavily, pulling off his gloves and laid them on the side of her bed.

'You need to be restrained. You are dangerous.'

'And tying me to a bed is the answer?'

He looked up and smiled falsely at her.

'It's just until your trail.'

Hermione's ears were ringing.

_Did he just say trial?_

'Trial? What do you mean trial?'

'Let me explain. As minister of magic, I was informed of recent 'events' at Hogwart's. Now I cannot put anyone in danger, so I need to take action and eliminate the risk.'

'That doesn't explain about the trail and restraints.'

'I had a meeting with my educational minister and other advisers in my cabinet and we came to the decision that with the 'you-know-who scare' we can't ignore any abnormal power surges, especially if they endanger others. You need to be tried for the murderers and the 3 attacks that have happened. Justice must be brought Miss Granger.

'And the bed? Well that was my idea. It's specially designed to keep the person down and prevent them from doing any magic. The metal on the restraints will absorb all the magic and penetrate it straight back into your body in the form of a shock - for the safety of others around you, you understand.'

Hermione's anger was building up inside her.

_They can't do this! It must be illegal. They can't keep me locked up me locked up like this! We'll see about this Fudge, it can't be legal._

She felt that familiar energy urge through her, her eyes darkened and she felt her skin tingle and glow. No sooner had she tried to stun him, her body began to burn, her blood felt like it was boiling, her muscles were convulsing and she screamed. A high pitched bone chilling cry of extreme pain.

Tears streamed down her face. Once the pain had stopped her breathing became ragged and the tears continued to fall.

'Y-y-you w-wanka F-F-Fudge. I-I want-t-t to see Du-Dumbledore!'

He smirked down at the young witch, rising, he put his gloves back on and made his way back to the door.

'You'll see your precious Dumbledore soon enough.'

Without another word to her, he left her cell.

'FUDGE!'

She knew that he wouldn't respond. She closed her eyes and let the tears stream down her face. These weren't tears of pain. These were tears of confusion.

'I apologise for any inconvenience caused by this emergency meeting, but we have a problem.'

Dumbledore sighed and sat at the head of the table at the Order of the Phoniex. All around the table were all the witches and wizards who were members, eagerly awaiting what he had to say.

'Some of you may have heard the rumours about what happened at the school yesterday -'

'- Is it true?'

Dumbledore faced Molly Weasley. Ever since Ron had scribbled a letter to her about Hermione's arrest, she had to know if it was true.

'Dumbledore. Is. It. True? Has Hermione been arrested?'

What could he say? It was such a direct question. He had hoped to ease the news to them but now he couldn't. He nodded.

Molly burst into tears, Hermione was like one of her own and now she had been arrested. Arthur tried to comfort his hysterical wife.

'HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?'

Charlie, Bill, Fred and George all stood at the kitchen counter shaking with rage. None of them could believe that this had happened. They had just got back. And now she had been arrested - in the 'care' of Fudge.

'It seems that somebody has told Fudge everything and now he is going to make a show of her.'

'Have you any idea who it is that told him?' piped up Tonks

'I have suspects, each person more unlikely than the last.

'We're not getting anywhere here, so here is what we are to do. Arthur, Percy, Bill, Charlie, Kingsley, Tonks, I need you to get to the ministry, speak to the heads of your department and start petitions to free Hermione. There is no way we can get Fudge out of office yet. When they have started to circulate, I want you to get right in and spread the word to sign them.'

The six of them nodded and apparated immediately to get the petitions started. Time was of an essence. The more support they could get the better and this way it would be easier to influence them to get Fudge out of the ministry.

Mad eye Moody, who had been currently sitting at the other end of the table, hobbled over to Dumbledore at sat down next to him.

'She doesn't deserve this' - Dumbledore straightened up and looked at his old friend - 'I know you will do everything you can for her Dumbledore, you're a good man and we will do everything we can.'

'I know Alistair. This is just Fudge's way to show me up.'

For the next 10 minutes Witches and Wizards who were members of the Order came and went with news of the arrest spreading throughout the ministry and the outrage it was causing.

This lifted Dumbledore's spirits slightly but he couldn't help but listen to Molly's hysterical sobbing.

'What if they experiment? What if we can't see her? What if they put her on trial? What if she gets sent to Azkaban?'

Fred and George tried to comfort their mother but it was no use.

Molly's last words kept sounding in his mind. 'What if she gets sent to Azkaban.' If Fudge took this all the way - which was likely - then chances were she would be sent there. He couldn't let her live those memories of the bulling, the beatings, the cuttings, Harry and Ron, Voldermort and the Death Eaters, the dream laps of her parents and brother and the attacks all over again. It almost killed her the first time.

He sighed and closed his eyes. It had been a long two days.

Dumbledore was brought out of his thoughts by the screech of an owl. This he was expecting. He knew right away what it was - A letter from Fudge.

A. Dumbledore

As legal guardian of a one Miss Hermione Granger until she leaves school, I must inform you of the legal charges brought against her.

My initial decision was to tri her for the two attacks on students at Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry, however after a little thought, I think it best if charges were filed against her for the murders at the Malvolo-Riddle estate, the attack on those at her home including the Ministry officers, and fleeing arrest.

Until we have medical evidence about her 'condition' and it clearly states she is not a risk to the public, she will be securely restrained at the ministry, which will prevent her from doing any magic at her own dismay.

To keep inline with the current laws, I'm letting Miss Granger have **ONE** visitor. Whom ever this may be must be at the Ministry front desk by 2pm today, so they can be escorted to Miss Grangers unit.

Her trial will take place in two days time in court room 10 (Department of Mysteries) at 10am. Bring whom ever you wish as you are obligated to attend.

Minster of Magic.

C.A.Fudge.

He looked up from the parchment in his hands and saw many people staring intently at him.

'Fudge is going to hold a full hearing in two days -'

'Oh my.'

A fresh wave of tears flowed through Molly.

'What else?'

Dumbledore turned to face Severus Snape.

'She's not only being tried for the two attacks at the school but for the murders at Voldermort's mansion, the attack at her home on Death Eaters and the ministry officers and fleeing.'

Snape put his head in his hands. This. Was. Not. Good.

'When can we see her?'

'I'm afraid Molly that he's only allowing one visitor. But you can come to the trial.'

Just as she was about to say something the kitchen door flew open and Harry, Ron and Draco came striding in. Those already in the kitchen simply stared at Draco, all with the same thing going through their mind.

_What the hell is he doing here?_

'What's Malfoy doing here?'

Draco who was standing behind Harry and Ron shuddered. He didn't have the best experience when it came to Mad eye. Surprisingly it was Ron that came to Draco's defence.

'Draco is here for Hermione, like the rest of us. So leave him alone. If it wasn't for him we wouldn't have Hermione back at all.'

'Thanks Ron.'

Ron clapped him on the back and the three of them sat down at the table. Molly set 3 cups of steaming hot chocolate in front of them. Harry looked up and met Dumbledore's eyes.

'Any news?'

Instead of telling them what had happened, he passed the three boys the letter. Silently they read the letter, their expressions going from worry to anger to outrage.

'You've got to be kidding me!'

Everybody stared at the furious Malfoy standing red-faced looking down at the letter.'

'She'll be eaten alive at a trial! Dumbledore this isn't right, there must be something you can do - petitions, newspapers something!'

He raised his hand and silenced the head boy.

'We are already ahead of you Mr Malfoy. As we speak the word is being spread throughout the Ministry.'

Draco signed and sat back down.

'When can we' - Draco waved his hand to the two people beside him - 'see her? It says 2pm.'

Dumbledore couldn't meet the poor boy's eye. Obviously he hadn't read the latter carefully enough.

'Mr Malfoy, It says only one visitor, as her guardian - '

'NO!'

Instead of just Draco protesting, Harry and Ron stood as well.

'Boys, please sit down. It wouldn't be fair on either of you if I just let one of you see her - '

' - But that means we can't see her until her trial! What if we never get chance to- to - '

'Mr Weasley, I'm sure some arrangements can be made, but I must insist that I go and see her. I believe it would upset her if she saw anyone of you.'

After more protests and shouts from the three boys, they finally gave in, only after making Dumbledore promise to pass on a few scribbled notes. Once they were finished, Dumbledore left Grimmuald place and made his way to the Ministry of Magic.

Hermione had no idea who long she laid on that cold hard metal bed staring at the tiled ceiling, it could have been days, it could have been minutes. She just didn't know.

Her mind was reeling, the thought of a trial terrified her, she remembered how Harry had described his and she knew hers would be worse.

'Hermione?'

She turned her head to face the doors where her headmaster stood with a look of worry.

'Professor!'

Both faces visibly relaxed. Hermione on seeing a familiar welcoming face, Dumbledore seeing that there was nothing physically wrong with her that he could tell.

Like Fudge, he conjured a chair and sat down besides her. His eyes racked over her restraints before settling on her face. Her eyes were red and blotchy her skin tired and gaunt.

'How are you feeling?'

'To be honest? Like crap. I'm still feeling the after effects of the shock.'

He didn't have to ask what shock, because he knew Fudge to well.

'I'm sorry.'

'It's not your fault sir, please don't blame yourself. It was bound to happen eventually.'

'I have a few letters for you. Would you like me to read them?'

Hermione simply nodded her head. She was going to hear from her boys. This must be hard for them, knowing that the next time they'd see her she was going to be in court and sentenced.

Dumbledore pulled out the three pieces of parchment from his pocket and began to read.

Mione' It was Ron.

I wish we could come and see you but Dumbledore said we can't. So I thought that I'd write down something to say.

Don't ever forget that we love you and we're doing everything we can to get you out and that bastard Fudge sacked.

We'll see you soon I promise.

Love you

Ron

_Good old Ron, knows exactly how to lift my spirits_

'Is he ok?'

'Mr Weasley is fine. Very annoyed that he couldn't see you though.'

'Sounds like Ron.'

Dumbledore then went on to read Harry's letter. It was shorter than Ron's, but Hermione felt more from it.

Hermione,

Don't let the bastards grind you down.

I promise I will get you out of that hell.

Keep your head up high.

Love you forever

Harry.

Harry never failed to reminded her that she was still alive and she was defiantly made of stronger stuff.

'Did Draco write?'

'Yes - are you sure you want me to read it?'

Again she simply nodded for him to continue.

Maya,

I there with you and I will be there with you always.

I promise.

Forever.

Dray.

She wanted to believe his words, but there was something that was making her doubt that she'd ever get out of here.

Just as Hermione was about to respond, the door to her cell swung open and in strode the man of the hour.

'Times up.'

'Fudge! I've been her 10 minutes. You can't be serious!'

'Dumbledore I make the rules not you. Leave or I will call security and have you removed.'

'Do you think your 'security' is a match for me? Do I have to remind you of what happened in my office two years ago?'

Fudge flushed crimson.

'I will not be intimidated. OUT!'

'No please five more minutes!'

Hermione began to struggle against her restraints again. He couldn't leave yet, she had a few more questions.

Panic spread throughout her and she felt herself lose control, her screams filled the room and Dumbledore's head snapped back to her.

'Fudge - THIS IS INHUMAN! LET HER GO!'

Fudge ignored his protests and her screams. Dumbledore retched his arm from Fudges grip and went over to Hermione who was withering on her bed. He placed a comforting hand and her shoulder. Her teary eyes looked up and locked with the twinkleless eyes of Dumbledore.

'Th-th-theres a s-s-smudge on the p-p-phoneix's heart-t-t.'

Dumbledore winked at her and turned to leave. Fudge stood confused at the door, but once Dumbledore brushed past him, he simply closed the door behind him, leaving Hermione again alone, tired, scared and confused.

ok so i know it wasnt the best of chapters but im sorry! for the other two stories, im hoping to update them shortly!

IM SORRY!


End file.
